Author Topic: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture  (Read 1245 times)

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mmswm

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Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« on: December 06, 2012, 09:12:11 PM »
As I've mentioned before, I'm currently staying with friends.  I've been here for a little over two months.  The last 6 months have been horrific for me between medical issues with the boys, losing my home, having to live in a homeless shelter for a little while, and then going halfway across the country for a particular surgeon.  My personal life is a mess right now.  I've attempted to find housing here, but to no avail.  Things are really bad right now.  I've finally made the decision that although my parents can be somewhat toxic, I can't impose on friends anymore either.  I'm going to drive back "home" (4000 miles.  Yippie.) 

I want to do something nice for my friends, but I'm dead broke.  They have housed me, helped me with the kids, treated me and the boys like a member of their own family.  I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for everything they've done for me. I'm at a loss for what to do to express my thanks.  I'm hoping some of the more creative ehellions can help me come up with an appropriate thank you gift or gesture.

Thanks!
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Lynn2000

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2012, 09:29:28 PM »
((((mmswm))))

I think there isn't, necessarily, an adequate way to express your thanks, and maybe the best thing you can do is accept that, not forget the obligation, and be there for your friends later if they need you. And keep in touch with them even though you're moving far away and have a lot going on, so they don't feel like it's "out of sight, out of mind."

I personally would find meaning in a heartfelt, specific note written to me by a friend in this situation, something I could keep and look at later. And that would cost basically nothing to make, but time.
~Lynn2000

Amara

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2012, 10:53:31 PM »
I agree. A handwritten letter that talks about what they mean to you and what their help did for you. Don't worry about finding the "right" words; just write what's in your heart, and if tears fall on the paper while you write it then those are part of it too. That letter will be treasured, I am sure.

NyaChan

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2012, 01:42:07 AM »
I agree that a letter would be a nice gesture

sweetonsno

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2012, 03:39:01 AM »
A handwritten letter would be wonderful. If you have any sort of special skills, you could make a small book that includes instructions and stories. For instance, if you're great at organizing, you could write a funny story about something that happened with these people on one page, and a relevant tip on the other. (Say, for instance, she accidentally sprinkled salt all over the strawberries she served at a birthday party. You could suggest using color-coded lids to organize her spice cupboard, or keep the sweet spices on one shelf and the savory on another.)

CakeEater

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2012, 04:39:31 AM »
And please don't feel bad about not buying something bigger. If your friends know your situation, and obviously they do, I suspect that you spending your money on them would make them feel pretty bad.

mmswm

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2012, 11:10:19 AM »
A handwritten letter would be wonderful. If you have any sort of special skills, you could make a small book that includes instructions and stories. For instance, if you're great at organizing, you could write a funny story about something that happened with these people on one page, and a relevant tip on the other. (Say, for instance, she accidentally sprinkled salt all over the strawberries she served at a birthday party. You could suggest using color-coded lids to organize her spice cupboard, or keep the sweet spices on one shelf and the savory on another.)

Oh, this is a wonderful idea! I've spent a bit of time doing some minor household repairs while I've been here (broken toilet, broken bathtub faucet, loose door handles).  Maybe I could put together a little how-to for basic stuff like that!

I wanted to do the letter, but I was afraid it might seem trite.  These people have been so wonderful to me, that a letter just seemed so little. Thanks for all your input!
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

CakeBeret

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2012, 11:20:06 AM »
I also would write a letter.

And perhaps, six months or a year from now, when things are looking up for you, send them something nice out of the blue.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

O'Dell

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Re: Appropriate thank you gift/gesture
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2012, 11:51:43 AM »
A handwritten letter would be wonderful. If you have any sort of special skills, you could make a small book that includes instructions and stories. For instance, if you're great at organizing, you could write a funny story about something that happened with these people on one page, and a relevant tip on the other. (Say, for instance, she accidentally sprinkled salt all over the strawberries she served at a birthday party. You could suggest using color-coded lids to organize her spice cupboard, or keep the sweet spices on one shelf and the savory on another.)

Oh, this is a wonderful idea! I've spent a bit of time doing some minor household repairs while I've been here (broken toilet, broken bathtub faucet, loose door handles).  Maybe I could put together a little how-to for basic stuff like that!

I wanted to do the letter, but I was afraid it might seem trite.  These people have been so wonderful to me, that a letter just seemed so little. Thanks for all your input!

Not at all trite! Well maybe if you scribbled thanks on some notebook paper and sailed out the door. ;) I had a couple staying with me for a month and knew they appreciated it and that was thanks enough really. A nice letter with heartfelt thanks with some of the things that you've said here would be very nice.

Personally the best thing that I could have heard (or read in a letter) was that the kindness would be "paid forward". Even if you never have a chance to do something for these friends, you can help someone else once you are back on your feet and in a position to do so. I would love to hear that if I were your friends, but that might just be me.

Sending some hugs and positive vibes to you and hoping you get everything sorted soon.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman