New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy

[rose red]

When your DH is working out, I don't see a problem with him yelling back that "I need to concentrate and your catcalls are putting me in danger.  I also don't appreciate the intent, so stop it."

[BarensMom]

Perhaps you should stand or sit on the balcony when he works out and watch him adoringly while he ignores her.  He could also play music just loud enough to block her catcalls.  Of course, the best thing is for him to just shut her down the next time she tries to "vamp" him.

[CaptainObvious]

Perhaps you should stand or sit on the balcony when he works out and watch him adoringly while he ignores her.  He could also play music just loud enough to block her catcalls.  Of course, the best thing is for him to just shut her down the next time she tries to "vamp" him.

Doesn't your Husband use a "spotter" while he lifts? I didn't think most people lifted heavy weights alone?

[kherbert05]

If you are allowed to screen in the balcony to insulate it - can you screen off her side of the balcony.


Your DH needs to tell her 1 time to back off. After that document, but ignore. Inform your landlord/property manager what is going on.

[Piratelvr1121]

Anyone remember Katey Sagal's character in Edward Scissorhands, the desperate housewife who had the hots for Edward? This woman reminds me of her for some reason.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx4ktvTA5A1qe0deco1_500.jpg

[Miss March]

Actually, that actress's name is Kathy Baker. She made it big on "Picket Fences."

[Calypso]

 I disagree with the advice re being very blunt and very aggressive with how you deal with Crazy Lady, because she lives right next door, is probably in the throes of some hormonal irrationality (depends on what you mean by "older") and if she decides she's ticked at y'all, could make your life a living heck. I envision constant complaints to the landlord re the "noise" you're making, or whatever. Do not make an enemy of this woman. You don't have to take her nonsense, but you don't have to go nuclear on her, either. The OP clearly doesn't feel threatened (rightfully not) and to treat her in any way as a "romantic threat" will just reinforce her fantasy.

Really, DH has all the power here. She probably interprets his ignoring her during his workout as tacit acceptance of being watched. The next time she wolf whistles him, he should put the weight down, walk to the point of the balcony closest to her, and say "Mrs. Crazylady" (do NOT use her first name, if he knows it), "if you interrupt my concentration during my workout, I could easily mishandle a weight and hurt myself. I don't like to be watched when I'm working out. Please do not do so." If that doesn't work, building a barrier (or putting up a makeshift one) will solve the problem. How about a stand with a bunch of plants on it, if you like that sort of thing?

Why confront her crush directly? You'll make her feel ashamed, and that will become anger and defensiveness and ugliness before you can blink. Polite, cool, respectful behavior (as one should respect one's elders  ) will give her a chance to control herself and pretend maybe nobody noticed or remembered her lapses from normal behavior. She could (eventually) become a good neighbor.

If your DH has a Russian accent, could you get him to use one that's less sexy? (only kidding)

[Piratelvr1121]

Actually, that actress's name is Kathy Baker. She made it big on "Picket Fences."

I thought she was better known for playing Peg Bundy in "Married, With Children"?

[Devix]

Yeah, it was kind of a hysterical sight when I opened the door.  She was all dressed up and I was in my pajama pants and a t-shirt so the contrast was quite stark.  I'll admit that I did laugh after I closed the door though I made sure to remain as stoic as possible when she could see/hear me. 

Call me a bad person but I laughed out loud when I read this.  You say "older" woman so I am not sure what you mean, but I am 50 and I would spork myself in the throat before I wore an outfit like this.

By my guess she's probably in her late 40's.  Heck, I wouldn't wear anything quite that short and tight and I'm in my 20's.  At the very least I do have to admire her self confidence even if I don't admire much else.

Perhaps you should stand or sit on the balcony when he works out and watch him adoringly while he ignores her.  He could also play music just loud enough to block her catcalls.  Of course, the best thing is for him to just shut her down the next time she tries to "vamp" him.

It makes me miss our old neighbor.  She was in her 80's and a spunkier woman I have never met.  She'd enjoy DH's workouts quite a bit and she and I would have some tea every few weeks where she'd be happy to share her appreciation.  Of course DH never minded it because the old neighbor would just wave hello in the morning and be on her merry way.  DH has his headphones on but her voice is shrill and he doesn't like playing his music so loud that he's going deaf.

If you are allowed to screen in the balcony to insulate it - can you screen off her side of the balcony.

The screen starts on the other side and would need to be wrapped around the entire balcony to screen off her side.  It's not a bad idea but when we have the screen up and he's working out it tends to get a bit...stinky in there and he can get overheated.

Doesn't your Husband use a "spotter" while he lifts? I didn't think most people lifted heavy weights alone?

