Politely Turn Down Offer to Borrow Something?

[CL32]

I'm taking a college course this coming semester (starting in January) that requires several rather expensive text books. A co-worker took this course last year and when she heard that I would be taking it, she offered to lend me her textbooks. This co-worker is super-sweet and I greatly respect her. It was really nice and generous of her to offer to lend me the books. But.....I don't want to. I certainly appreciate the offer, but I really don't think I'd be able to return them in the same condition. I like to highlight and write in the margins, and sometimes I'm a little tough on my books. I would feel really bad if I damaged her property. I know that if I say this, she'll say something like "don't worry about it" or " It's OK". I just don't feel comfortable borrowing them.

This came up a few weeks ago, and we haven't discussed it since. I think it will probably come up again, and I'll have to tell her that I bought the books for myself. How can I politely decline the offer and/or explain why I bought my own? Thanks.

[amylouky]

Thanks, but I like to keep my textbooks so I can refer to them in the future?

[SamiHami]

"Oh, CW, thank you so much for the offer; I really appreciate it. I went ahead and bought my own books, though, because I tend to be hard on them. I write in them, highlight passages, that sort of thing, so I really needed to get my own. But it was so sweet of you to offer!"

[athersgeo]

Thanks, but I like to keep my textbooks so I can refer to them in the future?

POD - it's short, it's simple and, unless your co-worker was actually looking to get rid of her books altogether, unarguable.

[O'Dell]

I think in this case honesty is the best policy. "I went ahead and bought my own text books. I'm hard on them and I just wouldn't be comfortable really *using* someone else's."

Note: don't make this about not wanting to use *her* books. Make it about not wanting to borrow anyone's books.

[CL32]

Thanks all.  I know it seems like a silly question, I just hate the thought of offending someone who's really trying to be super-nice. I appreciate your responses.

[Outdoor Girl]

How about, 'I will happily buy them from you if you'd like to sell them but I wouldn't feel right borrowing them because I'm really hard on my textbooks.  If you want to keep them for future reference, I'll buy my own set rather than risk damaging yours.'

If I'd originally offered to loan my books, I might rethink and consider selling them to you.

[Craftymom]

How about, 'I will happily buy them from you if you'd like to sell them but I wouldn't feel right borrowing them because I'm really hard on my textbooks.  If you want to keep them for future reference, I'll buy my own set rather than risk damaging yours.'

If I'd originally offered to loan my books, I might rethink and consider selling them to you.

POD the bolded above. Truthful and kind.

[bopper]

Her lending is very kind as you don't have to pay money.
But you want to highlight them.
Do you want them to use after the class? If no,
I would ask her if you could buy them from her as you like to highlight them.
If you want your own copy then say "I like to highlight the books and I think I will be needing them for a future course but thank you so much for your offer.  I wouldn't mind borrowing your notes however. I would not write on those."

[Zilla]

I would have said that you are planning on buying them and thanks for her offer.  And maybe she might or will offer to sell her textbooks.

[Lynn2000]

I like Outdoor Girl's response, offering to buy the textbooks from her, because you plan to highlight and write in them.

If she wants hers to remain pristine, and in her possession for the future, she can say no; and you go buy your own.

If she'd rather have the money than the books, she can say yes; and you buy them from her.

Or she might insist that you borrow, then return, them anyway, and treat them however you want. In which case you can refuse if you feel uncomfortable; or accept knowing that you told her upfront what would happen, and gave her an out.

[boxy]

I think in this case honesty is the best policy. "I went ahead and bought my own text books. I'm hard on them and I just wouldn't be comfortable really *using* someone else's."

Note: don't make this about not wanting to use *her* books. Make it about not wanting to borrow anyone's books.

^^This^^

[cicero]

you got good advice here -  remember, it's not rude to turn down an offer like this. your co worker is being very kind to you but you don't have to take her up on it.

I would however, as PPs suggetsed, ask her if she is looking to sell (after you check the average prices online).

[jpcher]

Since you already bought the books, I agree with this:

Thanks, but I like to keep my textbooks so I can refer to them in the future?

Along with telling her that you really like to mark-up your personally owned books for your own study, so borrowing her books wouldn't fit in with your study-style.

Tell her "Thank you very much" for the offer, but this works out better for you in the long run.