Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27

[dawbs]

*snip*

I remember reading science fiction story collections that referenced their original publication several years earlier....in Playboy...some of the settings or happenings in the story were not going to pass muster in a magazine that small children might pick up - like a matter transportation device malfunctioning & the situation was NOT going to be one anyone wanted to explain to their kids.

A lot of amazing writers were published there--to some extent, back when it wasn't seen as a big deal to write for kids one day and adults (with adult themes) another.  Roald Dahl and Shel Silverstein come to mind immediately.

[jedikaiti]

DH has been to a Hooters and he said he found it rather sad.

I roll my eyes at the guys who say they go for the wings. I want to snark "And I bet you read naughty magazines for the articles too, don't you?" 

The wings really aren't that special, not anything you couldn't get anywhere else, anyway.

According to DH, you can very much read naughty magazines for the articles. Particularly Playboy.

I once cited Playboy for a term paper in college. Mainly to see if I could get a reaction out of the prof. I didn't. <G>

[Diane AKA Traska]

DH has been to a Hooters and he said he found it rather sad.

I roll my eyes at the guys who say they go for the wings. I want to snark "And I bet you read naughty magazines for the articles too, don't you?" 

The wings really aren't that special, not anything you couldn't get anywhere else, anyway.

According to DH, you can very much read naughty magazines for the articles. Particularly Playboy.

I remember reading science fiction story collections that referenced their original publication several years earlier....in Playboy...some of the settings or happenings in the story were not going to pass muster in a magazine that small children might pick up - like a matter transportation device malfunctioning & the situation was NOT going to be one anyone wanted to explain to their kids.

In a slightly related, and amusing, aside... science magazine Omni was founded by Bob Guccione. 

[IrishGenes]

The discussion of Hooters and Playboy magazine is beginning to make me feel pretty uncomfortable.  Could we steer the conversation back to PA stories, please? 

[VorFemme]

Ever noticed that PA people think that everyone should think the same way that they do, so they really seem lost when it comes to understanding that "hints" are not enough? 

And if you don't get their hints, then you are the one who is being obnoxious or you're just too silly to recognize that "hinting" that they like *certain restaurant* means "I'm hungry, feed me".  Maybe even "feed me NOW, my blood sugar is dropping"!

[RingTailedLemur]

Ugh, hints.

My ex housemate's method was to stand and stare at me until I worked out what he wanted.  When I asked him to use his words to ask me to do things, he'd just whine, "I thought you would have realised..."

[mechtilde]

That reminds me of Bart Simpson ordering the squid platter, extra tentacles, and being grossed out when he actually got it.

My boys argue about who gets the most tentacles!

[eport]

DH has been to a Hooters and he said he found it rather sad.

I roll my eyes at the guys who say they go for the wings. I want to snark "And I bet you read naughty magazines for the articles too, don't you?" 

The wings really aren't that special, not anything you couldn't get anywhere else, anyway.

According to DH, you can very much read naughty magazines for the articles. Particularly Playboy.

I once cited Playboy for a term paper in college. Mainly to see if I could get a reaction out of the prof. I didn't. <G>

I cited a PLayboy article in my senior history thesis paper in undergrad. It was an interview with a member of British Parliment who was at the event in question. Yeah, over 60 pages of writing and of course that's the footnote the professor asked me about first

[AzaleaBloom]

The hinting!  Argh!  PA Exboyfriend was also quite fond of that.  We had dinner with my parents once where, instead of asking my mom to pass something, he just stared at her and at what he wanted.  Really unnerved her.  And she grew up with a mother who was the queen of passive aggressive hints.

He also wouldn't tell me if there was a problem - he'd drop these really obtuse hints and expect me to catch on.  And when I didn't, he'd give me the silent treatment.

Sometimes I look back and wonder why the heck I put up with him as long as I did.  The thing about some PA behavior is, though, that sometimes you don't catch onto it until it's already established.

[rose red]

My mom always go "Why don't you make cupcakes since you like it so much" or "Why don't you order mushroom pizza since you like it so much" or "I'm making beef stew since you like it so much"

Of course since I'm posting in this thread, you know it's she who likes those things so much.  She loves getting what she wants and getting credit for "giving us what we want" and she loves acting like she's the one sacrificing her needs so we can have what we want.  We use to pretend not to know what she's doing and say "no, we don't want that today" but got tired of her sulking and martyr act afterwards so we just play the game now.  We do still call her on it, but she's never going to change.  Have to pick our battles and this isn't worth it.

