My 2 cents
.... in 5 steps or less:
1. Get a plan with your DF. What would the 2 of you like? Guest list. Time. Date. Location.
2. Come up with a plan that you can live with - and PAY for.
3. If anyone has "mentioned" that they would like to "help" - you can quietly mention that this is "the plan", and if they would like to contribute, you would be most appreciative.
4. You take care of your side, he takes care of his.
Ultimately, you and DF are "in charge" of this event. Many people have kind intentions...but dont have the finances/know-how/etc.
This can be a win-win for everyone.
You "control" how your rehearsal goes.
People who want/able to contribute...do
It is not the responsibilty of anyone else to make your vision come true.
Take control. Be gracious. Do it with a smile.
And they will love you for it!