Author Topic: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)  (Read 5323 times)

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JenJay

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2012, 07:45:32 PM »
"Buying a 'spirit pack' is a requirement for being on the team. There are no guarantees of playing time. If that doesn't work for you, I'm sorry."

Nothing more than that.

I agree with artk2002.  Alvin was on the team last year, his parents know the score.  I think they are trying to get a commitment from you that Alvin will get more playing time this year.

I agree. The only think I might change is to say "If that doesn't work for you please let me know asap so I can fill Alvin's vacated spot."  ;)

kherbert05

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2012, 08:12:34 PM »
"Buying a 'spirit pack' is a requirement for being on the team. There are no guarantees of playing time. If that doesn't work for you, I'm sorry."

Nothing more than that.

I would say something similar.

All team members are required to purchase a spirit pack. There is no minium required playing time for players in this league. A team member's playing time is determined by his eligibility and the needs of the team in each game.

Put it in terms of what is best for the TEAM. Also if you don't have a parent code of conduct - find one on line and adapt it to your needs. Address the parts of this Mom's SS behavior and make it clear what the consequences of continued bad behavior will be.
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Winterlight

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2012, 08:43:31 PM »
"Buying a 'spirit pack' is a requirement for being on the team. There are no guarantees of playing time. If that doesn't work for you, I'm sorry."

Nothing more than that.

I agree with artk2002.  Alvin was on the team last year, his parents know the score.  I think they are trying to get a commitment from you that Alvin will get more playing time this year.

I agree. The only think I might change is to say "If that doesn't work for you please let me know asap so I can fill Alvin's vacated spot."  ;)

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greencat

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2012, 10:14:32 PM »
I would suggest that you be a little more encouraging to Alvin, and simultaneously a bit more realistic with his parents.

"Alvin wasn't meeting expectations in school last year as a Nth grader, and so even if he'd been ready for game time, which he wasn't as a Nth grader, we couldn't have given it to him.  He's doing so much better in terms of his grades and behavior this year, and as long as he keeps that up, it won't be an obstacle.  I can't guarantee him any specific amount of playtime, because that is based on his performance in practice."  Praise something that Alvin has done well during practice at this point. 

MamaMootz

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2012, 07:31:05 AM »
I'm playing devil's advocate here for a moment. If my child was participating on a team sport and I had to purchase gear, I would like to know that my child would at least have some playing time. $120 would be a big investment in the sport but it wouldn't do much good if the child wasn't allowed to play. I wouldn't be willing to invest the money if she didn't get any play time.

I understand the parents were on the team last year, so they should know - was spirit pack purchase required last year?

Maybe at the beginning of the year, come up with a flyer stating the team rules, explaining how it works and having each player sign for it that they've read the rules and acknowledge? That way you wouldn't have to worry about explaining over and over again.

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ettiquit

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2012, 08:21:27 AM »
I'm playing devil's advocate here for a moment. If my child was participating on a team sport and I had to purchase gear, I would like to know that my child would at least have some playing time. $120 would be a big investment in the sport but it wouldn't do much good if the child wasn't allowed to play. I wouldn't be willing to invest the money if she didn't get any play time.

I understand the parents were on the team last year, so they should know - was spirit pack purchase required last year?

Maybe at the beginning of the year, come up with a flyer stating the team rules, explaining how it works and having each player sign for it that they've read the rules and acknowledge? That way you wouldn't have to worry about explaining over and over again.

I'm another one who can see the parent's perspective a bit, although I understand how and why the team works the way it does.  However, the OP did say that there's an opportunity to do fundraising to help cover the cost, so if they truly want Alvin on the team, they'll do what they can to offset the costs.

Also, totally inappropriate and wimpy to have Alvin text the coach rather than calling him themselves with their concerns.

MamaMootz

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2012, 08:25:53 AM »
I'm playing devil's advocate here for a moment. If my child was participating on a team sport and I had to purchase gear, I would like to know that my child would at least have some playing time. $120 would be a big investment in the sport but it wouldn't do much good if the child wasn't allowed to play. I wouldn't be willing to invest the money if she didn't get any play time.

I understand the parents were on the team last year, so they should know - was spirit pack purchase required last year?

Maybe at the beginning of the year, come up with a flyer stating the team rules, explaining how it works and having each player sign for it that they've read the rules and acknowledge? That way you wouldn't have to worry about explaining over and over again.

