General Etiquette > Life...in general

Addressing cards

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half_dollars:
My specific question is about addressing Christmas cards, but I believe it pertains to generic cards, too.  I'd like to get ideas on how others address their cards.

I have most of my communication with friends and family through electronic means - Facebook, email, texts.  I do send physical cards for family birthdays, and also at Christmas.

Most of the people who receive a Christmas card from us are those who we communicate with throughout the year.  But, I have a few people/couples/families/acquaintances that the only time we hear from each other is through the Christmas card.  No big deal.  Everyone who does receive a card has had some sort of relationship with us at one time or another.  I love seeing pics of 2nd cousin's kiddos, hearing about a previous neighbors' vacation, or whatever they add in their little note in their card.

However, I realized last year that my previous neighbors are getting older.  I lived next to them 14 years ago, in an area that I am not physically close to at all.  (They were in their mid-to-late 60's when we lived next door to each other.)  I debated how to address their envelope, because I was worried of causing pain by writing "Mr & Mrs" if one of them had passed away during the year.  I did a quick google-search, tried a search through the local newspaper's online obituaries, and didn't find anything, but I did receive their card the same day I was addressing mine, so it worked out.

Well, we're back at holiday card time again.  So, I was curious to read about how others deal with a situation like this.  (My extended family didn't know my (then) neighbors, so they wouldn't know to tell me if they saw the obituary.)  I'm sure there are other options I haven't though of.  And its entirely possible I'm missing something totally simple and obvious.  My mind hasn't been working the greatest lately, due to a high amount of stress and a huge lack of sleep.

CakeEater:
I don't think it's a problem to address the card to both as usual. It's not your fault if you unintentionally cause a small amount of pain - I'm sure it wouldn't be held against you.

WillyNilly:
Address it as you always have. Might one have passed? Sure anything is possible. But the surviving one won't think "wow what an insensative clod!" They'll think something like "oh. I should let Half Dollars know. Maude always like Half Dollars, she was a sweet neighbor..."

Death happens, its sad and all, but it is what it is and life goes on. So go on doing as you've done until informed otherwise.

Thipu1:
Mr. Thipu and I agree that, lacking information about a person passing, Holiday cards should be addressed in the usual way. 

Last year, we sent a card to a couple and learned from their card that one of them had died. 

Handling this is a simple thing.  You receive the sad information.  You send a little note of condolence.  You change the address on your card list and life goes on.   

Raintree:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on November 27, 2012, 08:05:12 AM ---Address it as you always have. Might one have passed? Sure anything is possible. But the surviving one won't think "wow what an insensative clod!" They'll think something like "oh. I should let Half Dollars know. Maude always like Half Dollars, she was a sweet neighbor..."

Death happens, its sad and all, but it is what it is and life goes on. So go on doing as you've done until informed otherwise.

--- End quote ---

Exactly. My father continued to receive mail, including Christmas cards, addressed to him and his wife, after she passed away. Our reaction? "Oh, I guess we haven't informed So-and-so yet." No biggie. There are little reminders everywhere anyway, and one incorrectly addressed Christmas card (for us) didn't really cause any additional pain.

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