General Etiquette > Family and Children

Uncomfortable with FIL's gift to my child

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TurtleDove:
Maybe I am not understanding the issue here - I understood that the OP historically allows her DD to play with an ipad.  I don't see how a gift of another ipad changes this in any way or forces her to not have control over a 3 year old's use of the ipad (or any toy or object for that matter).  I also am perhaps confused what a Leap Pad is but I assumed it was essentially the same thing as an ipad only specifically geared for younger kids.  I don't see how the OP would be fine with this but is upset about the ipad.

FWIW, I do not allow my DD (age 4) to use my computer at all and would not let her use an ipad. My opinion here is based on the parenting choices the OP said she made - I don't see the distinction or the problem with the gift given those parenting choices to date.

CaptainObvious:

--- Quote from: PurpleFrog on December 05, 2012, 10:40:31 AM ---I think you have a perfect right to veto such an expensive and easily breakable present for a toddler. I would be hugely uncomfortable with my 3 year old having an iPad of any form. Your FIL is ignoring your agreement for his own pleasure in seeing dd opening the gift.


Speak to him again, explain that you do not want your 3 year old to have a personal iPad, which is why you suggestedit be a family gift. As it seems he is not happy with the compromise you'd prefer that he not give the iPad at all. Tell him if he does give it to her it will be promptly returned.

You then need to stick to your guns, if he turns up with it on Christmas day take it from your daughter and hand it back to him, saying there must be a mistake and this can't be the gift for your dd as he knows she isn't allowed her own iPad.

--- End quote ---

The FIL can present to the daughter in any fashion he wants, it still doesn't make it "her iPad". You are the Parent, you make the decisions, plus she is 3, she isn't going to understand that it is a family gift or a personal one.

O'Dell:
I don't understand how letting your daughter open the gift changes the agreement in any way. Your FIL just wants to see her open "her" gift. Use it how you want.

I do think he was rude to unilaterally change the first agreement from a LeapPad to an iPad. But the time has passed to object to that.

jmarvellous:

--- Quote from: O'Dell on December 05, 2012, 10:58:39 AM ---I don't understand how letting your daughter open the gift changes the agreement in any way. Your FIL just wants to see her open "her" gift. Use it how you want.

I do think he was rude to unilaterally change the first agreement from a LeapPad to an iPad. But the time has passed to object to that.

--- End quote ---

Agreed. You are still the parent. You can dictate how, when and where any gift your kid receives is used, and in most cases, you can still use it yourself as you like.

Stop trying to reason with an unreasonable grownup (though I'm sorry he's that way!), and do what you can once you're in your own home.
 

Zilla:
The fact she plays with an iPad already influences my opinion here.  I too think it's fine for her to open it as a present.  She is 3 and doesn't understand how expensive of a gift it is.  It is simply a present and yay her own to play on.  Your personal rules would still apply and you would still supervise her use etc.

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