The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23

[CaptainObvious]

Actually, it might mean nobody got anything.  If the store's terms were that they were donating a dinner but it had to be picked up by Thursday - and nobody had made any arrangements then it might look like there would be no turkey dinner. 

OP's sis was not a member of the church so it is possible they didn't have her name or contact info to ask if she was getting the dinner. I am not saying it was handled in the best way, just that I have never heard of her approach either so they may have been confused as to what her intentions were.

My understanding is that the Church Lady is the one who set the time restriction, not the deli.

Having been to auctions like these, most items are donated by businesses or other private donors and the restrictions are from the donors.

I was replying to your use of the bolded words. From what the OP wrote, the Deli had not imposed the restriction, the Church Lady did.

[LazyDaisy]

My sister shared this with me and I was just curious what others thought of what happened with this situation.

She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions.  She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later).  (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.)  One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50.  She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it.  Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. 

After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday.  Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up.  She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager.  The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about.  Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this.  She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about.

The manager called her back, and this is where it gets a bit wild.  Apparently, my sister's turkey dinner had been picked up already by someone else!  The manager said that some other lady had been calling all day, wondering if the dinner (my sister's dinner) had been picked up yet.  When it hadn't been picked up by a certain time, this other lady came and picked it up herself!

My sister's take on it was that this lady is the one who donated the item to the church auction (I don't know if she knew this for sure or was supposing).  The other lady was counting on nobody picking up the dinner, basically hedging her bets, hence the specificity of the type of dinner and the short time frame for picking it up.  That's why it wasn't done in the 'typical' way (the $50 gift card), b/c then she'd have no way of potentially getting it back if she'd just donated the gift card.  So my sister was out her money AND her dinner.

I asked what my sister was going to do.  She hadn't done anything yet b/c she was really busy on Friday.  Personally, I think a bit of public shaming would be in order, and that my sister should call the church and explain the situation, and request that they ask that the Turkey lady actually provide to my sister what she donated, or give my sister back her money.  Perhaps my sister could overlook the large 'donation' to the church and just write it off if it were her own church, but this is a different one.  I thought if the Turkey lady was going to going to try to get the goodwill for her actions AND eat my sister's dinner, then she should be called out on her actions.  And to do this to a church?  Really?

So, what do you all think of that?  I thought it was pretty shady and conniving of Turkey lady, personally.

We have no idea if there is indeed a Church Lady Donor, that was just Sister's guess. Everyone at the auction saw that the item was up for bidding so anyone, such as a losing bidder, organizer, or someone from the local food bank or soup kitchen, could have been the one to pick it up. Or the deli manager could be making up the whole story altogether of another woman picking up the dinner.

[sweetonsno]

Your sister absolutely needs to take action, but she should tread very lightly here. Because this was another church, she probably has no way of knowing for sure how the auction was organized. The donor might not be the only person who knew the exact terms of the item. Someone else may have stolen it. Someone may have been worried that the dinner would go to waste (that would explain the repeated calls to see if anyone had picked it up yet) and decided to claim it, either for themselves or a family in need. Obviously, it would be better to call the winner, but who knows whether or not they had that information? Basically, there are a number of possible explanations for what happened.

Your sister should call the church, yes, but she should not make a direct accusation unless she is 100% sure that it was the Turkey lady who did this. (Say, the deli manager shows her a signed receipt with Turkey Lady's signature.) Your sister should stick to the facts. When she gets in touch with the person in charge, she can say something like: "I bid on and won the turkey dinner from X deli at the charity auction last week. When I called to claim it, the deli manager seemed to be confused about it. I faxed him the coupon and he called back, telling me that somebody else had already claimed it. Apparently, another woman had been calling to see if it had been picked up. I'm not sure if there has been some sort of misunderstanding. Was there more than one turkey dinner available and the deli had a mix-up?" In short, your sister should try to figure out what happened before suggesting one solution. It would not be appropriate to ask that the donor reimburse her if it turns out that one of the organizers (or someone else who bid on the dinner) was at fault for stealing it.

[doodlemor]

Don't people get arrested for shoplifting things of lesser value than this?  Perhaps if she called the police they would check it out.  Don't most deli's have security cameras?  It seems like it shouldn't be too hard to find out what happened to the dinner.

