Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?

[Shoo]

Yes, this would have bothered me.  I think I would have looked at her and said, "What do you mean?"  Put her on the spot.  Make her explain her stupid, idiotic remark.  And then I'd make sure her tip reflected the insult she'd just paid me.

[Amara]

Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

[JennJenn68]

If it had been anywhere other than a restaurant, I would have smiled politely and said, "Yes.  Now, are there tomatoes or not?"  Why make waves when one is a guest?

But this is a restaurant.  The OP is ordering and presumably paying for a meal for his/her own enjoyment.  Why the heck would anybody want to choke down something he/she doesn't like (never mind cannot tolerate, doesn't actually like) and be expected to pay for it?)  It was a valid question asked--"Are there tomatoes?"  It's incredibly dismissive of the server to respond, "Oh, like a kid?"  No.  Kids don't generally pay for their own meals to a business that deals in making tasty food for paying customers.  (And kids aren't the ones who determine what a server is tipped.  I smell Professional Darwinism here.)

My take would have been the Glacial Eye Of Death.  I'm told that it can be felt from behind, according to my husband.  And then I would simply have repeated the question.  It's my food; I have the right of veto power if there's something in it that I don't like or don't want.  I'm paying for it.  The server's job is to take the order and serve the food, not to question my preferences, judgement, or indeed anything else.

(And yes, I have worked in the service industry.  I would never have dreamed of making such a comment, even if I was convinced that said customer was being the ultimate Special Snowflake.  The customer is paying for the meal.  He/she calls the shots.  It wasn't as if the OP was asking for special alterations to be made to the menu; just information requested as to the ingredients therein.)

[CakeBeret]

I would say "Excuse me?" with a stony face, and then repeat my question. I might ask for the manager, depending on my mood. And I would certainly make sure the tip reflected my displeasure.

[Jones]

Could have been worse.

[Barb3000]

"No. Not like a kid, like an adult. You know, the ones who buy meals in restaurants and leave tips. Remember them?"

Well, I would have been tempted to say that....

[MummySweet]

Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

POD.   It's important to remember that everyone has foot-in-mouth issues occasionally.  If her service was good otherwise, I wouldn't give it a second thought.    For the record, I too detest tomatoes (except spaghetti and pizza sauce... no chunks.)

[Rusty]

My DH hates tomatoes also.  His stock standard reply to anyone anywhere in any situation is "I don't eat tomatoes".  End of subject.   If anyone persists,  repeat,  "I don't eat tomatoes, do you have a problem with that".  Works every time.

[mj]

Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

This. 

[DottyG]

Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

This. 

This squared.

We all have a "foot in mouth" moment occasionally. Unfortunate that hers happened as a server. But it's not like a huge crime. To leave the restaurant because of it (assuming that I liked the food and wanted to eat there) and some of the other responses here seem excessive given the fact that she had a human moment that's happened to all of us at one time or another. I bet she was mentally kicking herself afterwards.

[Christabeldreams]

Oh my, would that bother me. However, it was an innocent enough comment, so the patented "Interesting assumption" responce would be more than enough. I wouldn't let it trouble you any further.

[DottyG]

Oh my, would that bother me. However, it was an innocent enough comment, so the patented "Interesting assumption" responce would be more than enough. I wouldn't let it trouble you any further.

Agreed. "IA" would be sufficient, I think.

[VorFemme]

A "foot in mouth moment" is one thing.

A "you're the dumb one for not doing it MY way" is another.

For the record, I am a picky eater.  MOST (not all, but many) of my aversions are tastes or textures that make me feel mildly sick to my stomach.  I have found out that a couple of other relatives have allergies to the same food - I wonder if I have the very earliest stages of a developing allergy - but due to refusing to EAT the stuff, my lack of contact with what may be a potential allergen is keeping the symptoms from getting worse?  I dunno.....

There are a couple of others that give me the same sick to my stomach feeling - but the way that you get when trying to eat something that reminds you of a food that gave you violent food poisoning in the past (mustard comes to mind - I cannot abide the taste - and it doesn't "wipe off" sandwiches - bread absorbs the stuff).  I can eat something with a very small amount of mustard on it - but it is not enjoyable, it reduces eating to "refueling", and is in no way anything to look forward to. Especially not at a "nice" restaurant....where the point is the taste, the atmosphere, and the enjoyment of both. 

And I've asked to have mustard left off a sandwich or a mustard dressing left off a salad, only to get the mustard added when the kitchen went on "autopilot".  It was NOT nearly as much fun as I was expecting and with the theater tickets - I didn't have time to send it back, either.  The tip was NOT what it could have been.........

[O'Dell]

I would have been bothered too. She dismissed your food preferences as trivial while also doing the same to all kids' preferences.

I don't know why people get so bound up in others tastes. It's certainly rude to comment on them.

[DottyG]

I'm not saying the OP's dislike for tomatoes isn't real. I believe her.

I'm just saying that the server had a momentary "did I really just say something that dumb?!" moment. I suspect we've all had that at some point. And, yes, sometimes at work.