General Etiquette > Holidays

Xmas card--dad in basement

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Lynn2000:
My cousin and his wife separated a couple years ago. I don't know their current legal status or plans. Last year at this time, my cousin was living in an apartment on his own; I sent him a Christmas card, and I sent a separate one to the kids and their mom, who were still living in the family home.

A few months ago my cousin moved back into the family home and is living in the basement. I gather this was because he couldn't afford to have his own apartment (not necessarily indicating any reconciliation). And I'm wondering what to do about the Christmas card this year.

A couple years ago, when they were still together, I wrote "the Smith family" on the envelope. Then, inside the card, I wrote everyone's first name--"Bob, Betty, Sammy, Susie." I don't really write notes inside the cards so putting people's names on is how I personalize them.

Obviously this family has more to worry about than my Christmas card, but I would like to find a solution that would (likely) cause them the least awkwardness/discomfort possible. One card with all names? Two cards? One card with no names? Other things I haven't thought of yet?

CakeEater:
I'd suggest two cards. Regardless of location, the family is still living separately.

stitchygreyanonymouse:
I second the two card suggestion.

Furthering that, I would add the kids names to both cards. So, one to dad and kids, one to mom and kids.

Lynn2000:
Interesting, thanks for the suggestions. I had initially felt that the two-card solution was the most likely to highlight the family division (thus be the most awkward), so I'm glad for the perspectives otherwise.

rashea:
I'd do two cards, but put the kids on both of them. That might help take the sting out of it.

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