Author Topic: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15  (Read 4771 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

violinp

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3630
  • cabbagegirl28's my sister :)
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay?
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2012, 12:34:03 PM »
I like bopper's response.  Along the same lines "Of course I remeber you - it has been a while, what are you up to?"

I don't think she wanted to engage with him. A question would engage.

That's what I was thinking. He later said, "You have a sister, right?" I wasn't going to lie about that, so I just said "Yes," and he said, "Then I did sub for you at some point!" I just said nothing (we weren't facing each other because we were in line, so it was easier to do), and someone from my church who was friends with him (how such a nice guy is friends with such a bacon - fed knave, I don't know) offered to let me move up in line so they could catch up on each others' lives, so I got food faster, and didn't have to talk to a jerk.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9022
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay?
« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2012, 12:50:42 PM »
I like bopper's response.  Along the same lines "Of course I remeber you - it has been a while, what are you up to?"

I don't think she wanted to engage with him. A question would engage.

That's what I was thinking. He later said, "You have a sister, right?" I wasn't going to lie about that, so I just said "Yes," and he said, "Then I did sub for you at some point!" I just said nothing (we weren't facing each other because we were in line, so it was easier to do), and someone from my church who was friends with him (how such a nice guy is friends with such a bacon - fed knave, I don't know) offered to let me move up in line so they could catch up on each others' lives, so I got food faster, and didn't have to talk to a jerk.

Sounds like someone (i.e. him) couldn't take the hint that is implied in short, clipped responses. He sounds like quite the gem all around.  ::)

Auntie Mame

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1501
  • Live! Live! LIVE!
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2012, 06:49:42 PM »
I think your little white lie was gracefully handled.  It saved you and everyone around you from an awkward conversation.  I applaud your quick thinking.
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8265
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2012, 08:49:37 PM »
^^^  I also applaud the guy who 'saved' her.  Even if he didn't realize ...   ;)

Mikayla

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4070
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay?
« Reply #19 on: December 11, 2012, 02:30:50 PM »
I always think of the perfect response to something awkward, rude, insulting or dismissive said to me--but not until I'm on the staircase going down away from the situation.  It drives me up the spout!)

Me too!

I think the OP is to be congratulated on thinking on their feet so quickly. I wouldn't be able to. A problem might arise though if the person pushed the point, insisting "But surely you must remember me?"

I was thinking this exact same thing, even using the same wording.

When I know I'm heading into a potential minefield, I'm good at thinking of polite responses I might need to use.  When the situation gets tossed in my face with no warning, let's just say I'm much less reliable.

Softly Spoken

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 638
  • "I am a hawk on a cliff..."
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #20 on: December 11, 2012, 07:48:44 PM »
This kind of situation is what bean dipping and all the "special phrases" discussed on this board are made for.

When trying to remain diplomatic and polite, less is more and vague is better.

If you do not want to lie, then stick to bare facts and keep all those messy opinions and non-ehell approved responses in your head.

Bad Sub: "Didn't I sub for your class?"
You think:Yes, and you were horrible. You say: "It's possible**. [insert bean dip about performance or buffet etc. here]"
** = because technically anything is possible.  ;)

Another possible (technical/diplomatic) 'truth':
*Lightly*"Oh, I don't remember every teacher that subs for me. [Insert bean dip or if you're feeling generous a polite inquiry about what he is doing now, to avoid the horrible things you know he's done in the past]" - yes you remember him but it is a bad memory so it does not count for the sake of polite conversation  :P

I don't think you have to lie to avoid an uncomfortable conversation or confrontation, but IMHO the "lie" you told about your sudden "amnesia" regarding this loser is acceptable in polite circles when the truth simply cannot be discussed politely. If someone is trying to bring up an uncomfortable topic, it is perfectly acceptable to smile and say "I don't recall."


Being civil and polite can sometimes mean smiling when you want to scream, saying 'hello' when you'd rather say 'goodbye', and making neutral small talk with a jerk in the buffet line when you'd rather stab him in the eye with your fork. >:D

You did wonderfully under pressure (spur of the moment no less!) and didn't go for the fork option, so I applaud you. ;D
"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."  ~Frank A. Clark

Bees

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 159
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #21 on: December 11, 2012, 08:07:26 PM »
Just to clarify for me; were you a student or a teacher?

I read it as your being a student so his being able to recognize you years later makes me think he spent more of his time checking out the females then on the curriculum. The glare of death should have accompanied your response.

If you were a teacher, I would have said that you remember he left the school system shortly after that, then turn away.

cabbagegirl28

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1198
  • violinp's my sister :)
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #22 on: December 11, 2012, 08:38:31 PM »
Just to clarify for me; were you a student or a teacher?

I read it as your being a student so his being able to recognize you years later makes me think he spent more of his time checking out the females then on the curriculum. The glare of death should have accompanied your response.

If you were a teacher, I would have said that you remember he left the school system shortly after that, then turn away.

Violinp and I were in elementary school when we first encountered him, and he finally was forced to leave when we were in high school. He had a lot of bad qualities, but checking out younger girls was not one of them. He was very happily married, as far as I know. He was just a rude oaf of the highest order.


Vita brevis, ars longa

violinp

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3630
  • cabbagegirl28's my sister :)
Re: Is This Kind of Lie Okay? Update - ish #15
« Reply #23 on: December 11, 2012, 08:40:31 PM »
Just to clarify for me; were you a student or a teacher?

I read it as your being a student so his being able to recognize you years later makes me think he spent more of his time checking out the females then on the curriculum. The glare of death should have accompanied your response.

If you were a teacher, I would have said that you remember he left the school system shortly after that, then turn away.

Violinp and I were in elementary school when we first encountered him, and he finally was forced to leave when we were in high school. He had a lot of bad qualities, but checking out younger girls was not one of them. He was very happily married, as far as I know. He was just a rude oaf of the highest order.

My sister has it right. My face hasn't changed enough in 3 years to make me unrecognizable...I hope.  :P
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter