I'm also raising an eyebrow at the assumptions being made here that because this is her 4th wedding she must not be serious about it. I know someone whose first husband died young, the second husband was a mistake made because she really thought she should be married, her 3rd husband passed away and she is seriously dating someone now who she will probably marry. Two of her three marriages would have been forever and ever except her husbands died. Unless she's 25 and this is her 4th marriage, I think the judgement may not be fair.
POD. This is pretty close to my own story. I would hate to think people do not wish me well simply because my marriages have ended in divorce (one, he cheated) and death (one, suicide). I am seriously dating
again and will likely be married three times before I am 40 - I sincerely hope this one is forever, as I did with my previous marriages. I kept my vows, my husbands did not. It is presumptuous to condemn a person who has experienced significant pain in relationships
as the woman in the OP undoubtably has. It may have been due to horrible decisions she made that she has been married three times and is now heading into a fourth. It may have been horrible things that happened to her. Either way, I think it is sad to judge her.
That said, I cannot imagine why someone getting married a fourth time would need a maid of honor at all. I've been married twice and never had any wedding party at all - just me and my husband, both times. I cannot imagine I would have one this next time either.