My aunt recently was moved into a nursing home. Her daughter “Cuz1” managed the move and cleared out Aunt’s house. I told Cuz1 that if there were old family documents she didn’t want, I would like to have them. Cuz1 sent me several large boxes of wonderful stuff. It will take me years to sort through it all, but I’ve already come across photos, letters, and genealogical records for Cuz1’s father’s family (not blood related to me).
Cuz1 and I have a bond, but we communicate only occasionally, mostly about her mother. I am much closer to her brother “Cuz2”, who has an interest in genealogy. I informed Cuz2 what I’d found and said I’d send it to him. He was excited about it.
Yesterday I spoke to Cuz1 on the phone, and she was upset that I was planning to send the documents to her brother. She says she doesn’t want the documents permanently, but wants to look through them. She demanded I send them to her. She said she would forward them to her brother later, but she doesn’t always get around to doing the things she says she’ll do.
So, to whom do I send the documents? And what do I say to the other cuz?
- I promised the documents to Cuz2 first.
- Cuz1 showed no interest in the documents before she found out I’d promised them to Cuz2. She did not examine the contents of the boxes before sending them to me.
- Cuz1 spent a large sum to ship the boxes and refused reimbursement.
- Most of the documents cannot be copied easily.