When people can't take No for an answer

[LadyJ3000]

  I am fuming right now. I was watching a movie when my roommate returned home with her daughter. Her daughter wanted to watch a cartoon but I explained to the roommate that I only had a half hour of the movie left. At the time I was on my laptop, writing a quick email to a friend.

  She then tells me that if I am on a computer then I am obviously not watching the movie. She then proceeds to tell her daughter that she can't watch her cartoon because I am being selfish. I don't have a television in my room so there was no other place for me to watch it. She on the other hand has her own television but insisted on guilt tripping me anyway.

 Any tips on how to deal with her if this situation comes up again? Anything I should say to her regarding the issue? Advice would be appreciated.

[LeveeWoman]

I'd suggest telling her to get a grip.

[PastryGoddess]

I'd suggest telling her to get a grip.

Preferably with a clue by four in your hand  

Next time, just agree with her and say Yup! and go back to what you were doing.  You were being selfish   and that's ok.  You were there first AND they have another TV to watch what they want, when they want.  She's using her daughter to get what she wants...and that's sad.

Don't let her have any space in your head...she isn't worth it

[Venus193]

She is teaching her daughter to run roughshod over other people.  Don't let her use you as a lab animal in this experiment.

Stand your ground.  Remind her that she has her own TV.

[Deetee]

But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

[LadyJ3000]

 

But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

  I am embarrassed to say I did not finish watching the movie. She and her daughter sat down to eat at the dinner table and she wouldn't shut up about it. I got so angry I went for a walk instead. I wish I had shown more backbone.

[Deetee]

But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

  I am embarrassed to say I did not finish watching the movie. She and her daughter sat down to eat at the dinner table and she wouldn't shut up about it. I got so angry I went for a walk instead. I wish I had shown more backbone.

Sorry, but next time! Next time you will have the ehell voices in your head chanting "shiny spine! shiny spine!"

[TomatoBunny]

If this cartoon was on 'live' (as opposed to Netflix/a DVD) it seems like roommate should have just plopped her daughter in her room with the second TV if she wanted her daughter to see it. Instead it sounds like they sat down to eat at the table instead? Were they planning to eat in front of the TV? Sounds like roommate was complaining to be complaining at you for watching TV and using your computer.

[Kaypeep]

You weren't selfish, you were multi-tasking!

Might I suggest in a pair of headphones so that you can watch your tv shows or movies without having to listen to your roommate without disturbing others. 

[Auntie Mame]

Time to find a new room mate.

[Piratelvr1121]

But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

I don't consider it to be taking "No" for an answer if someone keeps going on and on about it and making passive aggressive snipes.

[cicero]

so basically - her PAness taught her that being PA pays off.

I think (if you can't change your living situation) that you need to sit down with her at a time that you are both calm and talk about it. set up "house rules" that will work for everyone. e.g., if someone is already watching tv, then that show takes precedence over someone wanting a new show. or her daughter gets to watch cartoons every day at 5. or whatever works for you guys.

when you get angry and leave, you diffuse the situation but you don't really get what you want. when she gets agressive /PA, she gets what she wants.
there is a middle ground.

[CaptainObvious]

But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

I don't consider it to be taking "No" for an answer if someone keeps going on and on about it and making passive aggressive snipes.

No, and I don't think someone making P/A comments  is irrelevent either.

[BarensMom]

Straight out tell her "I didn't appreciate the P/A comments while I was trying to watch the movie.  Your daughter can go into the other room to watch her cartoons. The television in the main room is mine and I have the right to use it as I see fit.  Any more comments and it will be going into my bedroom."

[bopper]

Who owns the TV?
What rules, if any, were stipulated?

So if you own the TV, then you could say "I am watching my TV.  You have one in your room."
If it is hers, then say "Daughter, as soon as I am done watching this movie, you can watch it. It should only be 30 minutes more."

You could go now to her and say "Roomie, what was up with trying to guilt me off the Tv the other day?  I told you I had 30 min more. Yes I was writing a quick email at the same time. The TV is in the LR and no one person has control over it. First come first serve we agreed. Please don't put your daugther in the middle.  She could have watched cartoons in your room if necessary. If there is some other issue let me know.