Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Extreme dietary restrictions

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Luci:

--- Quote from: SiotehCat on November 25, 2012, 06:42:33 PM ---My DH eats a very strict diet that he absolutely cannot modify in any way.

When invited for dinner, he eats before or after and just spends the time doing a lot of socializing.

--- End quote ---

It makes me very uncomfortable to be eating a meal and having someone just sitting there with a glass of water. I much prefer my guests bring out the plastic containers and eat with us.

You have my sympathy, though. I have seen what hoops my sister-in-law has to go through for her family. She just loves to come here for dinner to get 'real food', after she has cooked and packed for her family, probably putting in as much effort as I do as hostess. They live 2 hours away, so wouldl still end up eating pack food in the car if not with us.

SiotehCat:

--- Quote from: Luci45 on November 25, 2012, 09:16:16 PM ---
--- Quote from: SiotehCat on November 25, 2012, 06:42:33 PM ---My DH eats a very strict diet that he absolutely cannot modify in any way.

When invited for dinner, he eats before or after and just spends the time doing a lot of socializing.

--- End quote ---

It makes me very uncomfortable to be eating a meal and having someone just sitting there with a glass of water. I much prefer my guests bring out the plastic containers and eat with us.

You have my sympathy, though. I have seen what hoops my sister-in-law has to go through for her family. She just loves to come here for dinner to get 'real food', after she has cooked and packed for her family, probably putting in as much effort as I do as hostess. They live 2 hours away, so wouldl still end up eating pack food in the car if not with us.

--- End quote ---

And that's fine too. We think its insulting to our hostess for him to bring his own food. The majority of the meal is about the socializing, so it doesn't seem that weird that he's not eating.

oz diva:
I would be fine if someone bought their own food. In fact it would make life so much easier. If I were you, I'd let your host know beforehand though. Otherwise they may go to a great deal of trouble preparing something you can eat.

WillyNilly:
I think bringing food is fine, but just have a chat with your hosts before hand.  And if someone wants to make you something and they communicate they understand your restrictions, if you trust them, let them.  If I invite someone over I really don't mind making brand X grain in distilled water or pulverized seeds, or whatever weird thing.  No I don't want to cook it or eat it every day, but if I invite my friend over for a meal, really its not so difficult to make at least a dish or two that's acceptable to them just that one day.  I once hosted a dinner for 8 that had enough options for a full meal for a vegetarian, a person with Candida, and a lactose intolerant person.  I wouldn't eat all those options regularly but honestly everyone could enjoy almost everything and it wasn't a huge deal to me to make a special meal, because it was a dinner party - I was going to make a special meal to begin with! So I just made the most special versions of the restricted foods (for example, if you constantly stir a grain while cooking it, it gets a creamier texture without any additives - its the 'special way' to make plain rice/millet/quinoa/whatever) and planned around it.

But if someone doesn't offer or can't be trusted to get it rice, feel free to bring a dish.  Just wait a minute or two, to make sure you can't have anything there, and just discreetly pull out a tupperware.  Best if its discreetly done, no big production and if asked just smile and say "oh my gosh I'm on this crazy diet so I can never enjoy anything out, it looks great but for now, this is me" with a bit of a shrug and a conversation topic ready to spring "but anyway, weren't you saying something about vacation earlier?  Tell me more." If you act casual, people will respond casually.

Deetee:
Just bring your own food and tell the host it's a medical diet. I am pretty good at accommodating various restrictions ( vvegetarian. Vegan, Muslim, etc.. ) but I prefer to cook something similar for everyone and I am not comfortable with allergies or anything where an inadvertent error could make someone ill.

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