Author Topic: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy  (Read 19297 times)

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CaptainObvious

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2012, 06:18:47 PM »
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

Maybe I missed it but I don't see where Dervix's husband is unwilling to say anything.

The OP said he is just ignoring her, and from what she wrote, it has happened several times.

Aeris

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2012, 06:20:12 PM »
That must be a huge balcony for an apartment. Can he move the weights inside? I'm sure she won't stop trying to flirt with him just because of that, but in the meantime, it will give him some peace.

Why should he have to do that? He has a right to live his life as he chooses.

Did you read my whole post? I didn't mean it as a permanent solution. But until he gets her off his back, I'm sure he would like to have workout routines that aren't continually interrupted by her come-ons.

I'm just surprised you can leave all that exercise equipment permanently on the balcony. I would have assumed that rain/heat/cold/etc would be damaging over time.

LeveeWoman

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2012, 06:20:46 PM »
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

Maybe I missed it but I don't see where Dervix's husband is unwilling to say anything.

The OP said he is just ignoring her, and from what she wrote, it has happened several times.

Ignoring someone is not the same as not being willing to say something.

CaptainObvious

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2012, 06:23:38 PM »
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

Maybe I missed it but I don't see where Dervix's husband is unwilling to say anything.

The OP said he is just ignoring her, and from what she wrote, it has happened several times.

Ignoring someone is not the same as not being willing to say something.

He hasn't said anything the several times it has happened, but I will re-phrase it to "so far he hasn't been willing to speak up".

LeveeWoman

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2012, 06:24:48 PM »
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

Maybe I missed it but I don't see where Dervix's husband is unwilling to say anything.

The OP said he is just ignoring her, and from what she wrote, it has happened several times.

Ignoring someone is not the same as not being willing to say something.

He hasn't said anything the several times it has happened, but I will re-phrase it to "so far he hasn't been willing to speak up".

Where does she say that he isn't willing to speak up?

Yvaine

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #20 on: December 03, 2012, 06:25:28 PM »
That must be a huge balcony for an apartment. Can he move the weights inside? I'm sure she won't stop trying to flirt with him just because of that, but in the meantime, it will give him some peace.

Why should he have to do that? He has a right to live his life as he chooses.

Did you read my whole post? I didn't mean it as a permanent solution. But until he gets her off his back, I'm sure he would like to have workout routines that aren't continually interrupted by her come-ons.

I'm just surprised you can leave all that exercise equipment permanently on the balcony. I would have assumed that rain/heat/cold/etc would be damaging over time.

I also worry about the weight of it! I've seen a lot of balconies that wouldn't hold that much safely.

CaptainObvious

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #21 on: December 03, 2012, 06:26:16 PM »
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

Maybe I missed it but I don't see where Dervix's husband is unwilling to say anything.

The OP said he is just ignoring her, and from what she wrote, it has happened several times.

Ignoring someone is not the same as not being willing to say something.

He hasn't said anything the several times it has happened, but I will re-phrase it to "so far he hasn't been willing to speak up".

Where does she say that he isn't willing to speak up?

Please stop, I'm not going to go round and round about this. I explained already, you don't have to agree with me.

Devix

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #22 on: December 03, 2012, 06:51:16 PM »
  What was she wearing when you answered the door?  My mind is speculating wildly lol


Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.


Quote from: artk2002
Your DH *must* put Tammy in her place, ASAP. Bluntly. "Tammy, your attention to me is inappropriate. Stop. Don't *ever* call out to me when I'm working out and if you aren't willing to accept help from my wife and only from me, then don't ask for help."

I actually really like this.  It's direct and to the point and makes sure she understands that it is a command and not a request.

Quote from: CaptainObvious
If your Husband isn't willing to say something to her, then what does he expect to happen?

He's willing to say quite a lot to her but what he is willing to say is neither nice or e-hell approved and I feel like it would just allow her to paint herself as the victim.  DH takes his workouts very seriously and after she's interrupted him for the tenth time he'll stalk inside and start muttering angry Russian curses so for right now I'd rather he ignore her than just go off on her.


Quote from: MrsJWine
That must be a huge balcony for an apartment. Can he move the weights inside? I'm sure she won't stop trying to flirt with him just because of that, but in the meantime, it will give him some peace.

The balcony is pretty huge and it has enough room for his weights, punching bag, pull up bar and a few other machines they don't have in the apartment gym.  There really isn't any room in our apartment for him to store all this stuff and he likes the fresh air while I like not having to hear him grunt or have his sweat everywhere.

Quote from: Aeris
I'm just surprised you can leave all that exercise equipment permanently on the balcony. I would have assumed that rain/heat/cold/etc would be damaging over time.

