We're a non-Santa household here, too. Have your parents specified their reasons? Because if there's an aspect they find offensive, that might not even be something you're introducing. For example, if they object to the omniscient and conditional being thing, and all you're doing is "nice character who brings presents and spreads love and joy," that might already be a middle ground.
I had this in my original version of what I'd written, but decided not to include it as I did not want the topic sidetracked into an area that might end up getting the thread locked. I do see that it is relevant, though.
I was raised in a very conservative christian home. My mother's feelings (hers moreso than my father's, but I guess his, too) on Santa are extremely strong for religious reasons. She feels that Santa diminishes what she believes is the "true meaning of Christmas". Let's not go there, as I disagree and religion can be very emotionally charged. But understand that is the reason, whether it's right or wrong.
I know you said "short of not spending Christmas with them" but given all the other stories about your mother and complete interference with the raising of your child, maybe you should start to think about what your life would be like with a little less of your mom in it.
(snip)
I'm not there yet. I have my reasons for keeping my family in my life. I am close to certain siblings and do not want to put them in the difficult place of picking sides. Choosing to have a little less mom in my life would result in family drama that I don't want other family members to have to go through.
I know you said "short of not spending Christmas with them" but given all the other stories about your mother and complete interference with the raising of your child, maybe you should start to think about what your life would be like with a little less of your mom in it.
There are plenty of "lies" that parents tell their kids partly because children can only conceive of the world in a limited fashion*. Unless a parent is telling their kid that cars never hurt people and cleaning supplies are a refreshing alternative to milk, I see no reason for anyone else to get involved ever.
*My 4 year old daughter is firmly convinced that no-one she knows will ever die because she will "hug them and then they will be better"
Santa is a red herring. This is about your right to raise your daughter as you see fit.
I don't think its about OP's right to raise her daughter at all. She can still do the Santa thing. She can tell her daughter whatever she wants. She can't expect the rest of the world to play along.
I don't.
I also don't expect someone to actively walk up to a child and tell them "Santa is not real! It's bad to believe in him. He is evil."
It's not about wanting her to play along. She doesn't have to do that. She just doesn't have to ruin it.
Just curious, does she object to the tooth fairy as well? To me, it's the same concept. So on the off chance she's on board with the tooth fairy story maybe you can use that logic to convince her to keep mum about Santa.
There is no tooth fairy, either. No easter bunny (definitely no easter bunny). No magic. She has very strong beliefs. We had quite the disagreement over Halloween, too.
Maybe it should be a hill... but I don't want to lose my siblings in the crossfire.
Has anyone ever dealt with this before, themselves? Is there a polite way of dealing with it, either preventatively or afterwards?
