Question: Opening presents first at your baby shower...Does this look greedy?

[DuchessScrat]

My sister's BFF is throwing her baby shower and I'm one of three co-hosts.  During our planning meeting, her BFF started pushing to have my sister open all of her gifts before doing the games, cake and whatnot.  I voiced my opinion that it may look like a gift grab, but was outvoted.  I've already had a few guests tell me that they felt she was having the shower too early (it's tomorrow and she is due Valentines Day).  She couldn't be talked into waiting till Jan.  Are there any rule regarding this that I could use to make a last minute plea?

Thanks for your time,

Nikki

[mandycorn]

I always expect to see the gifts opened at a shower, so I think that's fine. As a guest, I like to eat while watching the gift opening, so maybe see if you can get them to serve food and cake first.

As far as the timing goes, it might be a little early, but the upcoming holiday season makes it harder to plan anything non-holiday between now and the new year, so I think that's understandable.

[Deetee]

I think it sounds fine both the overall timing and the gift opening. I know a higher than normal percentage of people who had their kids over a month early so I would err on the side of early over late.

[MrsCrazyPete]

I think having the shower now is fine. Its hard to plan a baby shower when the mom is due early in the year. My BFF was due the end of January so I threw her shower the weekend after Thanksgiving.

I would encourage them to have the mom open her gifts at the end. Have everyone play a quick game, then do the food. After everyone is seated again, play a game that helps everyone pay attention to the gifts being opened, like gift bingo. This way if someone has to leave early, they've eaten and participated in the shower, not just watched their gift been opened. Ive been to some showers where the gift opening has gone on for almost two hours and that is a LONG TIME.

At the very least, make sure the guests have their food to eat while watching the gift opening.

[rigs32]

As long as mom realizes that no one wants to spend 80% of the shower time watching her open gifts, you're good.

I attended a bridal shower last year that was torturous.  The bride took 2.5 hours to open gifts.  She even took a break to go smoke in the middle because, hey, we have until 3PM.  Whereas we were all just wishing we had an excuse to leave.

[gramma dishes]

As long as mom realizes that no one wants to spend 80% of the shower time watching her open gifts, you're good.

I attended a bridal shower last year that was torturous.  The bride took 2.5 hours to open gifts.  She even took a break to go smoke in the middle because, hey, we have until 3PM.  Whereas we were all just wishing we had an excuse to leave.

Maybe you should all have suddenly taken up smoking so you'd have to leave too!   

[TootsNYC]

I have the same instinct as you--but I also know that waiting can make the shower take a LONG time if there are very many guests.

If you're nominally in charge, I suggest you try to get the food STARTED about 2 minutes before the present opening, so that people can nosh in some way (hospitality offered to them!) while the presents are being opened.

[sparksals]

Food and refreshments should be available from the time guests arrive.  I would think it odd to be sitting for a couple hours watching the gift opening without anything to eat.

[LadyR]

Food should be available as soon as gueats arrive and as long as guests can eat as they open presents, I don't see any issues.

As for timing, your sister is around 30 weeks? My shower was at 32 weeks, i was not comfortable having it much later than that, partially because I knew I'd get uncomfortable and cranky s my due date got cloaer, plus risk of early labour. Add in Christmas season and January blahs and the timing makes perfect sense.

[Hmmmmm]

I think most showers I've attended have the same progression.

Guests arrive and visit and nibble on the food for a half hour after start time
Presents are opened and guests wander back and forth to food buffet or drinks as the gifts are opened if it is a long time.
Cake is served
Games are played by those interested are those not have a good opportunity to leave.

[HermioneGranger]

I tried to be sociable and wanted eat and visit before opening presents at my shower, as several people had travelled from out of state to come to eat it and see me.  Silly me, as there was a football game that afternoon that several people wanted to eat and run to go home and watch.  Gee, thanks.  It was nice knowing what was more important to them. 

I would say it depends on the time of the shower.  If it starts at 1, which is lunchtime for many people, eat first and then open gifts.  If it starts at 11, it would probably be okay to open the presents first and then eat. 

[Mikayla]

I don't see a problem with the timing of the shower.  It's a little early, but this happens.

I do see a problem with their agenda for the event.  If the GOH is opening gifts before anything is offered to the guests, this strikes me as rude.  If you can't talk them out of this, then I think your hill to die on should be that the food be organized as a grazing or buffet type thing.  Guests have access to it as soon as they want, and this includes prior to and during gift opening.  Obviously, it also includes beverages.

[bopper]

Opening presents at the shower is sort of the whole point of a shower.

May I suggest a way to have games and presents at the same time?
Make up cards for "baby shower bingo."

E.g., www.babbee.com/baby_bingo/

Bingo cards are devised that have boxes with various likely baby shower presents. So when a present is opened, say a blanket, the players look at their card and mark the square with a blanket.  If they get 5 in a row, they win a little prize.

Generally there is some eating and socializing, then gifts, then dessert.