Coworker, will you be my maid of honor?

[TurtleDove]

I'm also raising an eyebrow at the assumptions being made here that because this is her 4th wedding she must not be serious about it.  I know someone whose first husband died young, the second husband was a mistake made because she really thought she should be married, her 3rd husband passed away and she is seriously dating someone now who she will probably marry.  Two of her three marriages would have been forever and ever except her husbands died.  Unless she's 25 and this is her 4th marriage, I think the judgement may not be fair.

POD.  This is pretty close to my own story.  I would hate to think people do not wish me well simply because my marriages have ended in divorce (one, he cheated) and death (one, suicide).  I am seriously dating again and will likely be married three times before I am 40 - I sincerely hope this one is forever, as I did with my previous marriages.  I kept my vows, my husbands did not.  It is presumptuous to condemn a person who has experienced significant pain in relationships as the woman in the OP undoubtably has.  It may have been due to horrible decisions she made that she has been married three times and is now heading into a fourth.  It may have been horrible things that happened to her.  Either way, I think it is sad to judge her.

That said, I cannot imagine why someone getting married a fourth time would need a maid of honor at all.  I've been married twice and never had any wedding party at all - just me and my husband, both times. I cannot imagine I would have one this next time either.

[Sharnita]

I don't know that the coworker is assuming all people who get married more than once are not serious or that she wishes anybody anything but the best.  I think that knowing that particular person's history and her attitudes might make her a bit unsure about how things will procede.  That doesn't mean that she doesn't want things to go well. I think it can be circumstancial.

[Al]

From The Onion:

Best Man Has No Idea Why He Was Picked

http://www.theonion.com/articles/best-man-has-no-idea-why-he-was-picked,1705/
 

[rose red]

It doesn't matter whether the coworker is really engaged or not, serious or not.  The friend need to ignore the past history and just answer that one question with a yes or no.

[Raintree]

If she doesn't want to be MOH, she should say that she is honoured but it won't be possible.

I'd be a little leery of someone who asked a work-only friend to be MOH. I knew a woman at work who asked all her work friends to the wedding, and to be in the wedding party, and I began to wonder if she had any other friends. Seemed she didn't, and by the time the wedding rolled around I could see why. She was a bully and a bridezilla. She harrassed and bullied one of her bridesmaids at work, over some petty drama, to the point where this bridesmaid had to complain to management to stop the harrassment.