I hope you've all been leading dilemma-free lives in these past few months of my eHell hiatus. I have a question for you. I don't think this goes on the wedding board because it isn't a question about wedding etiquette, but a wedding does figure in the story.
I'm getting married fairly soon. (yay) My fiancÚ (Lukas) and I spoke with his parents in late September about our plans for the wedding and to review the guest list and make sure we hadn't forgotten anyone important. At that meeting, they told us that they would plan and pay for a rehearsal dinner and that they would get back to us soon with the details.
Our wedding is now in about 5 weeks and they have not made any plans for the dinner, despite being asked by me and Lukas about 8 times if they had made the arrangements, whether the invitations were ready, etc. because we wanted to make sure out-of-town guests were invited. When I spoke to Lukas' mother yesterday, she said they have still "not made any firm plans".
At this point, I have decided that they are probably not going to do anything and that with the date so close we need to have something in place, especially because of the Christmas holidays creating havoc in people's schedules. I want to simply tell them (Marta and Franz) that we appreciate their offer, but it is clearly too big a job for them to get organized, and we will do it ourselves.
I do not want to estrange them or hurt their feelings, but I think that my feelings are hurt enough. Especially when I found out that Marta has invited all four of Lukas' grandparents, but has not seen fit to include my one living grandparent. Can eHell help me draft a response that conveys: they dropped the ball and were rude to promise to do something and not follow through, we no longer want their help and will be doing it ourselves, and it has hurt our feelings to be disrespected in this way. It would be great if this response also had a gentle coating to take the sting from it.