Author Topic: My work's holiday plans  (Read 5249 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2012, 07:30:25 AM »
Why can't you simply say, "I'm going to have to skip the gift exchange; I can't afford it"?

Frankly, I'm not sure I'd assume that the gift exchange is mandatory, even if nothing was specifically said about it. Don't buy a gift, and don't take one--that's really the only important thing. Say something quietly to the person putting the names in the hat (you don't even have to give a reason)--"I'm not going to do the gift exchange, so be sure to leave my name out."
   If there's no name-in-the-hat, then just don't bring one, and when it comes time, say quietly, "Oh, I didn't do the gift exchange," and position yourself to not take a gift.

MamaMootz

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2012, 07:37:50 AM »
Why can't you simply say, "I'm going to have to skip the gift exchange; I can't afford it"?

Frankly, I'm not sure I'd assume that the gift exchange is mandatory, even if nothing was specifically said about it. Don't buy a gift, and don't take one--that's really the only important thing. Say something quietly to the person putting the names in the hat (you don't even have to give a reason)--"I'm not going to do the gift exchange, so be sure to leave my name out."
   If there's no name-in-the-hat, then just don't bring one, and when it comes time, say quietly, "Oh, I didn't do the gift exchange," and position yourself to not take a gift.

I usually agree with you, Toots, but not in this case. I would be embarrassed by having to decline due to lack of funds and I'm sure I'm not the only one who would be. It's none of my employer's business what my financial situation is, and I would not want to share this info with them. Honestly, BB should not be putting his employees in this position in the first place by making this mandatory. I would probably be "sick" the day of the party, if he forced the issue with me.
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TootsNYC

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2012, 12:50:09 PM »
so skip the "i can't afford it" and just say, quietly, "Oh, I'm not going to do the gift exchange."

MamaMootz

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2012, 01:23:35 PM »
To which he will ask "why not?"
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Kiara

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2012, 01:36:24 PM »
To which you reply again "I'm not going to do the gift exchange."

No need to JADE with the boss, either.

kudeebee

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2012, 01:45:01 PM »
I don't see the big deal with the potluck.  A lot of offices/schools celebrate the holidays this way.  Not every office/company has a dinner provided for them free of charge.  Everyone is bringing a dish to share and you are being given company time to enjoy the meal.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy.

Now the mandatory gift exchange is another thing.  That should have been made optional, but it wasn't stated that way.  You can find a lot of gifts at a big discount this time of year, you can probably pick up a $10 retail value gift for $4 or 5, maybe less.  If you don't participate, you could be labeled as not being a team player.

I guess you will have to decide how far you are willing to push this issue and what the future ramifications will be.  Only you can decide what the course of action you choose--participate or not, try to boycott or not, etc--is worth to you and your future job stability.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 03:04:58 PM by kudeebee »

Kaypeep

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2012, 01:53:13 PM »
To which he will ask "why not?"

"I"m afraid it's not possible.  Now if you'll excuse me, I see Betty over there with pics of her grandkids and I'd love to see them!"

CakeBeret

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2012, 02:04:28 PM »
I wouldn't have a problem with the potluck. If money is tight, it's easy to whip up a loaf of nice French or ciabatta bread for under $1.

I would contribute something small to the gift exchange. Get a holiday mug from the thrift store or $1 store and add some candy.

I think that being seen as a team player and a contributor can be important, even if your employer is wrong to ask it of you.
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MamaMootz

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2012, 02:51:34 PM »
I don't have a real issue with the potluck, either - but I do with everything being mandatory.
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magicdomino

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2012, 05:07:53 PM »
I don't see the big deal with the potluck.  A lot of offices/schools celebrate the holidays this way.  Not every office/company has a dinner provided for them free of charge.  Everyone is bringing a dish to share and you are being given company time to enjoy the meal.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy.

Now the mandatory gift exchange is another thing.  That should have been made optional, but it wasn't stated that way.  You can find a lot of gifts at a big discount this time of year, you can probably pick up a $10 retail value gift for $4 or 5, maybe less.  If you don't participate, you could be labeled as not being a team player.

I guess you will have to decide how far you are willing to push this issue and what the future ramifications will be.  Only you can decide what the course of action you choose--participate or not, try to boycott or not, etc--is worth to you and your future job stability.

I miss my division's holiday potlucks.  The last couple of years, we've had to pay $25 or more per person for hor d'oerves at a sports bar.  At least it is optional.  (I work for a federal agency in the U.S. Parties cannot be funded out of our workplan.  Come to think of it, it wouldn't surprise me if manatory gift exchanges were expressly forbidden as well.)


DavidH

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2012, 05:32:31 PM »
I think your gripes are legitimate, but I don't think there's too much you can do other than participate.  If your boss wants to make this his hill to die on, that's one thing, but I wouldn't pick this. 

The challenge is that it's during working hours, so unless you take the day off, you'd be at work anyway, so why not have a potluck vs. do what you'd ordinarily be doing. Its hard to complain about the time required if it is on the company's time so to speak. 

The cost can be annoying, but you can make an inexpensive dish for a few dollars if you plan, and $10 for a gift isn't that much.  I think it's hard to complain about the cost without coming across as petty since it isn't that much money and you won't need to plan a separate lunch. 

AnnaJ

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Re: My work's holiday plans
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2012, 07:05:59 PM »
I wouldn't have a problem with the potluck. If money is tight, it's easy to whip up a loaf of nice French or ciabatta bread for under $1.

I would contribute something small to the gift exchange. Get a holiday mug from the thrift store or $1 store and add some candy.

I think that being seen as a team player and a contributor can be important, even if your employer is wrong to ask it of you.

I agree with the first sentence but not the gift exchange suggestion.  The suggested range was $10-15 and if I spent that for a gift to put in I'd be disappointed/irritated to get a thrift store coffee mug with candy in exchange.  I think this is an all or nothing thing - either spend the suggested amount of money or don't participate; I would go the 'not participate' route myself if OP can figure out a sufficiently political way to do so.