General Etiquette > Life...in general

S/O Addressing Cards

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Army Mom:
I didn't want to derail the other thread but I'm wondering if I've done this properly.

BG. A and B have been married 20+ years. As such, I've always addressed the Christmas card to Mr and Mrs Lastname. Not long ago, Mr Lastname had gender reassignment surgery and is known socially by a new female first name, C.

So how does one properly address a card? Legally they are still Mr & Mrs but that feels rude. Last year I left off the prefixes altogether and just used "C & B Lastname". Normally I'm more formal on cards but....

If it makes a difference, I believe C is rather sensitive about people not being accepting. We're not close, distant step-relatives actually, but I want to wish them a happy holiday season without offense! Am I way over thinking this?

WillyNilly:
Personally I think "C & B Lastname" is perfectly appropriate for a holiday card.  Probably Mrs & Mrs or Ms & Ms would be fine too.  But honestly, why not just ask at some point?  If C is sensitive of people not being accepting, asking a question that demonstrates you are accepting and want to be polite would probably be welcome.

Yvaine:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on November 27, 2012, 10:52:26 PM ---Personally I think "C & B Lastname" is perfectly appropriate for a holiday card. 

--- End quote ---

Me too. Especially if you're on a first name basis with them the rest of the time, kwim? I've never defaulted to Ms./Mr./Mrs./Miss when sending a card to people who I call Mary or Mike the rest of the year. The titles really only get dusted off for the ones I send out from our office to business contacts.

Thipu1:
We've never encountered the Transgendered question but we have sent cards to couples with different surnames for many years.  We just drop the honorifics. 

Instead of sending cards to 'Mr. And Mrs. Jones', we address cards to 'Mary Doe and John Roe'. We've never had a problem with this and it should work with a Transgendered couple. 

violinp:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on November 27, 2012, 10:52:26 PM ---Personally I think "C & B Lastname" is perfectly appropriate for a holiday card.  Probably Mrs & Mrs or Ms & Ms would be fine too.  But honestly, why not just ask at some point?  If C is sensitive of people not being accepting, asking a question that demonstrates you are accepting and want to be polite would probably be welcome.

--- End quote ---

This is what I would do. It clears up misunderstandings and makes things less awkward.

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