Author Topic: How to live next to a crabby neighbor  (Read 10442 times)

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WillyNilly

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #45 on: December 12, 2012, 09:57:01 AM »
I really do appreciate all of the helpful comments.  The noises continue every morning.  The odd thing is that even though these neighbors are retired and are home all day, they only make significant noise early in the morning, between 6 and 8.  What I've wondered is why they can't do whatever it is they're doing in their home office any other time of the day.  I was hoping they would get that idea when I wrote the times that we usually leave the house in the morning.  If she denies that they make any noise in there, when I can clearly hear them, then it seems clear that they are not willing to be helpful, and have returned to their activities with gusto.

Here's the thing you have to understand though - if you aren't willing to change your habits (go to bed earlier/wake up earlier) why do you think they should?  Its unreasonable to ask they change their habits to suit your needs when you could just as easily change your habits to suit your needs.

The thing with noise is it travels strangely.  I live in an apartment.  When I moved in the lady downstairs from me started complaining about the excessive noise I made.  The terrible bangs and crashes and other sounds.  At first I tried to accommodate her and change my ways.  But the complaints kept coming.  She called management one day over the "jumping" going on in my apartment that day.  I had been at work all day.  The only one home was my at the time 13 year old, 9lb, arthritic cat who by that age wouldn't jump off anything higher then the arm of the sofa.  Then the next month she called management again to complain about noise at night.  I came home for 4 days in Europe to that message.  Clearly whatever she was hearing was either not from my apartment or was amplified in ridiculous ways.  The final straw was when she called me up one Sunday afternoon and gave me the most vile telling off I have ever heard in my whole life over me vacuuming.  Vacuuming.  At about 2 or 3 pm.  Oh the nasty, awful, cruel, verbally abusive things she said over my noise making.

I never once cared a hoot about trying to be quiet after that. Even if the noises were originating from my apartment these were normal life sounds, that were somehow changing as they traveled through the walls and floor.

I now have a neighbor to my side, new as of a few months ago.  I hear strange banging, thuds often.  Sometimes wall shaking thuds.  Very odd sounds indeed with no rhyme or reason or rhythm.  But I'm also on my co-op board and the president lives below these people and she has never complained about the noises (and trust me, she would). So whatever they are, the sound isn't traveling down, only over. So I chalk it up to apartment life and do my best to ignore it.

And that's what you need to just do.  Just go on with your life.  Ignore your neighbor's noise.  And ignore their crabbiness.  If you want to ignore them totally you can do that, if you want to ignore there was an issue and just smile and wave and wish them a nice day, you can do that too.  Do whatever works best for you, as clearly that's what they are doing (whatever works best for them). Don't grant them power over your life, but also don't expect to wield power over theirs.

anonymousmac

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #46 on: December 12, 2012, 12:44:36 PM »
The odd thing is that even though these neighbors are retired and are home all day, they only make significant noise early in the morning, between 6 and 8.  What I've wondered is why they can't do whatever it is they're doing in their home office any other time of the day. 

Is it possible that the sound is coming from the pipes, when they take their morning showers?  Sometimes water pipes, or steam heat coming on in the morning, can make some awful clanging that sounds like someone's banging a hammer right next to your ear.

I'm not sure what to do about that, but it might explain both the noise and her angry insistence that they're not actually moving furniture around every morning.

I wish you luck! 

VorFemme

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #47 on: December 12, 2012, 06:37:12 PM »
The gas hot water heater is in the attic right over my bed.  I can almost sleep through someone taking a shower...it's the banging, popping, and clanging (? how does it do THAT) that wakes me up.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

SiotehCat

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #48 on: December 12, 2012, 07:49:03 PM »
The gas hot water heater is in the attic right over my bed.  I can almost sleep through someone taking a shower...it's the banging, popping, and clanging (? how does it do THAT) that wakes me up.

I had wanted to ask the OP if she were positive that it was the neighbors making the noises. Could it be something else?

