Changes for Thanksgiving 2013

[RegionMom]

Bite your tongue!  Sweet potatoes are a must!!  Casserole, bread, pie...does not matter, have had it with all.
The only debates are nuts vs. marshmallows?
 

[agentsmith]

Maybe a regional thing?  Sweet potatoes are as required as turkey around here.  Plain or nuts, IMNSHO.

[cabbagegirl28]

Drink only non-sulfite wines and champanges. I got a pretty violent reaction to a few sips of champagne because of the sulfites. Unfortnately, my family has wine and/or champange with every fancy meal, so I may ask Mom if she can get a non-sulfite wine for Christmas so I don't get sick. That or I can learn how to make cocktails. 

[turtleIScream]

I'm growing a pair, and having the dinner at my house next year. I truly, really, postively love to cook, and I am t.i.r.e.d. of having to go to MILs every danged year and listen to her whiiiiine how tired she is and how much woooork it is, blah, blah, blah. It's a good thing she does nothing outside of play computer games all day; otherwise she might expire from utter exaustion. (no offense to any gamers on here!!)

I'm also tired of not having any of *my* family's traditions; I like presenting the turkey at the table, and using real china, crystal, and flatware. I like to decorate my formal dining room, and I love leftovers, No---correction---I love leftovers.

Yep.

Did my BIL get married? This sounds so familiar! It really is a lot of work to open the packaging on paper plates and plastic forks.

Next holiday dinner, we will go in with a plan for meals throughout our stay. I am normally not a fan of leftovers in general, and definitely not two meals in a row. Especially when the original meal is lackluster.

[AylaM]

Never assume the host is providing the "staples".

Usually our host makes the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes.  I thought it was a rule. 

Apparently it is not.

I found a new recipe for sweet potatoes I wanted to bring.  Didn't because that was the host's job.  Wish I had.  There were no sweet potatoes.

Sad.

Is it possible the host doesn't consider sweet potatoes a staple?  I dont. I never have had them at TG in Canada or the US.

She probably didn't.  She and another aunt are both non-natives.  They tend to make non-Thankgivingy dishes.  Good food.  But not something that says "THANKSGIVING!!!" in my mind.  I dug into an orange dish that I assumed was sweet potatoes and once it was on my plate it was very apparent that it was a taco dish.

And that is why I decided to assume nothing about the meal next year.  Most of my Thanksgivings have been with this family.  I can't recall ever going to somewhere further out (on the family tree) than mom's cousin's house.  It just seemed that the host always made the sweet potatoes along with the other common dishes like turkey and stuffing.  So, as I said, I assumed it was the done thing.

[kherbert05]

I tried sweet potatoes for the first time, because they didn't have nuts on them. (I'm not allergic but my aunt tended to buy cheaper nuts that I didn't trust to not be cross contaminated with peanuts in the factory).

[sparksals]

Bite your tongue!  Sweet potatoes are a must!!  Casserole, bread, pie...does not matter, have had it with all.
The only debates are nuts vs. marshmallows?
 

Glad your post is tongue in cheek because casserole is also not a staple.  No casserole is served at my TG.  US or Canada.


 

[RegionMom]

Sweet potato casserole is almost the same as sweet potato pie, just minus the crust.  We tried a new recipe this year, with a brown sugar glaze on top.  MMmmm!!  Yes, it was served as a side dish, but I dare say it was as sweet at the desserts!

For next year, I would be sure to check on drink choices-we were offered only water or an Asti  (? I do not drink) champagne.  Egg nog and coffee were only for dessert.  Might ask if I could make tea for next year. 

Note-we finally finished most of the leftovers today.  Hurray!

I walked/jogged over three miles today, and am still hesitant to step on a scale.  But I feel happy and full and most of the leftover containers are washed and ready to return to friend.  So, bring on Monday-I am ready! 

[dietcokeofevil]

For my DH's family we normally rotate hosting between our house and his brother's house.  2 years ago it was my turn to host.  My mother had been fighting cancer for 2 years at that point and we had just found out a couple of weeks prior that she was terminal.  Two days before Thanksgiving she was admitted to the hospital so they could get her pain meds adjusted.   My Dad was staying with us to be closer and we had a couple of middle of the night trips to the hospital when Mom stopped breathing.  My in-laws were fully aware what was going on and no one offered to host or even to just bring a few of the side dishes.  I ended up doing making 2 meals - one for my family on Thanksgiving Day and one for DH's family on Friday.  My mother passed away on Saturday.   I was just in such a get it done mode that it didn't occur to me until afterwards that DH's family didn't even offer to help when I had parents of my daughter's friends offering to cook for me.

Then last year it was BIL and SIL's turn to host. SIL had to work a 12 hour shift on Thanksgiving Day and we would be having our meal at Noon on Friday.  There was much discussion about how'd she be able to fix everything, so I ended up making all the desserts, most of the sides, and an appetizer.  I think SIL was left with basically the Turkey and maybe one or two other dishes that didn't require much cooking.  We arrive to their house to discover that while SIL had to work on Thanksgiving, she was actually off the rest of the week, so she'd cooked the Turkey a couple of days prior and just warmed it up in the crockpot.  I'm like what the heck was I doing getting up early to make all these dishes only to find out she hadn't been cooking.  I was pretty ticked.

