I honestly dont know. Here's the situation from my perspective - I wont pretend to be objective:
I am going on vacation soon with my
dbf. I have been saving for this trip since February, and have probably put in a good 25 hours of research into it over the summer. I am really, really looking forward to this vacation (I have taken a full, albeit part-time, courseload this entire year, mostly concentrated in the last 3 months, had several disasters with my apartment and a business trip, and had family illnesses to deal with, I am moving, plus a few other smaller things. I am *really* looking forward to this vacation).
I just found out from my bf that his aunt and uncle will be vacationing in the same city that we will be vacationing in AND he wants to have dinner with them one night while we are there. I understand why he wants to, but I am opposed to this idea for two main reasons - 1. Ok, so there's a part of me that thinks, it's my vacation and that is NOT how I want to spend it (his aunt doesnt like me, though its not overt, and I really just want to spend time with him). 2. More importantly, I have issues with the boundaries that he sets around us and with his family, and I am trying to get him to understand that it is ok to set firmer and more spacious boundaries. I feel like this is a good situation to do that, since I dont want to do it.
Important details from his perspective:
-He hasnt seen them in about a year, but he talks to them every few weeks/1ce per month on the phone.
-His family is very close, and they are always traveling to see each other, sometimes driving 10000 miles to visit for a few days.
-He thinks it is "only appropriate" to have dinner with them while we are there, that it would be offensive if we didnt.
-If the situation were reversed, he would expect to have dinner with my family if we were in the same place at the same time.
So, while I understand why he wants to, and I honestly am not necessarily opposed to having dinner with family members if we happen to be in the same place at the same time, I dont want to *this* time because 1. His aunt doesnt like me 2. It's my vacation*, and that's just not how I want to spend it (I would be nervous around these family members, so not an enjoyable time and most of the conversation would be in another language). 3. I want him to set a boundary here and say no, 4. He didnt ask me if I wanted to have dinner with them, he just sortof expected that we would because he thinks it would be appropriate to do so because that's how his family works.
So, fire away. Am I being unreasonable? Is it really offensive if we dont have dinner with them?
*emphasis on "vacation" and not on "my (wahh, wahhh!) vacation"