Author Topic: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?  (Read 10637 times)

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BeagleMommy

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #60 on: December 10, 2012, 02:47:16 PM »
I like tomato sauce and pizza sauce.  I cannot and will not eat a tomato that has not been run through a blender (I don't do tomato juice or soup either).  I just don't.  Even when I was a kid my mother figured if there was one vegetable I would eat (beets) she would give it to me at every dinner.  The waitress was a bit rude (like others said, probably foot-in-mouth disease).

I think my response would have been "No, like an adult who doesn't like tomatoes".

Sophia

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #61 on: December 10, 2012, 02:48:40 PM »
...I said "No. I just don't like them." She brightly said "Oh. Like a kid!"...

I stand by what I said when I said I would walk out.  The waitress was both dismissive and insulting.  I have never felt the need to walk out of a restaurant, and I used to eat out a great deal.  So, I don't think I am overly sensitive.  I'd put her comment on the same level as "Sit down and shut up."   If she hadn't meant it, she would have apologized immediately. 

Iris

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #62 on: December 10, 2012, 03:21:36 PM »
What a weird thing to say. So in her world, only kids refuse to eat certain foods they dislike, and adults eat whatever? How utterly strange.

In fairness, *all* the picky eaters I know are kids. And every one of them makes a big production out of being picky. So I can see where the waitress is coming from. I don't agree with her saying it out loud, but she certainly has a right to think it.

I don't quite understand. Are you saying that you genuinely don't know a single adult with a food that they dislike and won't eat? You've never ever been to a restaurant with someone who asked for something 'on the side' or made an enquiry about the ingredients of a dish? That's all I did. There was no production, and I asked about one ingredient. Frankly I don't think it's reasonable to compare that to childish behaviour. Honestly, I don't even remotely class myself as a picky eater. I don't eat chunks of tomato, end of story. I will eat, or at least try, just about anything else.
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MyFamily

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #63 on: December 10, 2012, 03:31:00 PM »
My problem with the term picky eaters is that it implies that everyone must like every food out there.  If someone doesn't like a certain musical artist, they have a different taste in music. If you don't like Stephen King, no one calls you picky about your reading.  Why is it okay to call someone picky because they don't like a certain food. And for the record, I'm with the OP on tomatoes, which is probably why I never force my daughter to eat mushrooms (one of my favorite's), because it is okay for her to not like them. 


"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol

Venus193

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #64 on: December 10, 2012, 03:45:34 PM »
My problem with the term picky eaters is that it implies that everyone must like every food out there.  If someone doesn't like a certain musical artist, they have a different taste in music. If you don't like Stephen King, no one calls you picky about your reading.  Why is it okay to call someone picky because they don't like a certain food. And for the record, I'm with the OP on tomatoes, which is probably why I never force my daughter to eat mushrooms (one of my favorite's), because it is okay for her to not like them.

Because some people -- for reasons perhaps unknown to themselves -- can't handle the idea that not liking something they (or most people they know) like is perfectly normal.

I don't like most cream sauces or soups or stinky cheeses.  The last food conversation I had with Blanche she mentioned Alfredo sauce and before I could say anything she said in a know-it-all tone of voice "Yes, I know; you hate dairy."  My reply was "Of all the million foods in the world, I'm entitled to not like something."  That stopped her.

Giggity

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #65 on: December 10, 2012, 06:17:21 PM »
What a weird thing to say. So in her world, only kids refuse to eat certain foods they dislike, and adults eat whatever? How utterly strange.

In fairness, *all* the picky eaters I know are kids. And every one of them makes a big production out of being picky. So I can see where the waitress is coming from. I don't agree with her saying it out loud, but she certainly has a right to think it.

I don't quite understand. Are you saying that you genuinely don't know a single adult with a food that they dislike and won't eat? You've never ever been to a restaurant with someone who asked for something 'on the side' or made an enquiry about the ingredients of a dish? That's all I did. There was no production, and I asked about one ingredient. Frankly I don't think it's reasonable to compare that to childish behaviour. Honestly, I don't even remotely class myself as a picky eater. I don't eat chunks of tomato, end of story. I will eat, or at least try, just about anything else.

