Not The Original Plan! *Small Update P. 17*

[blarg314]

I'd contact her the family, and say that you're really sorry, but that the college student did this without your knowledge, and the arrangement doesn't work for you - you need someone who is a legal adult and can do the job full time.

I wouldn't make it about the license, because then you'll have her coming back when she's sixteen, and a sixteen year old with a new license is a very different thing than a college student with driving experience and their own car.

I'm curious what the college student was paid, though. Did she really get $15 dollars an hour for the after school sitting? I would expect her to get more than the teen, in any event, as she's providing the use of a car.

The appropriate way for the college student to handle things would have been to ask you if they could subcontract the job out for a few hours a week, and then pay the teen out of their own salary, *if* you agreed.

[suzieQ]

I don't make $15 per hour and I have 12 kindergarten age kids every day!

[donnamos2]

What was I paying CS?  I was paying her $10/hour, but compensating her for mileage and subsidizing her car insurance.  After all, the biggest part of the job is driving.  I think, once it's all broken down, it works out to about $15/hour.

I do think that the neighbor teen is asking a bit much. However, I do like that she took the Red Cross course.

I've already got my mother handling the chauffering of Babymoss for the rest of the week, and two interviews with other local college students this weekend.  One girl I really liked told me on the phone that her spring semester class schedule was full of late afternoon labs, which was too bad.  But the others seem qualified, and have the hours free.  So we'll see.

Now, I just have to gear myself up to go talk to the neighbors.

[LifeOnPluto]

Since CS hired the teenager, she can fire her too! Why should OP have to do it when it was done without her knowing? OP had already told CS that since her new class hours weren't going to work so she'd be out of a job before CS told her about teenager.

I agree with this, but unfortunately - now that CS has been fired - I can't imagine her going out of her way to do anything more for the OP. So it looks like the OP is stuck with the job of telling the teenager that the arrangement isn't happening.

[gorplady]

Donna, how old is your baby? Would you feel comfortable with a high school student watching her?

[donnamos2]

Babymoss is young enough that she still isn't having overnights with XH.  But I might be okay w/neighbor teen watching her for a few hours.  The biggest reason I don't really consider it right now is because I already have three sets of local grandparents who are always chomping at the bit to babysit. Seriously, they're all so eager that I sometimes feel like Babymoss' appointment secretary.

[gorplady]

So wouldn't they be able to watch her regularly, instead of you having a part-time nanny or instead of teenage girl?

And, I apologize, but I don't know how young too young is to not spend nights with her dad, unless she is nursing.

Edited to add: Speaking of your XH, where is he in all of this?

[donnamos2]

gorplady: Babymoss' grandparents want to spend time w/her, not just shuttle her around to her activities.  They're willing to do so, and actually do quite a bit.  But, like me, they are either working full-time or part-time and it isn't the easiest thing to plan. This part-time nanny option is the most consistent and reliable plan I've got, and everyone's on board with it (who do you think is helping pay for it?).

And where is XH in all this?  Please.  You're kidding, right? His parents see Babymoss more than he does.  Child support is spotty, too.  I know his parents are embarrassed by a lot of his behavior, though they'd never say so, especially not to me.  I think that's what motivates them to be so involved and help financially (and no, there is no agreement of any type to forgive XH's child support arrears in exchange for their assistance ).

[johelenc1]

I realize it's besides the fact, but I actually think your babysitter had a great idea.  She should have suggested it to you instead of checking it out on her own, but unless there was something about the neighbor teen you don't like, it could have been an ideal situation (assuming you also otherwise liked your babysitter).

School schedules change - it happens.  Having a neighbor run down the street to watch babymoss for an hour twice a week was a great solution.  You could have even taking a little extra time to run to the store or do an errand if you needed to.  You would have also gotten to know another babysitter in a short term situation and would have had a babysitting option if you ever needed one and all your family was busy.  Paying her $15 an hour would be ridiculous, but you could have probably worked that out - or added some chores to make it worth it - folding laundry, etc.

Although I think you actually over-reacted to your babysitter's attempts to help you find a solution, all you need to do for the neighbor is just tell her you are actually hiring another nanny who can cover all the hours.

[LTrew]

I don't think it is an overreaction at all.  If the nanny had come to her with the idea as a suggestion that would be one thing, but to brandish it as a fait accompli is a whole different kettle of fish.

[learningtofly]

I don't think you overreacted and I think neighbor kid charges way too much.  I live in a major city and babysitters are expected to be expensive.  But the 20 yr old nanny who babysits for us on occasion charges $12/hour.  Her mother the teacher charges $17.  Charging $15/hour may be why neighbor kid isn't getting jobs.

We have a neighbor kid who wants to babysit.  She seems nice enough and I might try it on an afternoon I'm home but working outside.  But no way is she being left alone with my child.  I don't know her and most importantly DD doesn't know her.  DD would not be happy.  My babysitter has brought along friends who want to get more practice babysitting and spending time around kids.  But she asks me before bringing anyone over to meet my child and she has never left that person with my child.  CS overstepped and now she's out of a job.  I hope you find a new nanny soon.

[rose red]

I don't think the OP overreacted either.  Who would like someone else hiring a stranger to watch your kid?  In the office, would the receptionist hire someone without the boss's permission?

As for babysitting rate, I wouldn't mind paying $15 if the babysitter is worth it and if I can afford it.  Especially if it's only a few hours a week and not a full time 40/hr week job.  This is my child afterall.  If the babysitter is just going to sit there to make sure nothing happens, no.  But there are babysitters who are worth their weight in gold.  But again, I'll be the one interviewing, checking references, and hiring, not the former babysitter.

[Mikayla]

Since CS hired the teenager, she can fire her too! Why should OP have to do it when it was done without her knowing? OP had already told CS that since her new class hours weren't going to work so she'd be out of a job before CS told her about teenager.

I agree with this, but unfortunately - now that CS has been fired - I can't imagine her going out of her way to do anything more for the OP. So it looks like the OP is stuck with the job of telling the teenager that the arrangement isn't happening.

I agree, but I actually see it as a good thing.  I think CS showed horrible judgment in what she did, and I would not want her as my spokesperson as to how this came down.  If not handled sensitively, I'd be the one getting the fallout, in which case I'd be explaining it anyway.

OP, I think you're best off keeping it vague, so you don't limit or over-define your future options.  You could say you're "trying" to find someone with nanny experience, a SAHM who wants part-time work, etc.  This gives you some leeway if you don't succeed.  And if you think the teen is suitable for the occasional gig, you could say you'll keep that in mind, too. 

[BeagleMommy]

OP, I think you need to keep it simple.  Something like "Neighbor, the arrangement you made with CS regarding babysitting was not authorized by me.  I'm sorry, but this arrangement will not work."

[NyaChan]

I would add in a "I wish she had checked with me before speaking with you so that you wouldn't have gotten incorrect information."