Author Topic: When people can't take No for an answer  (Read 4448 times)

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O'Dell

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #15 on: December 11, 2012, 12:02:33 PM »
If possible, I would have paused the movie and asked her to let me know when she was done going on about it so I could watch the rest of the movie in peace. If needed I'd point out that the sooner she stopped, the sooner I'd be done with the TV and her daughter would have it.
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SamiHami

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2012, 12:03:26 PM »
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

  I am embarrassed to say I did not finish watching the movie. She and her daughter sat down to eat at the dinner table and she wouldn't shut up about it. I got so angry I went for a walk instead. I wish I had shown more backbone.

Should this scenario come up again, I would suggest pausing the movie each time the roommate makes a comment and asking her politely, "Roommate, would you please stop making those comments? I can't hear my move, so I have to back it up to catch the parts you have talked over. At this rate it will take quite a long time for me to finish it, instead of the 30 or so minutes I have left if uninterrupted."

If that doesn't work I would turn up the volume so I could hear it over her complaining.

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JenJay

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #17 on: December 11, 2012, 12:12:22 PM »
It's not too late to address this. Say to her "I needed some time to calm down and compose my thoughts and now that I have done so, we need to talk. It is not okay for you to come in and inform me I need to change the tv from something I am watching to something your DD wants to watch. It is also not okay, when I decline, to sit at the table and loudly tell her how selfish I am. It is not selfish of me to want to use my tv to catch the last 30 minutes of a movie, especially when you have an extra tv in your room. I don't want that to happen again."

I get upset handling things like this in person so I'd probably have to write a note and end it with "I'd like to move on from here and don't intend to stay upset. I hope you won't, either. If you'd like to talk more I'm available."

SamiHami

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #18 on: December 11, 2012, 12:16:13 PM »
It's not too late to address this. Say to her "I needed some time to calm down and compose my thoughts and now that I have done so, we need to talk. It is not okay for you to come in and inform me I need to change the tv from something I am watching to something your DD wants to watch. It is also not okay, when I decline, to sit at the table and loudly tell her how selfish I am. It is not selfish of me to want to use my tv to catch the last 30 minutes of a movie, especially when you have an extra tv in your room. I don't want that to happen again."

I get upset handling things like this in person so I'd probably have to write a note and end it with "I'd like to move on from here and don't intend to stay upset. I hope you won't, either. If you'd like to talk more I'm available."

Maybe they need a roommate agreement...(yeah, I know. I watch too much Big Bang Theory!)  :)

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bopper

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #19 on: December 11, 2012, 05:00:51 PM »
Actually some sort of agreement is a good idea...they do it for College dorms all the time.
I know my girls don't fight over something if there is some sort of "rule".

AmethystAnne

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2012, 11:02:29 PM »
If the OP is the owner of the TV in the living room, if it's possible, why not move the TV into her own bedroom?

doodlemor

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2012, 12:42:13 AM »
Time to find a new room mate.

This.  Absolutely.

This woman bullied you into giving up the TV.  I suspect that she wanted her daughter busy watching a program in the living room so that she could watch her own TV in her bedroom.

If you bought the TV, then put it into your bedroom as AmethystAnne  has said.  If room mate bought the thing maybe you should purchase one for your room, and keep it private for your use.  If the TV is owned by both of you, or came with the residence, then some rules need to be set and followed.

It is difficult to assert your rights when faced with a master manipulator.  Next time something like this happens, don't let her know that you are ruffled.  Tell her that you are afraid that this will not be possible, and ignore her PA comments to the child.  You deserve better treatment.

LadyJ3000

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2012, 01:41:37 AM »
  Well the living room television is mine as well as the DVD player. In fact the television is her room was left over from another roommate and therefore not hers. I unfortunately didn't get a chance to confront her as she blew up on me for another petty reason last night.

  I had received some avocados from a friend and had offered her one, which she never took me up on. Last night she noticed they were gone and had a meltdown screaming at me for using them all. Things progressed to a shouting match in which some non-Ehell approved things were said.

  She is staying at a hotel tonight and is hopefully looking for other accommodations. Thanks for the good advice even though I never got to use it.
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cicero

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2012, 02:25:15 AM »
 

  She is staying at a hotel tonight and is hopefully looking for other accommodations. Thanks for the good advice even though I never got to use it.
sounds like a good idea.

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Nora

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2012, 02:27:31 AM »
I love me some avocados, but it sounds like your STBX roommate might have some issues... Glad she's leaving!
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The Wild One, Forever

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2012, 06:33:42 AM »
I love me some avocados, but it sounds like your STBX roommate might have some issues... Glad she's leaving!

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Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2012, 10:27:41 AM »
Poor kid :(
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