Author Topic: Not The Original Plan! *Small Update P. 17*  (Read 8798 times)

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donnamos2

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Not The Original Plan! *Small Update P. 17*
« on: December 05, 2012, 05:12:02 PM »
I've got a two-part problem, and really need the board's collective wisdom since I don't think bean-dip will solve it.

In the past year, I moved to a new neighborhood.  It's taken a while to get to know the neighbors, but one family down the street made quite an impression. They have a teenage daughter, and they've gone out of their way to let me know that she's always looking for babysitting jobs. Great, good, but I've never really called her, since my family and my ex-in-laws tend to be available and, well, I know them. Still, they frequently remind me.

I hired a local college student (CS) about a month ago to be a part-time nanny. (As the neighbor teen can't drive, this is not the issue.)  The job requirements are pretty simple: pick up Babymoss at the pre-school/daycare at 3, take her to her afternoon activities (tumbling, dance, music, art), take her home, and play with/watch her until I get home between 5 and 6.  There have been a few ruffled feathers on both sides of this arrangement, but I thought we were finally settling into a good routine when CS announced that she had to change sections of a required class, so she would have to leave right at 5 twice a week to commute back to school to attend this class.  Well, stuff happens, but this is something I had made clear at the beginning that I wasn't about to accomodate. The job is M-F, 2:45 to 6:00, and if you aren't available then, then you can't do the job. And it isn't like I didn't have other applicants, so when she told me this, I told her that it was too bad, but it wouldn't work and thanks and maybe a few semesters down the road, we might be able to work together.

But wait! CS told me that it was all taken care of! CS herself contacted neighbor teen about the issue, and neighbor teen is MORE THAN HAPPY to come on those two days and fill in, and neighbor teen ONLY charges $15/hour.  And CS wondered why I wasn't thrilled to be told that she made arrangements to have a kid I don't know in my house watching Babymoss and costing me $30/week. 

So, I've had to fire CS, which even if her schedule hadn't changed, I would have done for her egregious overstepping.  But how do I approach the neighbors and their teenage daughter? This is going to be an awkward conversation, but I want to remain on good and friendly terms.  So how do I go about it?
« Last Edit: December 05, 2012, 07:47:49 PM by donnamos2 »

Eden

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2012, 05:19:32 PM »
Can you just say the job you need is for someone who drives but you appreciate her offering to help?

Sidenote: I may have been out of the game for awhile, but $15/hour? Is that normal?

WillyNilly

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2012, 05:19:39 PM »
"Hi neighbors!  I'm so sorry about the misunderstanding, but the nanny who tried to hire you actually no longer works for me.  I do wish teenager daughter had a car & license, as I would have been more then happy to interview her for the nanny position, but as of right now what I really need is one consistent person Mondays through Fridays 2:45 to 6:00 who can pick up and drop off DD.  I absolutely will bear daughter in mind for future gigs though, like if we have a family wedding to attend on a weekend or something.  Thanks so much for understanding, I do apologize for the nanny over stepping."

despedina

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2012, 05:19:44 PM »
I would think you just say that you did not authorize CS to hire their teen, and that CS did not speak to you prior to doing that. Acknowledge with the teen's parents that this is very awkward, but that you will be making other arrangements.

doodlemor

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2012, 05:23:13 PM »
"Hi neighbors!  I'm so sorry about the misunderstanding, but the nanny who tried to hire you actually no longer works for me.  I do wish teenager daughter had a car & license, as I would have been more then happy to interview her for the nanny position, but as of right now what I really need is one consistent person Mondays through Fridays 2:45 to 6:00 who can pick up and drop off DD.  I absolutely will bear daughter in mind for future gigs though, like if we have a family wedding to attend on a weekend or something.  Thanks so much for understanding, I do apologize for the nanny over stepping."

Perfect.

bah12

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2012, 05:25:02 PM »
Well, I think that CS has the obligation to explain to the neighbor's daughter that she didn't have the authority to make that arrangement in the first place.  But, I also understand that now you are in the position to say something.  I'd go with the truth:

"Neighbor's daughter, I appreciate your willingness to help us watch DD a couple of days a week.  Unfortunately, that arrangement was made by our previous nanny who didn't have the authority to hire someone else and we had to let her go.  Our needs are for someone who is available every day of the week and who can drive DD to and from school and her activities.  I'll be hiring someone who is able to accommodate that need fully.  I'm sorry for the confusion and hope your understand. If I ever need help during the weekends or another time I will let you know/keep you in mind (whatever you want to say here). "

donnamos2

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2012, 05:25:39 PM »
Eden:

I was told that her rate was justified by the fact that she had taken a Red Cross course in first aid, including CPR.  Good to know that the teenager is so prepared.

Peregrine

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2012, 05:28:07 PM »
If it were me, I would absolutely couch the discussion with the teen and her parents in the terms that you need someone with a drivers license and a car.  I would also mention that you will keep the teen in mind for future weekend of nighttime babysitting jobs, even if you don't really need to use her regularly, a back up sitter can be useful at times.  Even if you needed her to act as a mother's helper to keep an eye on baby while you are doing other work around the house.