This year was my turn to host again, and I put my foot down.  I made all the food, because I'm tired of people showing up with stuff that needs to be cooked still, or it's cooked but they didn't bring anything to serve it on, or I can't make what I like because they want to bring their sweet potato recipe.  I refused to play the meal time game.  My FIL always gets left out because he works a job with weird days/hours.  MIL will always agree to a time, then we'll find out that day that FIL has to work so he'll either be late or have to leave right after the meal.    So this year I made DH call his Dad and get the time that would work for him instead of just trusting MIL.   I was really happy with how everything turned out, the food was great, we all sat down to eat together and we all had a good time.

And my plan for next year is to not host.  I'll leave it to BIL and SIL and I'm not bringing the entire meal with me.  I'll contribute a side and a dessert and that's it.

[jedikaiti]

Buy at least 10 pounds of potatoes, if DF and I are bringing mashed potatoes to 2 dinners again.

Plan on a 2nd* dinner at home the weekend after - we went to a friend's house, and had all the essentials, but not enough for much leftovers. Think barely a day's worth per person. It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving unless I'm eating leftover turkey and stuffing until at least Sunday. I want to feel like I got some mileage out of all that prep work!

Make Mom's oyster stuffing. I am having a MAJOR craving for that now!

I may just go ahead and make my Mom's cranberry salad, though. And some cranberry sauce - I found a recipe in a magazine long ago that calls for tawny port wine and star anise and is GREAT when mixed with lowfat vanilla yogurt. Hm, where did I put that recipe?

*OK, 3rd, as a friend hosts a pre-Tday turducken feast for friends a few days before the Big Day

[sparksals]

Maybe a regional thing?  Sweet potatoes are as required as turkey around here.  Plain or nuts, IMNSHO.

Most definitely. It is not hard and fast as specified in previous posts.   Just like I never heard of green bean casserole until I came to the US, yet, I have been to many places for US TG dinner and never had it. 

[sparksals]

I'm growing a pair, and having the dinner at my house next year. I truly, really, postively love to cook, and I am t.i.r.e.d. of having to go to MILs every danged year and listen to her whiiiiine how tired she is and how much woooork it is, blah, blah, blah. It's a good thing she does nothing outside of play computer games all day; otherwise she might expire from utter exaustion. (no offense to any gamers on here!!)

I'm also tired of not having any of *my* family's traditions; I like presenting the turkey at the table, and using real china, crystal, and flatware. I like to decorate my formal dining room, and I love leftovers, No---correction---I love leftovers.

Yep.

Your post made me think of the Football Feudin' thread... wondering if the SIL who wants football on is like you.  She has to spend TG with her spouse's side of the family and the one tradition she loves is not enjoyed by the others, but no one thinks to try to include at least some tradition important to her.  I don't know if that is the case, but your post made me think of that thread.

I can see how it would be frustrating not having your traditions acknowledged.

[jedikaiti]

Maybe a regional thing?  Sweet potatoes are as required as turkey around here.  Plain or nuts, IMNSHO.

I've never known a T-day feast without them, but I thought the ones with marshmallows were only in the movies until quite recently. I still can't figure out why anyone would put marshmallows on top, but the folks I know who do that say they're wonderful.

You know what? I think one year, hopefully after DF & I have had our wedding (next year!) and bought a house, we'll be able to REALLY host Thanksgiving. Just have some friends &/or family over for dinner, do the whole meal ourselves (my dream kitchen includes 2 wall ovens), and everyone else can just bring drinks or appetizers (it's SOP with most of our friends that everyone contributes to group meals, be it with some of the food, some beer or wine, or even (occasionally) some cash to offset the cost of the yummies) And the person who is hosting isn't always the person bringing most of the food. Yea, a little odd, but it works for us. :-)

[norrina]

For a variety of reasons, I don't foresee the change actually occurring, but I like to fantasize that Thanksgiving 2013 will not fall quite so heavily on MY shoulders.

Thanksgiving 2011 I was in my final year of law school, and exams were scheduled to begin less than a week after Thanksgiving. It was going to be just me and DF for the holiday, so I told him that if he wanted turkey and all the fixings he would need to make it happen himself, because I just wasn't going to be up to it in the frenzy of preparing for exams. But at the last minute his father, whom I had not met yet, invited himself to our place for Thanksgiving, and since I wanted to make a good impression on a parent I was meeting for the first time, I ended up preparing a full spread, including homemade rolls and homemade bread for stuffing. DF did help, and my studies ended up not being as intense as I had anticipated, but it still was definitely a stressful couple days.

This year, we knew ahead of time that we would be having Thanksgiving with his mother, it was just a question of our house or hers. In the end it was decided on to be at ours. So as the hosts I expected that we would prepare the full menu, and that was fine. Where I got aggravated though was that I ended up preparing the turkey, gravy, and a pie, and supervising FSS while he made one side because he's only 11 and just learning to cook, then DF made two sides, and FMIL made one side, but even though I did the most time/labor intensive part of the meal I somehow ended up doing a significant portion of the clean-up too. Probably I needed to speak up and ask for help, but as much as I love FMIL she has a passive-agressive tendency that is very easy to trigger so sometimes it's easier to just not risk it. (And even though I would have been asking DF and FSS for the help, that doesn't necessarily mean it wouldn't somehow morph into a trigger for FMIL.)

[camlan]

Next year, there will be a chocolate dessert. I'm tired of desserts I don't really like at Thanksgiving--pie is not my favorite food. We'll still have pie, just not so many pies. If someone feels really strongly about having a particular pie, he can make it himself.

Next year, anyone who changes the temperature of the oven while I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner in said oven will be a) banished from the kitchen and b) hosting Thanksgiving the following year.

Next year, anyone who complains that a dish is slightly over-or-under cooked will be making that dish the following year (see "changing the oven temperature" for details).