Please Don't Kick My Dog...

[CrochetFanatic]

It's been cold lately, but today was pretty mild and I didn't even need a jacket.  Our Boxer, Daisy, is getting a bit antsy from being inside so much (she doesn't tolerate cold or heat well), so I thought it would be a good day to take her to the track for a walk.  Basically, it's a walking trail that goes in a lopsided loop, and it's by the library and the middle school.  Dogs are allowed, but they have to be on a leash and you have to pick up after your pet.  Pretty standard. 

The walk was uneventful, but as we were on our way to the car we passed by a woman who looked to be in her 60's.  Daisy loves people, and she started her whole tail-wagging "happy to meet you" dance, trying to lead me over to greet the woman.  I didn't let her, and she was about ten feet away as we passed, but I think this lady must be afraid of dogs or something, because she took a step back before aiming two kicks in the dog's direction.  The kicks were kinda feeble, but it got my back up.  Uh-uh.  Not okay to kick at my dog.  Daisy was on a harness and leash, and there was no danger of her unintentionally harming the lady.  Now, Daisy is about 70 pounds and admittedly looks a bit intimidating to people who first meet her, but she's really just a big wimp.  I can't totally blame the lady for her reaction, especially it she was afraid of dogs, but I was angry just the same.

I'm not sure if I handled this well or not, though.  I said, not in a sharp tone, "Ma'am, please don't try to kick my dog.  I understand you don't want to be jumped on or knocked down, but I've got her under control, and we're leaving.  She won't bother you."

The lady actually seemed a bit mollified, but said, "Just keep that beast away from me."

It seemed like a case of "phobic person meets trigger", and I'm not unsympathetic.  If someone came near me with a tarantula, I'd similarly freak out.  I've already made up my mind to give this woman a wide berth if I see her there again and Daisy happens to be with me, and I've described her to my family so that they can do the same, but we're not avoiding the track.  Dogs are allowed, and Daisy has every right to be there as long as we follow the rules.  Is there any way I could have handled it better?

[NyaChan]

Wow, hats off to you - I think you did an amazing job!

[Seraphim]

I think you did very well. I think I would have a very hard time being as polite as you were if someone attempted to kick my dogs whilst they were totally under control.

I understand that it might have been a trigger for her, but really it is her issue and dosent give her the right to harm (or attempt to) an animal that is absolutly no threat to her.

If Daisy did jump on her, or lunge in an agressive manner (not saying that she would) then that might be a different situation and the lady would have the right to protect herself.

[chibichan]

I would have left off the " Please " , but since she wasn't actually close enough to touch your dog , the Icy Glare of Death would have sufficed .

Kudos to you for recognizing what it was - a fear reflex , not an attempt to torment your animal . If you do run into her again , I'm pretty sure she will give you a wide berth .

If she tries the kicking thing again , you can tell her " You know that just signals to her that you want to play ( or fight ). "

Then you can advise her to stand quietly until you pass , or give some other reassuring advice .

You do not need to avoid her . She is the one with the issue . You are within your rights to use the track .

[Deetee]

I'm a bit confused. You said the woman was ten feet away from you when you passed. Then she took a step back and kicked? Was she kicking your dog or kicking the air 10 feet away?

This matters because I feel that people with lively large dogs should keep their dogs controlled so that no people need to get any closer than they want to.

I will admit that my feelings on this have sharpened since a dog jumped all over daughter and stole the muffin out her hand. She never dropped it. The dog grabbed it. That situation was different as it was an off leash dog in an on leash area (actually dogs were forbidden in the playground and needed to be on-leash nearby). I get a suprisingly aggresive adreline rush when dogs get close to my kid now (and are not under apparent control.)

 An enthusiastic dog can be terrifying for a child, an elderly person, anyone with poor balance or anyone who is nervous around dogs. So the closeness of the dog can easily trigger someone to act aggresively out of fear. It's good you recognise this.

This does not condone someone attacking your dog unprovoked, but dogs can be quite scary (and almost every dog owner thinks their dog is "friendly" ) and backing  away means someone has the perception that the dog is not under control.

[AngelicGamer]

I think the only thing that I would do is have put Daisy on the other side.  So, instead of being more on the path, she would be on the grass.

That said - you did amazing!  I would have been seeing red as well and I don't think I would have been as half as polite. 

[BatCity]

My two cents, as the dog loving mother of a kid who would have done the same thing.

A little background: DD13 is terrified of dogs, even though we've always had a house full of big, slobbering beasts.  Recently I posted in the I Need a Hug folder that we finally had to rehome our beloved boys because in spite of years of therapy, DD is actually getting worse.  In spite of the fact that I continue to discipline her for doing so, she will kick at any dog who approaches her.  I don't think she will ever be able to act appropriately around dogs.

Based on that, I'd guarantee that this woman has the same issue my DD has, but even so, I think your reply was perfect.  Even if this woman has a phobia, she is still acting inappropriately and deserves negative consequences.  Unfortunately, it probably won't do any good.

