Remember this lady?

[LB]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the input. Diane was definitely not joking. I don't mean to sound dismissive of the idea, and I realize I was already flustered when it happened. But, I have known this woman for a long time. She was absolutely showing me her disapproval when I looked up. As  I said, I didn't hear the "chattering" comment. DH says it may actually have just been a passing comment, but it annoyed him because DS was really just quietly babbling to me.

Someone asked if any other children were at this dinner. No, DS was the only one this night. But that's fairly normal. Sometimes he's the only one, sometimes there is another. Sometimes we don't bring him and there are no kids. Sometimes we don't bring him and someone else brings a grand kid. So, I don't think we were changing the overall dynamic of the group. Diane is a moody sort of person. I guess we caught her on a bad day. Regardless of her bad day, I'm hurt by her words that night.

We've felt close to many members over the years. This club turned one of our monthly meetings into a baby shower when I was pregnant. Several of them (ironically, including Diane) made comments about how many "grandparents" our kid would have (meaning club members).

I have commented to DH before that we are definitely in a different part of our lives than most members. Which may explain their waning interest in the hobby while DH and I are still quite interested and involved. The club is more of a dinner and traveling companions club than it is related to the hobby anymore. But we had been reluctant to leave because of our long history and relationship with so many members.

But, as many of you have been saying, it looks like its just time to leave. We are regularly in touch with our good friends from the club anyway. Leaving will not make it harder to keep up with them.

And Yankeegal - you know what? You're right. It is so tempting to "flounce" as you put it. Get off our parting shots. But you're right. That would not be the classy thing to do. I will talk to DH about our resignation letter. Short, general, no finger pointing. Thank you.

[Jones]

snipped

 Short, general, no finger pointing. Thank you.

You will be a great example for Pearl, who could do with a little less finger pointing before she gets her hand slapped. 

[LB]

snipped

 Short, general, no finger pointing. Thank you.

You will be a great example for Pearl, who could do with a little less finger pointing before she gets her hand slapped. 

Lol! Thanks. I needed to laugh right now. 

[mindicherry]

I think you need to find another group to hang out with.

You say that children are welcome because other members bring their grandchildren.  To me, that means that you are likely one of the youngest members there, or the only "new" (I know 18 months isn't "new", but you know what I mean) mom in a room full of grandmas who just ASSUME that their advice is welcome (or couples w/o kids, which you may have been when you joined).

If that is the case, then you will just have to resign yourself to being in a room for of grandmas who CLEARLY know better than you (I think I would rather perform root canal on myself than be in that room), or just find another group to be with. 

It's not wrong to change friendship circles as your tastes and tolerance (for others behavior changes).  it just is what it is.

of course - if you enjoy the company of everyone else in that group and want to stay - you are just going to have to get firm with Pearl and possibly give her the cold shoulder and a bunch of "I don't think that will be possible".  I have been in groups where there was a member that I was giving the cut direct to and it isn't always comfortable...but after a few meetings, it gets more natural.

I wouldn't let Pearl near my child again!