He has tarps he throws over everything and the balcony has a screen we can put over it to keep it insulated.  The weight on the balcony isn't a problem since its a very newly built high rise and we already have the building manager come and check everything out before we put the gym out there so there are no safety concerns. 

weeblewobble

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2012, 07:06:46 PM »
  What was she wearing when you answered the door?  My mind is speculating wildly lol


Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.



(Blink, blink.  Jaw drops open.  Blink.)

I retract my previous advice. I think you need to drop all pretense of being unaware of what this woman is doing.  Give her the cut direct.  She is no longer there.  She is invisible to you.  And maybe your husband should continue to ignore her if he is unwilling to address the situation.  But this also means, not giving her "little attentions" either.  He should not chat to her in the lobby, hold the elevator for her or help with her groceries.  If she speaks to him, no eye contact, no verbal responses.  She is a sheet of clear glass, you look right through her.  She will probably escalate her behavior to recapture his attentions, and you both need to continue to ignore her.

LeveeWoman

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #24 on: December 03, 2012, 07:13:04 PM »
Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.

Wow! I bet that smile slipped right off her face as soon as she saw it was you.

I'd continue to ignore her. Perhaps I'd go to the management if she continues to harass your husband on ya'll's balcony.

jedikaiti

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #25 on: December 03, 2012, 07:17:43 PM »
  What was she wearing when you answered the door?  My mind is speculating wildly lol


Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.


Quote from: artk2002
Your DH *must* put Tammy in her place, ASAP. Bluntly. "Tammy, your attention to me is inappropriate. Stop. Don't *ever* call out to me when I'm working out. I do not appreciate being harassed with catcalls and wolf whistles. and if you aren't willing to accept help from my wife and only from meI will not be offering you any further assistance without my wife present. If you don't want to accept assistance from both of us, then don't ask for help."

I actually really like this.  It's direct and to the point and makes sure she understands that it is a command and not a request.

Oh my goodness I need brain bleach!

I think your DH needs to go knock on her door when he is feeling calm and when she answers, give her the order to leave him alone. I made some modifications for your consideration.

If that doesn't work, I think weeblewobble is right on with the silent treatment and LeveeWoman has a good idea in chatting with management.
"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

JenJay

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2012, 07:30:57 PM »
I'd be pissed. This woman is disrespecting your marriage and your husband by even thinking that he might be interested in... whatever it is she's offering. lol

It sounds like your DH is more than happy to put her in her place so I vote you give him the green light and some helpful phrases he can use to get the point across clearly without creating any more tension, since you are neighbors (At least for now. If she doesn't get it and back off then he'll need to do whatever he needs to do.). He doesn't have to be mean, he can say things like (when he's working out) "I'm busy, this isn't a good time to talk." and then ignore any further attempt she makes to engage him. If she shows up at the door to offer up her cookies again ;D he could say "I'm sorry but this is really inappropriate. I'm happily married and intend to keep it that way. Have a good night." If she tries to chat him up in the lobby, hall, elevator, etc. he can be polite but cool and end the conversation as quickly as possible. If all else fails I imagine "I was kind to you because we're neighbors but I can see that you're interested in more. I'm not. Please leave me alone." ought to suffice.  ;)

cheyne

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #27 on: December 03, 2012, 07:38:25 PM »
Quote
Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.

Call me a bad person but I laughed out loud when I read this.  You say "older" woman so I am not sure what you mean, but I am 50 and I would spork myself in the throat before I wore an outfit like this.

I would have laughed when I saw her at my door.  No advice to offer, PP's have much better phrases than I do.

Sanity Lost

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #28 on: December 03, 2012, 07:45:00 PM »
Start addressing her as Mrs. Robinson? no?  ;D

JenJay

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Re: New Neighbor: Peeping Tammy
« Reply #29 on: December 03, 2012, 07:46:57 PM »
Quote
Think very tight pink dress 3 sizes too small with a black bustier on top that practically pushed her chest up to her chin.  She also had on a pair of fishnets and when she walked away the bottom of the dress kept riding up so I got an unfortunate view of what she was wearing under.  A perfectly fine outfit for a club but kind of a weird choice when you're knocking on your neighbors door at 9 o'clock at night.

Call me a bad person but I laughed out loud when I read this.  You say "older" woman so I am not sure what you mean, but I am 50 and I would spork myself in the throat before I wore an outfit like this.

I would have laughed when I saw her at my door.  No advice to offer, PP's have much better phrases than I do.

Per the bolded - I'm 37 and I would, too. To each her own I guess.  ;D