General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Coworker, will you be my maid of honor?

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I'm asking this for a friend of mine.

My friend has worked with a girl for almost 10 years that has been married 3 times. She doesn't hang out with the girl past work. This girl is working on getting married for the fourth time. She doesn't have a ring yet because "it's in layaway" so to me, this is a little jumping the gun. She has been with a guy for about 8 months.

She asked my friend to be her maid of honor, even though this girl has two grown daughters who I'm sure would love to be in that role. My friend doesnt know what to say and is a little uncomfortable with the idea of it. I told her to not say anything until the girl has a ring and it's for sure. Maybe even wait until she asks her about it again.

Any other advice?

"Jane, I am SO honored that you thought of me.

I always hate to make plans like this so early in the planning process--so much can happen.
Why don't we wait and if, once you have set a date and have a timeline, you ask at that point"

(my cynical side wonders if a coworker would be more able to fund pre-wedding parties than her daughters couldd)

Your friend could say "Thank you for the honor, but I'm afraid I have to decline".  If her coworker pushes for a reason I would stick with "It's just not possible".

Dawbs is correct, and I'm glad someone else said that about the parties  ::).

That's if she asks again. I take it your friend demurred somehow. I would tell her to not bring it up, but if coworker asks again, go with Dawbs.

Sadly from the history of 3 weddings, I would guess that daughters and maybe other friends have already indicated they wouldn't love to be in wedding #4 for whatever reason -- don't like the "fiance", tired of doing it, or Coworker is the biggest bridezilla whenever she gets married. BeagleMommy's wording is good. Don't give any excuses that can be argued with.


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