Asking what's in a dish is not being picky. Asking for dressing on the side is not being picky.

Asking for half the ingredients to be substituted, that's being 1picky. When told there's tomato in a dish, saying, "Eeeew yuck, I hate tomato," that's being picky and immature.

And yes, it's correct that I equate over-the-top displays of pickiness with immaturity. By definition, if I don't notice you being picky, you're doing it right.
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Scuba_Dog

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #66 on: December 10, 2012, 07:07:28 PM »
Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

This. 

This squared.

We all have a "foot in mouth" moment occasionally. Unfortunate that hers happened as a server. But it's not like a huge crime. To leave the restaurant because of it (assuming that I liked the food and wanted to eat there) and some of the other responses here seem excessive given the fact that she had a human moment that's happened to all of us at one time or another. I bet she was mentally kicking herself afterwards.

Agree with all of the above. 

I know I've sometimes said things that I didn't mean to, sometimes words just make it out before making it through the filter.  In the op's situation I would have assumed that's what happened with the waitress and moved on with ordering.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #67 on: December 10, 2012, 09:43:43 PM »
Interesting answers.
 
I would not have taken any offense, either letting the comment roll right off my back or shrugging politely, and assumed that she probably had one of those foot-in-mouth moments. (I've had at least my share so I tend to let others have theirs.) You explained before her comment why you feel the way you do and I think that was fine.

This. 

This squared.

We all have a "foot in mouth" moment occasionally. Unfortunate that hers happened as a server. But it's not like a huge crime. To leave the restaurant because of it (assuming that I liked the food and wanted to eat there) and some of the other responses here seem excessive given the fact that she had a human moment that's happened to all of us at one time or another. I bet she was mentally kicking herself afterwards.

Agree with all of the above. 

I know I've sometimes said things that I didn't mean to, sometimes words just make it out before making it through the filter.  In the op's situation I would have assumed that's what happened with the waitress and moved on with ordering.

I just don't see this as foot in mouth. Instead of answering the question about the dish she asks a question about why the customer wants to know.  Then she makes a really off putting remark in a cheary attitude that would seem to me to imply that she thought her remark funny.  I wouldn't have walked out or created drama but I would make sure the server knew I was not pleased with their remark with either a pointed look or an "Excuse me?"


Drawberry

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #68 on: December 10, 2012, 11:11:45 PM »
I'd say yes, that's pretty gosh darn rude and would be met with a disbelieving stare by myself.

Boyfriend HATES onions. He can take a few little pieces in salsas and in pasta sauce but he will not eat a raw onion in sandwiches or if there is large slices in something. He once took a bite of my sandwich and when he went to chew and tasted the raw onion he had to spit out immediately because he felt like he was going to vomit. That's 'not like a child' in any way.

I too agree that even the presumption that a child is 'too young' to know what they do and don't like is absolute bull. A child knows what makes them feel sick, what they don't like the taste of, or what they just don't want. A child isn't 'too stupid' of a creature to not understand what they say when they don't like mushrooms! A child is a PERSON, and like any other PERSON they have likes and dislikes.

Gosh this whole scenario is so patronizing.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #69 on: December 10, 2012, 11:48:02 PM »
DH feels the same way about tomatoes as most of you who don't like them do.  But like some of you, he will eat pizza sauce, makes his own spaghetti sauce, and assists willingly in our annual salsa making project, gobbling up the results by the chipbagful.   

Tomatoes are in a LOT of American and European recipes.  His position as an anti-tomatist has removed 3/4 of the recipes that I know from our menu.  So I don't cook much.

KrisB

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #70 on: December 11, 2012, 07:45:42 AM »
They do say that if you really can't stand a type of food you are probably mildly allergic to it.

Yvaine

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #71 on: December 11, 2012, 08:46:35 AM »
They do say that if you really can't stand a type of food you are probably mildly allergic to it.

It's sometimes that (hence why I've never liked milk--I was subconsciously picking up on feeling itchy afterward, I think) and it's sometimes a bad memory association, like being made to eat it when you didn't want to or were already feeling ill.

HonorH

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #72 on: December 11, 2012, 12:36:20 PM »
What a weird thing to say. So in her world, only kids refuse to eat certain foods they dislike, and adults eat whatever? How utterly strange.