We have run into a similar conundrum with our next door neighbor teen and pre-teen who want to babysit for us.  Since my parents live in the area, they get first call on the babysitting.  I am also not comfortable with a 14 and 11 year old babysitting for my pre-verbal child.  I have let them know that I don't need anyone at present, but that if I ever need someone to play with the baby while I am doing house-work or summer canning I will have them over.

Bluenomi

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2012, 06:06:23 PM »
Since CS hired the teenager, she can fire her too! Why should OP have to do it when it was done without her knowing? OP had already told CS that since her new class hours weren't going to work so she'd be out of a job before CS told her about teenager.

Judah

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2012, 06:11:43 PM »
"Neighbor's daughter, I appreciate your willingness to help us watch DD a couple of days a week.  Unfortunately, that arrangement was made by our previous nanny who didn't have the authority to hire someone else and we had to let her go.  Our needs are for someone who is available every day of the week and who can drive DD to and from school and her activities.  I'll be hiring someone who is able to accommodate that need fully.  I'm sorry for the confusion and hope your understand. If I ever need help during the weekends or another time I will let you know/keep you in mind (whatever you want to say here). "

I like this wording if you would actually be willing to hire the teenager if she could meet the requirements. If you wouldn't be willing to hire her, don't make it sound like you would. 
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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Hmmmmm

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2012, 06:18:24 PM »
"Neighbor's daughter, I appreciate your willingness to help us watch DD a couple of days a week.  Unfortunately, that arrangement was made by our previous nanny who didn't have the authority to hire someone else and we had to let her go.  Our needs are for someone who is available every day of the week and who can drive DD to and from school and her activities.  I'll be hiring someone who is able to accommodate that need fully.  I'm sorry for the confusion and hope your understand. If I ever need help during the weekends or another time I will let you know/keep you in mind (whatever you want to say here). "

I like this wording if you would actually be willing to hire the teenager if she could meet the requirements. If you wouldn't be willing to hire her, don't make it sound like you would.

This because teen could end up with a drivers license pretty soon. 

dawbs

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2012, 06:22:58 PM »
"Neighbor's daughter, I appreciate your willingness to help us watch DD a couple of days a week.  Unfortunately, that arrangement was made by our previous nanny who didn't have the authority to hire someone else and we had to let her go.  Our needs are for someone who is available every day of the week and who can drive DD to and from school and her activities.  I'll be hiring someone who is able to accommodate that need fully.  I'm sorry for the confusion and hope your understand. If I ever need help during the weekends or another time I will let you know/keep you in mind (whatever you want to say here). "

I like this wording if you would actually be willing to hire the teenager if she could meet the requirements. If you wouldn't be willing to hire her, don't make it sound like you would.

This because teen could end up with a drivers license pretty soon.
with the 'she'll be driving next month' possibility on the table, I'd tweak Bah's wording (which I like) to:

...our needs are for someone who is both a driver and is legally an adult to be available...
possibly tacking in 'liability' or somesuch if you'd like.

nuit93

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2012, 06:38:15 PM »
"Neighbor's daughter, I appreciate your willingness to help us watch DD a couple of days a week.  Unfortunately, that arrangement was made by our previous nanny who didn't have the authority to hire someone else and we had to let her go.  Our needs are for someone who is available every day of the week and who can drive DD to and from school and her activities.  I'll be hiring someone who is able to accommodate that need fully.  I'm sorry for the confusion and hope your understand. If I ever need help during the weekends or another time I will let you know/keep you in mind (whatever you want to say here). "

I like this wording if you would actually be willing to hire the teenager if she could meet the requirements. If you wouldn't be willing to hire her, don't make it sound like you would.

This because teen could end up with a drivers license pretty soon.
with the 'she'll be driving next month' possibility on the table, I'd tweak Bah's wording (which I like) to:

...our needs are for someone who is both a driver and is legally an adult to be available...
possibly tacking in 'liability' or somesuch if you'd like.

I agree with this, unless you're willing to allow a 16-17 year old to do the job if they are otherwise responsible enough.

LazyDaisy

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2012, 06:49:37 PM »
I don't think you need to make any justifications about ability to drive or age or anything. A simple, "I'm sorry but the arrangement you made with CS doesn't work for me. I had to let her go and I'll be choosing another part-time nanny." If she or her parents press for more detail, "It doesn't work for me." lather rinse repeat. I would think that as soon as neighbor girl learns that CS was let go, she'd know that their arrangement is also void.
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JenJay

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Re: Not The Original Plan!
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2012, 06:58:30 PM »
I think $15 per hour for babysitting one child is nuts, and I was a full time nanny who was trained in CPR, early childhood development, etc. If we were talking specialized care, some type of therapy, one-on-one educating, etc. fine. Hanging out playing until Mom gets home? That's too steep IMO.

I agree that unless you'd be willing to hire her once she has a license I wouldn't use that as an excuse to pass her over. I'd either explain that her rates were higher than I was looking to pay (if you'd be willing to hire her if she was willing to charge less). I really like a PP's suggestion that you tell her you're looking for a legal adult.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2012, 07:39:32 PM by JenJay »