I realize this is a somewhat silly first world problem.
I have an "old" 1st generation ipad. My 3yo DD loves playing with it and most of the apps on it are for her. (I use it mostly for internet and DH has a few games on it.) Knowing this, my FIL told DH a few months ago that he wanted to get DD a LeapPad for Christmas. We thought it would be a great gift for her and were thankful for his generosity.
Later he decided that instead of giving her a LeapPad, he will get an ipad mini for himself and give her his ipad2. We do not want her to have "her own" ipad, but DH said it would be all right if FIL made it a family gift so we'd have 2 ipads between the 3 of us. I was thinking DD would mostly continue to use mine since her apps are already on it. Having another ipad would not change anything for DD since the only time I don't allow her to use mine is when I don't want her to have screen time; the only real benefit would be for me and DH, since we would have another ipad to use at the same time. This isn't something we particularly desire since we have plenty of other ways to occupy ourselves and we don't want DD in front of a screen for hours at a time regardless of "sharing" issues. But it's a nice, generous gift and would be appreciated.
DH thought he had made it clear that we didn't want it to be a gift specifically for DD. He even asked that it not be wrapped and put under the tree. However, that conversation was a few weeks ago and FIL seems to have forgotten it. Yesterday he was talking enthusiastically to DH about "DD's ipad" and how excited she would be when she unwrapped it. I'm not comfortable with that. I don't think DH is either, but he has a hard time standing up to his dad.
Am I being unreasonable? I can't even really verbalize why this makes me uncomfortable. (DH jokes that I just don't want my 3yo to have a better toy than I do. There's some truth to that, but it's more about not spoiling my child than wanting the best stuff for myself.)
If it's OK to ask FIL not to do this, how should we go about it? Just reiterate that we don't want the ipad to be a gift for DD specifically, don't want it wrapped for her to open, etc.? Does that sound rude and/or entitled? (As in, "don't give that to my child, give it to meeeee!")
If it's rude to dictate the terms/recipient of the gift, is it better to outright refuse it? Would it be extra rude to try to steer FIL back to the LeapPad idea, especially since that would cost him an extra $100? (I'm assuming he'd get himself an ipad mini anyway and isn't just getting it in order to pass on his ipad2 to DD.)