[Sharnita]

Yes, she doesn't go to this church so to assume she knows who donated this dinner, that it was the same person who got the dinenr and then to "shame" that person?  I suppose maybe in a relaly small community you might know everybody so weel you might know almost certainly but do you really want to public shame people even on "almost certainly"?  And it doesn't sound like it is really all that certain but rather pretty speculative.

As far as who knows the terms - the donor, the organizer, church secretary, another bidder who took a close look ...

[Sharnita]

Don't people get arrested for shoplifting things of lesser value than this?  Perhaps if she called the police they would check it out.  Don't most deli's have security camera's?  It seems like it shouldn't be too hard to find out what happened to the dinner.

It doens't sound like the caller was deceptive, though.  It almost sounds like the called and called and finally asked if they could claim the turkey since the bidder had not thus far.

[lowspark]

I think that's making things too complicated. These are the facts.
1. sis bid on and won a turkey dinner with certain restrictions.
2. she called the deli in time to meet those restrictions.
3. the deli refused to honor her coupon.

It's really not Sis's responsibility to chase down the deli manager beyond this for any more details. He said he wouldn't honor it. End of story. It's now the church's responsibility to figure out why. They auctioned off a coupon and the coupon turned out to be no good. For whatever reason. Now they need to give Sis back her money and then resolve it in whatever way they see fit with the deli or whoever else may have been involved.

[Girlie]

When I worked at a grocery store, we had a deli that did Thanksgiving dinners - they would sell a cooked turkey, two or three sides, rolls, and a gallon of sweet tea. Is it possible that it was a prepared meal as such? If so, then the deli probably would have needed prior knowledge as to WHEN to have the meal ready. If that was the case, then it may not have been the donator's time restrictions at all, but the store's.

All that to say, if someone knew the time limit on being able to pick up the order, then it is entirely possible that they honestly thought that the OP's sister wasn't wanting the dinner that she'd bought, and he/she/it didn't want it to be wasted.

Since the conversation with the store has been over for a few days, I see nothing wrong with contacting the church and asking for the donation back. If it were me, however, I'd probably write it off as a donation and a lesson learned.

[Slartibartfast]

Is this grocery store way out of her normal route?  If not, I would go in person (with the coupon) and ask to see the manager and find out exactly what was going on.  It's possible that someone else picked up her dinner - or there wasn't one reserved in the first place, or the coupon was bogus and the manager just made a wild guess about the situation because he wasn't in the loop.  It's possible that the store is the donor of the coupon in the first place, in which case they were responsible for saying "Arrangements must be made 24 hours in advance" if that was indeed the case.

If and only if the store brushes her off and says "not our problem" should she go to the church.  I'd be afraid that if she went to the church first, they'd say "it's the store's fault" and she'd be left being tossed between the store and the church anyway.

[Sharnita]

Actually, I don't think it is the church's responsibility - I think it is the deli's responsibility to meet the obligation.  They did not have to give away the dinner, they apparently chose to do so.  When the actual bidder called in within the deadline but after they gave away the dinner they had the obligation to live up to their repsonsiblity to her, regardless of the early decision they made of their free will. 

[wildkitty]

So wait a minute... first, the deli manager claims ignorance of a prepared turkey dinner until being presented with the actual certificate. Suddenly this same manager claims someone else had been calling about the exact same turkey dinner all day, the same dinner the manager knew nothing about. And now it had already picked up by someone else? Something is fishy.

[Yvaine]

So wait a minute... first, the deli manager claims ignorance of a prepared turkey dinner until being presented with the actual certificate. Suddenly this same manager claims someone else had been calling about the exact same turkey dinner all day, the same dinner the manager knew nothing about. And now it had already picked up by someone else? Something is fishy.

My best guess--and this is just speculation--is that Zilla is correct and that the donor hung on to her receipt from when she first spent the money to buy the dinner she planned to donate. This is also why I think it's the donor who snagged the dinner--because I see it as way more likely that the deli would release the dinner to a woman who had a receipt saying she bought it than to just some random person with no receipt or gift certificate. And the deli got confused somewhere along the way.

[Bijou]

I'm thinking that someone really wanted that dinner maybe had also bid on it and had no other thanksgiving possibility so when it had not been picked up by a certain time, went in and claimed it, probably with no verification except, "I'm picking up a dinner from the church auction."

[Hmmmmm]

I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation. 

[Sharnita]

I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation.

How would they do that? I mean, do they hire a private detective to track down the person who got the turkey?  Why would this be their responsiblity and not the store's?