General Etiquette > Life...in general

New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy

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Raintree:
A married female friend of mine was visiting her hometown on vacation without her husband (she wanted to visit, he was working, it was all good with all involved parties). She was suntanning in a local park when some guy started trying to chat her up. She wasn't interested, but trying to be polite and give cues like inserting "My husband this, my husband that" into the conversation. So he wanted to know where her husband was, and she explained that he had not come with her on this trip. (I know, she shouldn't have felt a need to explain a thing, but that's her nature). So he made comments like, 'Oh, you must have a very open marriage then!" She did not know what he meant by that but it was still offensive to have a stranger making assumptions about her marriage.

Anyway, I think the default assumption should be "not an open marriage" until otherwise indicated.

weeblewobble:
WHOA!! Good for your husband!! That was perfect!!

weeblewobble:

--- Quote from: Nora on December 07, 2012, 04:28:33 AM ---Good! I too hope it sticks.

And as someone in an open marriage I'd like to say that it's not awesome when people find out we are open (because my or his BF/GF comes up), and they immidiately assume this to mean we'll appreciate aggressive flirting. And if we (particularly me as the woman), turn them down nicely it's not unusual to receive a face full of verbiage on the topic of their low self esteem and my lack of "sportsmanship".

Do not assume "open marriage" means "open to you". Not cool.

--- End quote ---

Wait, so because you have an open marriage, it's your responsibility to "improve their self-esteem?"  In their opinion, you're required to be open to everybody? That sounds like a massive, horrifying assumption.

Tea Drinker:

--- Quote from: weeblewobble on December 08, 2012, 09:36:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: Nora on December 07, 2012, 04:28:33 AM ---Good! I too hope it sticks.

And as someone in an open marriage I'd like to say that it's not awesome when people find out we are open (because my or his BF/GF comes up), and they immidiately assume this to mean we'll appreciate aggressive flirting. And if we (particularly me as the woman), turn them down nicely it's not unusual to receive a face full of verbiage on the topic of their low self esteem and my lack of "sportsmanship".

Do not assume "open marriage" means "open to you". Not cool.

--- End quote ---

Wait, so because you have an open marriage, it's your responsibility to "improve their self-esteem?"  In their opinion, you're required to be open to everybody? That sounds like a massive, horrifying assumption.

--- End quote ---

Massive and horrifying, yes--and the men who say that probably also feel entitled to sex with random single women, regardless of what the women want.

Wordgeek:
Thread closed.  Please see the forum rules about appropriate and inappropriate topics for the reason why.

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