He does when he's doing bodybuilding or working with 100+ lbs weights and that is usually when he's at an actual gym.  The ones we have at home aren't that heavy but they're still heavy enough that he could hurt himself if he's startled and lurches and given just how shrill and loud Tammy's voice is when she's calling out she can easily startle people. 

I envision constant complaints to the landlord re the "noise" you're making, or whatever

We own, she doesn't so there is very little a landlord could do.  I do have a shoji screen though so maybe I'll just put that up on the balcony and block out her view.  Actually, I'm more tempted to just have DH put down the weights, walk over to the balcony and just glare at her until she goes away.  The man has a very piercing glare and I've seen quite a few people squirm under it. 

Oh no, I'm with you.  The Russian accent can be both scary but very attractive at the same time.


Right now I think I may just advise DH to be direct in telling her that he does not appreciate the attention and from then on to be as cold (yet polite) as possible.

[doodlemor]

I disagree with the advice re being very blunt and very aggressive with how you deal with Crazy Lady, because she lives right next door, is probably in the throes of some hormonal irrationality (depends on what you mean by "older") and if she decides she's ticked at y'all, could make your life a living heck. I envision constant complaints to the landlord re the "noise" you're making, or whatever. Do not make an enemy of this woman. You don't have to take her nonsense, but you don't have to go nuclear on her, either. The OP clearly doesn't feel threatened (rightfully not) and to treat her in any way as a "romantic threat" will just reinforce her fantasy.

Really, DH has all the power here. She probably interprets his ignoring her during his workout as tacit acceptance of being watched. The next time she wolf whistles him, he should put the weight down, walk to the point of the balcony closest to her, and say "Mrs. Crazylady" (do NOT use her first name, if he knows it), "if you interrupt my concentration during my workout, I could easily mishandle a weight and hurt myself. I don't like to be watched when I'm working out. Please do not do so." If that doesn't work, building a barrier (or putting up a makeshift one) will solve the problem. How about a stand with a bunch of plants on it, if you like that sort of thing?

Why confront her crush directly? You'll make her feel ashamed, and that will become anger and defensiveness and ugliness before you can blink. Polite, cool, respectful behavior (as one should respect one's elders  ) will give her a chance to control herself and pretend maybe nobody noticed or remembered her lapses from normal behavior. She could (eventually) become a good neighbor.

If your DH has a Russian accent, could you get him to use one that's less sexy? (only kidding)

I like this advice.  Why escalate unless it is truly necessary?

[Harriet Jones]

Actually, that actress's name is Kathy Baker. She made it big on "Picket Fences."

I thought she was better known for playing Peg Bundy in "Married, With Children"?

Katey Sagal was in Married with Children, Kathy Baker was in Edward Scissorhands

[norrina]

Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.

Call me a bad person but I laughed out loud when I read this.  You say "older" woman so I am not sure what you mean, but I am 50 and I would spork myself in the throat before I wore an outfit like this.

I would have laughed when I saw her at my door.  No advice to offer, PP's have much better phrases than I do.

Per the bolded - I'm 37 and I would, too. To each her own I guess. 

I'm a 34 y.o. rollergirl. Short and tight tends to describe our uniform, and I still only wear a skirt so short my heiney is in danger of being on display for derby or a night on the town, and with bootie shorts or bike shorts, and dance tights under my fishnets.

[sunnygirl]

I think ignoring the crush part and just focusing on the distraction/weights part is a good idea - maybe he could write her a polite note explaining that her trying to greet him/gain his attention during his workouts is distracting and potentially dangerous. He could do it in person but a note might be better as he might not want to give her an opening to start a conversation or encourage her.

[Raintree]

Seriously? I'm 47 and still ok-looking, but I cannot even fathom going to some hot 20-something neighbour's door at 9 PM wearing a tight, short pink dress under the pretense of delivering cookies. What an embarrassment!! And then after meeting his wife, going out and cat-calling and wolf-whistling from the balcony as he works out. She sounds a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

All I can suggest is being blunt, "Please don't call out to me or watch me while I'm working out." Ignore her in the elevator. "I don't think so" to her requests for help. I have to say that as a woman, if I had a male neighbour doing this to me, I'd probably be driven indoors to work out (it's not right, but I'd never feel comfortable working out with some creep staring at me).

[WillyNilly]

Doesn't your Husband use a "spotter" while he lifts? I didn't think most people lifted heavy weights alone?

My DH weight lifts without a spotter.  To keep it safer when bench pressing he uses two individual weights instead of one long barbell, so there is no chance of the weight falling and pinning him under the bar, if it falls it just damages the floor, at worst his wrist.