[CrochetFanatic]

To Deetee, it was about ten feet, and Daisy tried to veer as we passed, but she wasn't straining to get to her.  There was still space between us, and Daisy only lunges when it's a squirrel.  The lady had no way of knowing that, though, so I get what you're saying.  There really was no danger of the lady being hurt, but a distance of ten or so feet might not have been sufficient.

Nobody was hurt, unless you count Daisy's feelings.    She thinks everyone loves her, and is quite put out when that proves not to be the case.

[Deetee]

That really does sound like someone who really does not like dogs (or is terrified of them).

It doesn't make her behaviour any more pleasant but it sounds like it wasn't personal. She may not even be aware of the kicking. But her comment afterwards puts her firmy in rude category in my mind. If she had said "I'm just really nervous around dogs" I'm sure you would forgive a possibly inadvertant air kick.

(Like I said, since the recent "Incident with the muffin" I am oddly twitchy around dogs when I used to be much more relaxed.)

[hobish]

 Some people have phobias, others are just plain evil. Either way, if a dog who is on a leash and under control and ten feet away with room enough for you to even step back is not enough room to be no closer than you want to, that is your problem, not the dog owner's. Kicking is completely innapropriate. Period. (All yous general)

LOL, i can't even think straight; i admit i am biased. It took a long road to get my abused hound dog into the friendly exhuberant dog she is now. I cannot speak for what i would do to someone who tried to kick her. People cannot expect to think that not everyone knows that a controlled dog on a leash is not threatening, and yet a dog should know that people kicking at them is not threatening and is somehow ok. Does not compute.

CrochetFanatic, you handled that really well. Giving your family her description to avoid her -- for both of your sake -- was really good thinking.

[WillyNilly]

I think you were out of line.  She did not "try to kick [your] dog" at all.  Not even close.  10 full feet away in fact.  Heck she took 2 steps backwards.  She kicked at the air.  You then admonished her and accused her of something she didn't come anywhere close to doing.  You should have just kept going and ignored her, instead you verbally attacked her. People don't have to like your dog, any dog or even the idea of dogs.  She was not in any way shape or form a danger to your dog, she was clearly trying to defend herself in case of an attack, not trying to instigate one.

[hobish]

I think you were out of line.  She did not "try to kick [your] dog" at all.  Not even close.  10 full feet away in fact.  Heck she took 2 steps backwards.  She kicked at the air.  You then admonished her and accused her of something she didn't come anywhere close to doing.  You should have just kept going and ignored her, instead you verbally attacked her. People don't have to like your dog, any dog or even the idea of dogs.  She was not in any way shape or form a danger to your dog, she was clearly trying to defend herself in case of an attack, not trying to instigate one.

This is what i don't get. How is a dog on a leash 10 feet away a potential attack, but an unrestrained human at the same distance and actively kicking not a potential attack?

[Jones]

A person kicking in the direction of an aggressive dog will most likely be seen and interpreted as "instigating a fight" to said dog's mind.

Luckily, CrochetFanatic had control of her dog and Daisy wasn't aggressive.

[Girly]

I don't think I would have said anything (she's 10 ft. away, after all), but I most certainly would have the 'what in the heck are you doing' expression on my face. Maybe I would ask her if I could help her with something? Heck, I don't know. I have a boxer as well, and I've never had anyone react to her that way.

[WillyNilly]

I think you were out of line.  She did not "try to kick [your] dog" at all.  Not even close.  10 full feet away in fact.  Heck she took 2 steps backwards.  She kicked at the air.  You then admonished her and accused her of something she didn't come anywhere close to doing.  You should have just kept going and ignored her, instead you verbally attacked her. People don't have to like your dog, any dog or even the idea of dogs.  She was not in any way shape or form a danger to your dog, she was clearly trying to defend herself in case of an attack, not trying to instigate one.

This is what i don't get. How is a dog on a leash 10 feet away a potential attack, but an unrestrained human at the same distance and actively kicking not a potential attack?

Thats my point neither was an attack, really.  This was two creatures reacting to one another.  But the OP tells us the dog was trying to go near the woman,"she started her whole tail-wagging "happy to meet you" dance, trying to lead me over to greet the woman".  If the dog wasn't on a leash no doubt the dog would have went over.  Now the OP is a responsible dog owner and didn't let the dog go, but trust and believe hundreds of thousands of dog owners would. That woman had no idea what type of dog owner OP is.  So she stepped back and readied herself.  The dog was in no danger at that time because OP was restraining the dog.  But the woman had to prepare that OP wouldn't restrain the dog.  The woman had to be prepared for the equally likely event the dog would approach and perhaps lunge.  And that's all she did.  She came no where near kicking the dog.  Yet she was accused of trying to kick the dog.

How would the OP have reacted if the woman instead of kicking the air had screamed "keep it away!  Its attacking me!  Keep it away!"?  That's essentially what OP did to her - accused her of a mythical attack. OP restrained her dog the woman readied herself for self defense.  No one got within 10 feet of each other and no one was harmed or even near harm.  Yet the OP accused the woman of seriously attempting harm.  That's not cool IMO.