Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.
For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater. It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.
Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given. And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline. His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.
Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.
Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?
Because when she donated the item to the church (i.e. "gave the gift"), it ceased being hers. She lost all claim to it. Period.
Yes, this. At that point, expired or not, wasted or not, whether Sis ate it or fed it to her cats or ritually burned it, the one thing that is absolutely for sure is that Turkey Lady does not receive it
. Let's take Sis trying to claim it completely out of the equation. If it goes to waste at the store or the employees eat it so it won't get thrown out, it still does not revert to Turkey Lady. It isn't hers anymore, morally. Legally it might be, as she paid for it, never told them it was for an auction, and it was in her name (though her giving it to the church might make it legally not-hers too). But morally, ethically, and etiquettely, it is not her turkey anymore and she doesn't get to take it back.