In fairness, *all* the picky eaters I know are kids. And every one of them makes a big production out of being picky. So I can see where the waitress is coming from. I don't agree with her saying it out loud, but she certainly has a right to think it.

I don't quite understand. Are you saying that you genuinely don't know a single adult with a food that they dislike and won't eat? You've never ever been to a restaurant with someone who asked for something 'on the side' or made an enquiry about the ingredients of a dish? That's all I did. There was no production, and I asked about one ingredient. Frankly I don't think it's reasonable to compare that to childish behaviour. Honestly, I don't even remotely class myself as a picky eater. I don't eat chunks of tomato, end of story. I will eat, or at least try, just about anything else.

Asking what's in a dish is not being picky. Asking for dressing on the side is not being picky.

Asking for half the ingredients to be substituted, that's being 1picky. When told there's tomato in a dish, saying, "Eeeew yuck, I hate tomato," that's being picky and immature.

And yes, it's correct that I equate over-the-top displays of pickiness with immaturity. By definition, if I don't notice you being picky, you're doing it right.

But that's not remotely what happened in this case, so I don't understand why you're bringing it up. She asked about the ingredients of a dish, and, when pressed, stated simply that she didn't like tomatoes. That wasn't an "over-the-top" display of pickiness. By your own definition, it wouldn't be immature or kid-like, so the waitress's reaction was not justified. I regularly say "Hold the ____" at restaurants, as do most people I know. The waitress should be thoroughly used to it by now. If she regards all of them as "Like a kid," maybe she should go work at Chuck E. Cheese's.
William wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offense meant." Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offense meant" than actually to refrain from giving offense.

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Drawberry

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #73 on: December 11, 2012, 12:41:20 PM »
What a weird thing to say. So in her world, only kids refuse to eat certain foods they dislike, and adults eat whatever? How utterly strange.

In fairness, *all* the picky eaters I know are kids. And every one of them makes a big production out of being picky. So I can see where the waitress is coming from. I don't agree with her saying it out loud, but she certainly has a right to think it.

I don't quite understand. Are you saying that you genuinely don't know a single adult with a food that they dislike and won't eat? You've never ever been to a restaurant with someone who asked for something 'on the side' or made an enquiry about the ingredients of a dish? That's all I did. There was no production, and I asked about one ingredient. Frankly I don't think it's reasonable to compare that to childish behaviour. Honestly, I don't even remotely class myself as a picky eater. I don't eat chunks of tomato, end of story. I will eat, or at least try, just about anything else.

Asking what's in a dish is not being picky. Asking for dressing on the side is not being picky.

Asking for half the ingredients to be substituted, that's being 1picky. When told there's tomato in a dish, saying, "Eeeew yuck, I hate tomato," that's being picky and immature.

And yes, it's correct that I equate over-the-top displays of pickiness with immaturity. By definition, if I don't notice you being picky, you're doing it right.

But that's not remotely what happened in this case, so I don't understand why you're bringing it up. She asked about the ingredients of a dish, and, when pressed, stated simply that she didn't like tomatoes. That wasn't an "over-the-top" display of pickiness. By your own definition, it wouldn't be immature or kid-like, so the waitress's reaction was not justified. I regularly say "Hold the ____" at restaurants, as do most people I know. The waitress should be thoroughly used to it by now. If she regards all of them as "Like a kid," maybe she should go work at Chuck E. Cheese's.

^Agreed.

An over the top display of pickiness would have been:

"I don't like tomatoes. They murdered my family and stole my fortune! It is my lifelong duty to hunt and find the tomatoes that killed my family.So no tomatoes please."

Not:
"I don't care for tomatoes."

I really dislike when we call other people, especially children, 'picky' because of a food preference. It implies that if someone doesn't enjoy everything you like and how you like it they're just WEIRD. People cook things different, people like different things, that isn't picky that's TASTE.

Grammy

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Re: Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?
« Reply #74 on: December 11, 2012, 12:48:52 PM »
I'd have laughed and said, "Yeah, like a kid." As long as I get my point across - no tomatoes please - it wouldn't bother me in the least.