addressing mail to a same sex couple

[happygrrl]

Hi!

What is the correct way to do this? I don't know the partner's last name, so Ms. Doe and Ms. Smith isn't an option. I've read that Mrs. Jane & Mrs. Mary Smith can be used, but I don't know if the partner changed her last name or not. Can i use Ms. Jane Smith & Mary?

Thanks!

[MrTango]

Could you give "Jane" a call and ask her how "Mary" prefers to be addressed on envelopes?

[nyarlathotep]

Seconding Mr Tango. Unless you can get away with just "Jane and Mary", give 'em a call.

[Outdoor Girl]

If it was a Christmas card, I'd probably just address it 'Jane and Mary (Smith), 123 any street, any town, any state, zip code.'  But if something more formal was needed, like for a wedding invitation, I'd call Jane and/or Mary and ask how they would like the card to be addressed.

[happygrrl]

Thanks all!

[RebeccainGA]

I know we often get things addressed to "Rev. DP lastname and Rebecca"

Doesn't bother me in the least, since they don't know me at all, but DP is their former pastor.

[Bethalize]

Can i use Ms. Jane Smith & Mary?

When we received an invitation addressed this way, to Mr DH Surname & Bethalize, I would say to anyone who asked that we were going to be seated with Mr John Noakes and Shep  ::)http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/years/1977/gallery/johnnoakes.shtml

If you don't know and aren't going to trouble yourself to find out address the envelope to one person and the invitation to both forenames. Finding out would be my preference though.

[Slartibartfast]

If you can't find out ahead of time and you're close enough to one half of the couple, you can address it to "PartnerName and PersonYouKnow Lastname" and put a note on the inside saying "Sorry, I didn't know whether PartnerName shared your last name or not!"  That way it at least acknowledges that you know you might be wrong.