We had dinner at my Mom's house on Saturday and in addition to our regular party (myself, DH, our DD, her, and my father--they are divorced) she invited an elderly neighbor, Ms. Brenda, who doesn't get out much.
I was seated next to Ms. Brenda and the meal was extremely stressful for both myself and DH. She kept grilling us, but most especially me, all evening long. I tried bean-dipping, I tried to pretend I hadn't heard her, I tried changing the subject--nothing worked.
To make matters worse, my Mom encouraged the problem by giving information we didn't particularly want shared.
Ms. Brenda (to me): Are you going to have more children?
Me: Oh no, I don't think so.
Her: Why not? Don't you want to give your mother some more grandchildren?
Mom: Oh, they had some fertility issues so we're very grateful for the grandchild we do have.
Her: What kind of fertility issues?
Thankfully, Mom remained silent on that subject and my DH spoke up and said "that's not really something we discuss with other people."
She asked me about our finances, whether DH or I ever argued about money, if we had known each other long before marriage, and at one point, whether DH had ever been tempted to cheat on me or did I worry about it when he was traveling. (He travels a lot.)
DH reminded her that our DD was sitting at the table and that wasn't an appropriate topic of conversation in her presence.
Normally I would have shut it down quick or said something about how I found her questions to be invasive and personal. However, since she's my elder, my Mother's guest, in my Mom's home--I tried using alternatives, but couldn't get my point across. Typically we stay for coffee and dessert and I help my Mom clean up, but that night we left as soon as dinner was done.
Since the typical suggestions didn't work, what do you do in a situation like this?