Author Topic: "Used" Gifts  (Read 4925 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15858
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
"Used" Gifts
« on: December 10, 2012, 08:49:16 PM »
This is not really about regifting -- for which there are established rules -- but is it acceptable to give something that's been used?  By this I mean:

  • A book you have read but don't wish to keep
  • A DVD you've screened only once, but is clearly no longer in the cellophane

Of course, the above two items would be of the same taste as the intended recipient.

Do any of you do this?  I have never had an issue with giving a book provided it's in new condition, but what about the movie?

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11664
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2012, 08:53:58 PM »
I do and have given things like this - but only as a "just because" gift, not for a Christmas/Hanukkah/birthday/shower/etc.  I think in occasions where you'd be normally expected to give a gift, you're obligated to follow normal gifting etiquette.  There's nothing wrong with passing on used stuff, re-gifts, etc. at other times, though!

MrsCrazyPete

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 578
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2012, 09:07:14 PM »
My siblings and I exchange used gifts. If its something we won't use again but we know that one of us will, we'll give it as part of a birthday or Christmas gift.

Our thinking is that then we can give more per budget if we're able to give something that isn't costing us anything.
Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.

Hmmmmm

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6363
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2012, 09:22:38 PM »
I don't view passing on a book or video I enjoyed to a friend or relative a gift.  I especially wouldn't give it as a Christmas, birthday, or wedding gift.  However if I found a copy of a book in a used book store I thought they would appreciate, I would give it.

magician5

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3460
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2012, 10:20:33 PM »
I can not predict what any given recipient will think. No doubt there would be both positive and negative reactions.

But if I recall my Tolkien aright, Hobbits placed more value on presents that had been through one or more hands, calling them "mathoms".
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Shopaholic

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1699
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2012, 08:16:32 AM »
Like others, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving a "used" gift as a holiday/birthday present - more like a "just because" one.
Maybe in addition to a new gift.

Although I usually insist that the price of the gift shouldn't affect its value as a gift - I do feel that price plays a part here.
I received a used iPad recently - it was about a month old, and the owner thought I would use it and enjoy it more than them. I would have gotten it regardless, but I refused a birthday gift that year all the same.

Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8795
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2012, 08:29:16 AM »
I'm weird. I probably wouldn't give someone a gift previously used by me for a special occasion. I'd be more likely just to hand it to them "just because" and say I liked this and I think they would too. I only gave a used-by-me gift once that I remember. I gave one of my CDs to my dad as a Christmas present--I was a broke college student and we both liked the band. He was kind of snarky about it and maybe that's why I don't do it anymore!

But I have given gifts previously used by random other people. If I'm set on getting someone a specific book and it's out of print, darn skippy I'll buy a used copy in good condition. Or if they want an item of vintage housewares or something. There are things you just can't get new because nobody makes/prints them now. And if I don't use it myself, I feel less like I'm giving my castoffs and more like I've bought it at the store like a "regular" gift.

RebeccainGA

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1207
  • formerly RebeccainAR
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2012, 08:38:46 AM »
I'm on the fence with this one - it really depends on what it is. Things that are designed as 'heirloom' quality, or for multiple owners (such as nice furniture, furs, jewelry, china, clocks, family bibles, that sort of thing) or very high priced items (such as the Mont Blanc fountain pen my grandfather gave me after he'd used it for two weeks because it was 'not worth the trouble') I'd say were good for any gifting occasion.

A DVD or a book? Maybe as an addition to something (like, giving a new DVD player, here's a few DVDs we've enjoyed that I think you would like too) or as part of a theme (used cookbook as part of a basket of cooking gear) I would do as part of a big gifting occasion (birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.). Otherwise, it'd be a 'hey, I got this and it's not to my taste, but I think you'd really enjoy it' gift.

AliciaLynette

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 57
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2012, 09:06:03 AM »
My siblings and I exchange used gifts. If its something we won't use again but we know that one of us will, we'll give it as part of a birthday or Christmas gift.

Our thinking is that then we can give more per budget if we're able to give something that isn't costing us anything.

We do this sort of thing in my family - along the lines of 'This item is great but I don't use/won't need it so why not you have it.'  But it would be in conjunction with other items.
However, my family didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up so re-gifting/charity shop purchases are logical to us, as long as the giftee will get use/enjoyment out of the item.
Children are natural mimics; they act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners.
Author Unknown

BarensMom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2619
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2012, 09:54:09 AM »
The only time I would give a used gift is if it was a "first edition" of a classic book or an antique that I know the person is collecting (for example, depression glass). 

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13665
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2012, 10:06:21 AM »
I have some friends that I met when we were all students.  It was very common for us to exchange 'used' gifts because we didn't have a lot of money to spend.  But I wouldn't do that with other people.

I have thrown books I've read into my SIL stocking because I knew she'd like to read them, too.  I think as an add-on, a used book or DVD is fine but not as the whole gift.

I agree with BarensMom if the whole gift were to be used.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

EMuir

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1373
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2012, 10:39:14 AM »
My college roommate used to buy expensive hardcovers for others for Christmas and then read them first.  I argued that they were then "used" and it was rude.  She argued that they'd never be able to tell. 

jmarvellous

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3428
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2012, 10:44:27 AM »
We have large libraries of odd or interesting books, and we often give an interesting one to people in lieu of cards for casual birthday parties where most people bring either nothing, a beverage to share, or a card.

onyonryngs

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 362
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2012, 10:45:03 AM »
I'd pass them on to a new home, but not as a gift. 

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11664
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: "Used" Gifts
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2012, 10:56:52 AM »
My college roommate used to buy expensive hardcovers for others for Christmas and then read them first.  I argued that they were then "used" and it was rude.  She argued that they'd never be able to tell.

My mother's side of the family does this.  Some of them write little notes in the margins about the parts they specifically liked  :o