Those wretched tomatoes! Would this bother you?

[SamiHami]

That's why I gave an allowance for the "deer-in-the-headlights" look.

That's assuming she wasn't in the moment to the point that it didn't register how stupid it was until a few moments later - even away from the table.

I see what you're saying. It's just that this is a case where someone had a human moment and doesn't have to be villianized.  What she said was wrong. But there is a certain amount of grace that I think we can all allow each other for our stupid moments in life. If not, none of us is safe.

The comment was dumb, but it didn't, ultimately, do lasting damage. It was one if those things that maybe warrants a "that was a weird comment for her to make" and then go on.

My thoughts anyway.

Agree. We all have less than stellar moments, but that doesn't make us awful people. I would let it pass. If she continued or made another comment, I might then say, "I don't think you realize it, but you are being rather insulting. Please don't comment on my food preferences again."

[Iris]

[snip]

An over the top display of pickiness would have been:

"I don't like tomatoes. They murdered my family and stole my fortune! It is my lifelong duty to hunt and find the tomatoes that killed my family.So no tomatoes please."

This made me smile. Next time I'm with a group of close friends (who appreciate my humour) I'm going to say this.

[DottyG]

"My name is Inigo Montoya. Tomatoes killed my father. Prepare to die."

[Erich L-ster]

You could say that tomatoes give you "indigestion". That way you're not putting it at the level of allergy and it will make people understand better why you don't want them.

[DottyG]

I can't eat lettuce (out at a restaurant - I'll chance it at home) because it has the possibility of doing mean things to my stomach.

I don't go into details (they wouldn't be pretty anyway), so I just say, "Could you make sure there isn't any lettuce on the plate - even as a garnish?  I can't eat lettuce.  Thanks!"  I've never had anyone question it or act like it was odd.

So, that's the advice I'd give as to what to say.  I've found that it's quick and simple.  And it gets me what I need.

[mandycorn]

Actually I have a further question about the restaurant in general, it was odd a couple of times;

When we were booking, DH tried to book for 7 and was told that was not possible, to come at 7:15. Yet when we arrived the place was empty except for one table. Also, on their menu they had printed some 'rules' like that there was a 2 hour limit on table usage and to order quickly (I can't remember the other one). Yet, again, the place was never more than half full at any time. The people we were with made some remarks about delusions of grandeur, but we were just amused rather than offended.

I notice on their website that the people running it have recently moved from Mexico so I wondered would this be usual for a restaurant in Mexico or is it just weird?

I've never heard of a restaurant putting a time limit on table usage; that's seems incredibly short-sighted on their part to force their patrons to hurry through a meal, instead of allowing them to linger for coffee and dessert or more drinks (and eventually more apps to soak up the drinks).

I'd imagine their strange table booking schedule and time limit are probably why it wasn't crowded at all.

[MrsJWine]

Actually I have a further question about the restaurant in general, it was odd a couple of times;

When we were booking, DH tried to book for 7 and was told that was not possible, to come at 7:15. Yet when we arrived the place was empty except for one table. Also, on their menu they had printed some 'rules' like that there was a 2 hour limit on table usage and to order quickly (I can't remember the other one). Yet, again, the place was never more than half full at any time. The people we were with made some remarks about delusions of grandeur, but we were just amused rather than offended.

I notice on their website that the people running it have recently moved from Mexico so I wondered would this be usual for a restaurant in Mexico or is it just weird?

I've never heard of a restaurant putting a time limit on table usage; that's seems incredibly short-sighted on their part to force their patrons to hurry through a meal, instead of allowing them to linger for coffee and dessert or more drinks (and eventually more apps to soak up the drinks).

I'd imagine their strange table booking schedule and time limit are probably why it wasn't crowded at all.

Where I've worked, they encouraged two-hour time slots because then other parties with reservations wouldn't have to sit around waiting. But that was specifically for the banquet room, so I don't know.

[Iris]

Short quick update: I have eaten out several times since this thread, and I started using poster's suggestions that I use intolerance or inability to digest and it's worked a treat! I am always *very* careful to say that I am not allergic - a typical comment would be "I just have a question about the sauce on xyz. Is it very tomato-y? I'm not allergic but too much tomato disagrees with me." Or a variation on that theme.

So thanks Ehellions, once again I can dine out without too many hassles 

[Redsoil]

Good outcome!