Author Topic: Giving back stuff and moving on  (Read 4399 times)

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Danika

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Re: Giving back stuff and moving on
« Reply #30 on: December 12, 2012, 02:20:07 PM »
So if you want to keep something but don't like the association with it - my vote is for burying it or "losing" it for a while. Physical distance = emotional distance.

Good! Some of the items were summer clothes! It's wintertime here now. I will hide them at the back of my closet and think of you, Softly Spoken, next spring when I get them out. I will try to think of my helpful forum friend on EHell instead.

I also took a feather and physically 'swept' away the emotional/metaphorical "cobwebs" or "strings" attached to the picture mentioned above.

I'm going to try that as well. At least the levity of the idea will make me smile.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Giving back stuff and moving on
« Reply #31 on: December 12, 2012, 02:49:05 PM »
I saw an interview with Jane Fonda where she said "Never make a decision just after a break up".  I think the best thing to do is to take a few days (weeks) to let the emotional part calm.  Then return items that are heirlooms or loaned.  After that, any gifts that were given can be either stored, sold, thrown out or donated.

I find rituals such as burning letters overly dramatic, but that's just me.

heathert

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Re: Giving back stuff and moving on
« Reply #32 on: December 12, 2012, 06:05:26 PM »
I think it's weird to give gifts back in either instance unless they are exceptional in some way, something like the ring Outdoor Girl mentions. But I do understand getting rid of anything that brings up negative feelings. Why keep that sort of stuff around?

Yes, it is weird. I had an ex give me back all this stuff and I was like  ??? Why would you think "I" want it?   It included all the photos and stuff and seemed like a pretty narcissistic thing to do, really.