I'm another one who can see the parent's perspective a bit, although I understand how and why the team works the way it does.  However, the OP did say that there's an opportunity to do fundraising to help cover the cost, so if they truly want Alvin on the team, they'll do what they can to offset the costs.

Also, totally inappropriate and wimpy to have Alvin text the coach rather than calling him themselves with their concerns.

Agree, ettiquit... they should have contacted the coach directly.
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rigs32

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2012, 09:08:07 AM »
The coaches don't know what kind of team they'll need to field before every game.  Starters might be established, sure, but sometimes you switch it up based on your opponent.  So how could the coach know if the player with skill X or skill Y will be needed?

Also, even if you're just a bench warmer, you wouldn't send your kid in jeans and a sweatshirt - you'd send him in the team uniform, which is contained in the spirit pack.

If you want to see everyone play, don't join a competitive team/league.

TurtleDove

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2012, 09:46:09 AM »
If you want to see everyone play, don't join a competitive team/league.

Bingo. I think the OP got some good advice - I wouldn't respond specifically about Alvin but rather just set forth the (hopefully written) requirements to be on the team and the (hopefully written) "mission statement" (or goals/how play time works) for the team.

bopper

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2012, 11:22:44 AM »

Building on others...but adding the info that you yourself say about Alvin.  Why not mention that you have seen the improvement?

"I received the text from Alvin and I wanted to go ahead and go over the way the team works so that you know what you are getting into before you invest in the spirit pack.  Team members and their families must do X, Y and Z in order to be on the team roster.  As always, team membership will not guarantee any playing time.  Playing time is based on the needs of the team at the time and will be determined by the coaches as the seasons and the individual games progress.  That being said, we noticed that Alvin's grades are much improved, his behavior has matured, and he has a very good chance of starting for us in the 8th grade if he keeps it up. Like I said, however, there are no guarantees and we certainly understand if you find that this won't be the best way for your son to continue to improve his skills and develop his talents to their fullest.  Please let us know what you decide."

sevenday

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #25 on: December 05, 2012, 01:03:54 PM »
Someone else asked if they have to purchase every year.  I too would be leery of buying 3 spirit packs 3 years in a row for a son playing the same sport every year. .. until I realized that kids GROW.  What fit last year most likely won't fit this year.   If the 'spirit pack' includes uniforms that the kids will be playing in, then yes I understand the rule.  I do wonder if these packs are personalized for each child/year or if they could be gifted down to the next kid who could fit into them.  $120 a year would have excluded me from any sport or activity during all of my school years - and continues to do so now as an adult, for financial reasons.

shivering

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #26 on: December 05, 2012, 01:16:37 PM »
Quote
"I received the text from Alvin and I wanted to go ahead and go over the way the team works so that you know what you are getting into before you invest in the spirit pack.  Team members and their families must do X, Y and Z in order to be on the team roster.  As always, team membership will not guarantee any playing time.  Playing time is based on the needs of the team at the time and will be determined by the coaches as the seasons and the individual games progress.  That being said, we noticed that Alvin's grades are much improved, his behavior has matured, and he has a very good chance of starting for us in the 8th grade if he keeps it up. Like I said, however, there are no guarantees and we certainly understand if you find that this won't be the best way for your son to continue to improve his skills and develop his talents to their fullest.  Please let us know what you decide."

I like this except I would leave out the part about him having a good chance of starting next year. Keep in the improvement language, but these parents may be the type to latch on to that and take it as gospel. And if Alvin doesn't start next year... Well, you see where this is going.

I like the idea of a brief, but to the point, flyer outlining the basic requirements. Can the team do additional (team, not individual) fundraisers to help everyone raise more money to offset the spirit packs for everyone? Because I can see it from the parents' point of view. $120 is a lot of money when a kid spends 95% of the time on the bench.

There is a downside to everything and this is one when it comes to a successful sports program. 

TurtleDove

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Re: Pushy Parents ... check my phrasing? (sort of long w/ bg)
« Reply #27 on: December 05, 2012, 01:28:52 PM »
$120 a year would have excluded me from any sport or activity during all of my school years - and continues to do so now as an adult, for financial reasons.

I got the sense this is more of an elite league and that there are other leagues that would not require the same expense.  Kinda like how a kid can take gymnastics at the local YMCA for mere dollars but a family could spend upwards of $100K per year sending that same kid to train with Bela Karoli.