Here's an old story that still has me stunned that it happened to me. Especially as I learned pretty young how to be politely assertive, and rarely have trouble standing up for myself.
My niece was getting married. My mother had passed not too long ago. One out of town family group invited was the family of widowed "Aunt Betty" who had 6 children, all adults, all but one of them with spouses and billions of offspring. Some of the adult children could make it, others not. One who could not make it has 3 young children.
In years past, whenever there was a wedding or something, relatives were put up at my Mom's large home. Obviously this was not possible in this case. My siblings and I worked out who could accommodate who. I specifically arranged to have aunt, childless cousin, and the service dog they were training stay with me, along with their pet dog. I'm not nuts about very young children, and my childed siblings were better equipped to handle the onslaught of KinderKiddies. I was better prepared for 2 adult women and 2 dogs. Even though my home was small, I had room for 2 other adults and some dogs. Aunt is very religious and lives very differently from me, but we've always had dogs in common. This isn't going to be a barrel of laughs, but it will be ok.
So the relatives are divided. I get a call from Aunt when they are 2 hours from my home saying that they will be there soon and - guess what? They have 3 young children with them! The 3 young children of one of the cousins who can't make it. I am flabbergasted. I say, "But, you don't understand! There is no room!" They say "oh , don't worry, we brought sleeping bags, we're used to sleeping wherever!" Well, yes, my evil thoughts say, your family breeds tends to be fruitful and multiply, with exponents and everything, so YOU'RE used to sleeping stacked on top of each other but... I'M not used to it, and this is MY house, and it's SMALL!" (Not even letting myself think, "and I ARRANGED IT so no babies or toddlers would be here!") Every objection I raise, they just laugh off. Like aren't I just so silly not to realize that 6 people and 3 large dogs and 2 cats, plus some assorted kiddie crap, can live comfortably in a teeny 2 bedroom condo that is kinda small for ONE person! Which they haven't even SEEN so how can they keep saying "oh there will be room."
All my plans of who sleeps where (I had to work one of the days they were here, so me being able to get up and tiptoe around them was a factor) that had been so carefully worked out for maximum convenience and comfort were thrown out the window.
I was just too shocked to do what I should have done, and next thing I knew, I couldn't even open the door of my office (spare bedroom) for a foldable kiddie playpen thing. For 3 days I can't move because there is not one square inch of floor space uncovered. Not to mention, there are baby things and baby smells and potty chairs and oh I hate to even remember what all, all over the place. They bring a BABY, a 2 year old, and another one that was maybe 4. The only good thing in this is that the mobile kids are well behaved and don't run around like little banshees, aunt and cousin are very attentive and watch them and so that's ok but- OH MY.
Aunt tells me later that they "had" to bring those kids because she thought their mother had post partum or something and they were worried about the kids with her. OK- why didn't you worry about ME with them? I didn't choose to give birth to THREE of the things, reckon how I feel being overrun with a houseful of them. Not to make light of post partum but geeze, foist them off on people who don't want them so their mother won't kill them? If you're that worried, here's an idea- DECLINE THE INVITATION, even if it means missing a nice family reunion in another town.
They later showed up for the wedding and held the baby at the exact right spot so that it's cries could be heard over the vows niece and her husband were trying to take.
You know, I tried and tried to give aunt the benefit of the doubt, thinking my mother would rise from the grave and slap me if I was rude or ungracious but then I kept thinking how my mother also had a very low tolerance for rudeness. I still don't know if I did the right thing or not, but I know good and well my aunt didn't!