[Olena]

Oh the silent treatment! My ex used to do this all the time. An example I remember seemed to always occur first thing in the morning. You see, he would have a dream in which I was doing all sorts of devious acts with other gentlemen.  ??!! After many frustrating attempts (years of this) to get him to talk, tell me what the dream was about, and defending myself, etc. I finally just said, "Fine. Don't tell me." And I continue on with my day. Actually, in thinking about that now it was probably PA of me to say that to him.

I completely agree with AzaleaBloom in that sometimes we don't see the behavior until it is already established.

[Yvaine]

Oh the silent treatment! My ex used to do this all the time. An example I remember seemed to always occur first thing in the morning. You see, he would have a dream in which I was doing all sorts of devious acts with other gentlemen.  ??!! After many frustrating attempts (years of this) to get him to talk, tell me what the dream was about, and defending myself, etc. I finally just said, "Fine. Don't tell me." And I continue on with my day. Actually, in thinking about that now it was probably PA of me to say that to him.

I completely agree with AzaleaBloom in that sometimes we don't see the behavior until it is already established.

I hate it when I have a dream about someone doing something awful, and then I wake up irrationally mad at the real them! But acting on it is just plain nuts. 

[GlitterIsMyDrug]

My mom always go "Why don't you make cupcakes since you like it so much" or "Why don't you order mushroom pizza since you like it so much" or "I'm making beef stew since you like it so much"

Of course since I'm posting in this thread, you know it's she who likes those things so much.  She loves getting what she wants and getting credit for "giving us what we want" and she loves acting like she's the one sacrificing her needs so we can have what we want.  We use to pretend not to know what she's doing and say "no, we don't want that today" but got tired of her sulking and martyr act afterwards so we just play the game now.  We do still call her on it, but she's never going to change.  Have to pick our battles and this isn't worth it.

Your mom would like my grandma.

My grandma spent much of my childhood explaining to my grandpa and mom that she bought Fig Newton cookies because I liked them so much. "Oh Glitter loves Fig Newtons, so I bought them for her", now, I couldn't remember ever saying I even liked them. I liked Oreos, but Fig Newtons...not so much. But I thought, grandma keeps saying I like them, so I must like them. So I kept trying to eat them. I do not like Fig Newtons. I really don't. However, grandma loves them! Now why couldn't grandma just ever say "I bought Fig Newtons because I like them", I don't know. Heck I don't even know why she was explaining why she bought anything. It wasn't like she was choosing the cookies over say regular groceries or anyone thought she had Fig Newton addiction. No one cared why she bought whatever she bought, the kitchen was her domain and we all trusted her! I buy Oreos. Why? Because I like Oreos. Do you know who I tell? No one. I'm a grown up, I want Oreos, I buy them. Partner has never become confused by the existence of Oreos in our house. It's pretty much "I didn't buy these, Glitter must have, she likes them", no question is ever raised!

Oh and yes, grandma still buys them, still says their for me, for when I visit. Of course I never eat them when I visit, and grandpa knows I don't like them, but we all just go with "they're for Glitter". She's never even tried to get me to eat them. Now the red vines she buys, those really are for me when I visit.

[GreenBird]

Oh the silent treatment! My ex used to do this all the time. An example I remember seemed to always occur first thing in the morning. You see, he would have a dream in which I was doing all sorts of devious acts with other gentlemen.  ??!! After many frustrating attempts (years of this) to get him to talk, tell me what the dream was about, and defending myself, etc. I finally just said, "Fine. Don't tell me." And I continue on with my day. Actually, in thinking about that now it was probably PA of me to say that to him.

I completely agree with AzaleaBloom in that sometimes we don't see the behavior until it is already established.

Since you really were giving up on getting him to explain his weird attitude, I don't think you were PA at all to say, "Fine. Don't tell me."  You were just saying exactly what you thought, which is the opposite of PA. 

[Shalamar]

Glitter, your gran should meet my MIL.  MIL is somehow convinced that I like eggs.  She often goes out of her way to point out that she made some, saying "I made sure to save some for you."  I've given up explaining that not only do I not like eggs, I actually HATE them.  They make me physically sick.