Author Topic: When people can't take No for an answer  (Read 4824 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

LadyJ3000

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 221
    • Cinemania
When people can't take No for an answer
« on: December 10, 2012, 10:32:00 PM »
  I am fuming right now. I was watching a movie when my roommate returned home with her daughter. Her daughter wanted to watch a cartoon but I explained to the roommate that I only had a half hour of the movie left. At the time I was on my laptop, writing a quick email to a friend.

  She then tells me that if I am on a computer then I am obviously not watching the movie. She then proceeds to tell her daughter that she can't watch her cartoon because I am being selfish. I don't have a television in my room so there was no other place for me to watch it. She on the other hand has her own television but insisted on guilt tripping me anyway.

 Any tips on how to deal with her if this situation comes up again? Anything I should say to her regarding the issue? Advice would be appreciated.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2012, 10:40:20 PM by LadyJ3000 »
My Media Blog
http://ladyj3000.blogspot.com
Updated Weekly

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4187
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2012, 10:50:41 PM »
I'd suggest telling her to get a grip.

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4836
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2012, 10:56:33 PM »
I'd suggest telling her to get a grip.


Preferably with a clue by four in your hand :) 

Next time, just agree with her and say Yup! and go back to what you were doing.  You were being selfish :)  and that's ok.  You were there first AND they have another TV to watch what they want, when they want.  She's using her daughter to get what she wants...and that's sad.

Don't let her have any space in your head...she isn't worth it

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15934
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2012, 11:02:52 PM »
She is teaching her daughter to run roughshod over other people.  Don't let her use you as a lab animal in this experiment.

Stand your ground.  Remind her that she has her own TV.

Deetee

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5649
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2012, 11:06:11 PM »
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

LadyJ3000

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 221
    • Cinemania
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2012, 11:11:17 PM »
 
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

  I am embarrassed to say I did not finish watching the movie. She and her daughter sat down to eat at the dinner table and she wouldn't shut up about it. I got so angry I went for a walk instead. I wish I had shown more backbone.
My Media Blog
http://ladyj3000.blogspot.com
Updated Weekly

Deetee

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5649
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2012, 11:50:11 PM »
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

  I am embarrassed to say I did not finish watching the movie. She and her daughter sat down to eat at the dinner table and she wouldn't shut up about it. I got so angry I went for a walk instead. I wish I had shown more backbone.
Sorry, but next time! Next time you will have the ehell voices in your head chanting "shiny spine! shiny spine!"

TomatoBunny

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 147
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2012, 02:09:14 AM »
If this cartoon was on 'live' (as opposed to Netflix/a DVD) it seems like roommate should have just plopped her daughter in her room with the second TV if she wanted her daughter to see it. Instead it sounds like they sat down to eat at the table instead? Were they planning to eat in front of the TV? Sounds like roommate was complaining to be complaining at you for watching TV and using your computer.

Kaypeep

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2302
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2012, 02:36:51 AM »
You weren't selfish, you were multi-tasking!

Might I suggest in a pair of headphones so that you can watch your tv shows or movies without having to listen to your roommate without disturbing others.  >:D

Auntie Mame

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1501
  • Live! Live! LIVE!
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2012, 03:07:41 AM »
Time to find a new room mate.
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11110
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2012, 07:12:48 AM »
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

I don't consider it to be taking "No" for an answer if someone keeps going on and on about it and making passive aggressive snipes.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17751
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2012, 07:37:14 AM »
so basically - her PAness taught her that being PA pays off.

I think (if you can't change your living situation) that you need to sit down with her at a time that you are both calm and talk about it. set up "house rules" that will work for everyone. e.g., if someone is already watching tv, then that show takes precedence over someone wanting a new show. or her daughter gets to watch cartoons every day at 5. or whatever works for you guys.

when you get angry and leave, you diffuse the situation but you don't really get what you want. when she gets agressive /PA, she gets what she wants.
there is a middle ground.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

CaptainObvious

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 236
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2012, 07:37:28 AM »
But she did take "no" right? You kept watching your movie.

Whatever she was going on about is irrelevent.

I don't consider it to be taking "No" for an answer if someone keeps going on and on about it and making passive aggressive snipes.

No, and I don't think someone making P/A comments  is irrelevent either.

BarensMom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2645
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2012, 09:59:43 AM »
Straight out tell her "I didn't appreciate the P/A comments while I was trying to watch the movie.  Your daughter can go into the other room to watch her cartoons. The television in the main room is mine and I have the right to use it as I see fit.  Any more comments and it will be going into my bedroom."

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12410
Re: When people can't take No for an answer
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2012, 11:56:28 AM »
Who owns the TV?
What rules, if any, were stipulated?

So if you own the TV, then you could say "I am watching my TV.  You have one in your room."
If it is hers, then say "Daughter, as soon as I am done watching this movie, you can watch it. It should only be 30 minutes more."

You could go now to her and say "Roomie, what was up with trying to guilt me off the Tv the other day?  I told you I had 30 min more. Yes I was writing a quick email at the same time. The TV is in the LR and no one person has control over it. First come first serve we agreed. Please don't put your daugther in the middle.  She could have watched cartoons in your room if necessary. If there is some other issue let me know.