General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Keep my head down and stay smiling...? Update #16

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--- Quote from: amylouky on December 07, 2012, 10:30:25 AM ---I definitely wouldn't say anything.. to me, approaching HR (especially when it's people you know) for any reason would look like you're trying to point out that you know Gish and are trying to influence them to hire him.

--- End quote ---

This is what I was thinking as well.  No one has asked, so I wouldn't worry about it.

gen xer:
I used to work with DH years ago....and I currently work in HR.  You have been straightforward and upfront from the start.  If there was any issue / concern it would have been HR's responsibility to have dealt with it at the time.
Personally I think it best not to plant ideas or sow the seeds of doubt in people's heads that may never have occurred to them in the first place.  If something comes up you will be able to deal with it as you sound like you are a professional and conscientous employee.
Good luck  :)     


--- Quote from: WonderWoman on December 07, 2012, 10:47:54 AM ---I have some personal experience here as my DH and I have worked for the same company. Very similarly, I already worked there when DH interviewed.

Definitely do not seek out anyone to talk about how you working with your SO wouldn't affect work, you're not couple-y, etc. Only if asked about it, volunteer some casual information about how you both separate personal and work life.

There was some concern from higher ups about having us both on staff. But I had a good reputation as being professional and drama-free and DH was an excellent fit so they gave it a shot. It has worked out great.

Our jobs don't intersect much. But if we find ourselves at a meeting together, we sit separately. We treat each other like co-workers. Definitely no kissy face, hugs, pet names, touching, etc.

In fact, unless they're told, most people have no idea we're married. It has led to some really funny conversations when people notice that he and I have photos of the same child in our offices.

Good luck - hope he gets the job!

--- End quote ---

I have worked with and work with people like you. There are at least three couples i can think of off the top of my head who i had no idea were married or what.

I have taken your collective advice and kept to myself as i usually do. I worked with and really respect the people with whom Gish had his interview; but i have not gone out of my way to talk to them.

My company (prior to the merger) was known as a 'family company' - in that many, many families started there. If you were single, folks would be on the lookout for your soulmate in a different department - I lost track of how many people there were married to someone else in the company, and there were even a couple of mom, dad, kid groups. (yes, it was a bit weird. It was Arkansas. Those things are normal there.... )

We merged, and now work for GiantCorp. We still have lots of folks that are newly married in the company. It's not an issue unless there's a direct supervisor/employee relationship - and the one of those I know of is going well.

I wouldn't expect that HR will contact you.  Like a PP said, office policies differ but either intra-company relationships are permitted or they are not.  If there are no rules against couples in the office, or if the position that Gish is applying for meets whatever couple criteria your company has (like no supervisory relationship or working in the same department), then they won't be asking you anything about your relationship.  Because it doesn't matter and making decisions based on what they "think" the couple will do vs. what the couple "actually" does is not wise.

Did him mentioning you in the interview come up from a question they asked?  If so, then he probably gave them all the info they need.  There's no reason for you to volunteer any more.


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