I rent a corner townhouse, so I only have one neighbor attached. A few months after moving here, I woke up very early in the morning to use the restroom. As I entered the restroom, I heard the neighbor hammering something on their side. I was a little annoyed but went back to bed.

For over a week, I kept waking up at the same time to use the restroom. Every single day, I heard the neighbor working away at whatever carpentry job he was doing. I grew more and more annoyed.

To shorten this up, it wasn't the neighbor at all. It was our pipes. They are very old and make some of the weirdest noises I have ever heard. I am used to them now, but at the time it really sounded like the neighbor was building something.

OP, could it be that the neighbors really aren't the ones making noise?

VorFemme

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #49 on: December 13, 2012, 07:05:06 PM »
If it is the pipes - I learned how to get rid of water hammer a few years back!

Turn off the water supply to the whole house.   Turn on a water faucet as low in the house as you can get - you want to drain ALL the water possible out of the plumbing.  Let it completely drain (this is why you have the water supply turned off).

Turn the water back on and the pipes will refill - but the air space at the top of the house will be restored (over years the air gets absorbed or too humid to properly cushion the noise in the pipes - I forget the details).  Your pipes will no longer be making nearly as much noise.

Sadly, the gas water heater can still be making noises as the gas turns on to heat water while the rest of the family is showering, shaving, and so forth at 5:45 am on a school day.  I learned to sleep with a pillow over my head...it's not perfect - but it helps.

The pillow also keeps my ears warmer and the light out of my eyes.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Drawberry

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #50 on: December 13, 2012, 08:01:46 PM »
Here's the thing you have to understand though - if you aren't willing to change your habits (go to bed earlier/wake up earlier) why do you think they should?  Its unreasonable to ask they change their habits to suit your needs when you could just as easily change your habits to suit your needs.


Because the OP is not nailing frames into the wall at 5:30AM. The OP's schedule has had no effect on the neighbors and until it does I see no need to consider that route.

The OP is not noisy or loud or invading the space of her neighbors which is why she should not have to change her schedule just to get a good night sleep.

If she where hanging drywall at 2am that would be a different story, but she isn't. She's just going about her life as quietly as possible (as expressed by her purposefully keeping the 'noisy' electronics on the opposite side of their home so as not to bother her neighbors), until this changes she should not be obligated to adjust her life in order to have a peaceful nights rest.

wolfie

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #51 on: December 13, 2012, 08:06:55 PM »
Here's the thing you have to understand though - if you aren't willing to change your habits (go to bed earlier/wake up earlier) why do you think they should?  Its unreasonable to ask they change their habits to suit your needs when you could just as easily change your habits to suit your needs.


Because the OP is not nailing frames into the wall at 5:30AM. The OP's schedule has had no effect on the neighbors and until it does I see no need to consider that route.

The OP is not noisy or loud or invading the space of her neighbors which is why she should not have to change her schedule just to get a good night sleep.

If she where hanging drywall at 2am that would be a different story, but she isn't. She's just going about her life as quietly as possible (as expressed by her purposefully keeping the 'noisy' electronics on the opposite side of their home so as not to bother her neighbors), until this changes she should not be obligated to adjust her life in order to have a peaceful nights rest.

You make a good point but it doesn't matter - she can't make the other couple change their habits. So it looks like either she changes or she doesn't sleep.

PastryGoddess

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #52 on: December 14, 2012, 12:21:32 AM »
Here is an example of rigid foam insulation sheets.  They come in several sizes and you should be able to get both the insulation for the wall and paint for between $50-$75.  From experience I'd recommend you prime first before painting them. 

Home Depot


Lowes

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Re: How to live next to a crabby neighbor
« Reply #53 on: December 14, 2012, 01:15:42 AM »
My brother lived next door to a crabby neighbour. The sort of person who doesn't like to hear kids having fun. Anyway, one day he told her they would replace the fence and she angrily retorted "Over my dead body." The situation happily resolved itself as the very next week she died. My brother said he had an alibi.  >:D

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