General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Polite way to say: You need to be responsible for yourself

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pierrotlunaire0:
BG: I manage a staff of 10 clerks.  There is one clerk who has over 24 years working here at the DMV.  I "inherited" her 3 years ago when the office she was assigned to was closed down.  If it had been my choice, I would have preferred not to have her: she is extremely slow, does not keep up well with changes, and is difficult to work with, mostly because she really needs constant supervision and guidance to do anything.  As an example, when she transferred here, I handed her an office key at 10 am, and she told me at 12:30 pm that she had lost it.**  I am constantly arranging to have her passwords reset.  Bottom line: she is a lot of work.  End BG.

Mollie is retiring as of New Years (yeah!), and she is worse than ever - more forgetful, more distracted, slower.  Last night, the floor supervisor (Toni) and I were leaving when Mollie came back in.  Her car wouldn't start, and she needed the address if where we are to call for a tow truck.  We asked if she needed a jump, but she mumbled it was something else and wandered back outside. 

I felt very bad: this is Michigan, and it was cold outside.  OTOH, Mollie has a key and an alarm code to wait inside until the tow truck came.  Except, knowing Mollie, she probably doesn't know where either are.  We asked if she was going to wait inside, but she said no, and went back out.

I am so torn here, because Mollie is not a likeable person.  She also constantly places herself in bad situations (she parks in the one spot in the lot that is not lit even though this means she walks farther than anyone; we also have to hide candy and sweets from her because she is diabetic, and will eat them until she is ill).  I am just so tired of feeling that I should be taking care of her when she won't take care of herself.

What I said last night was, "Well, if that is the decision you have made," and I left.  She also lives less than a mile away.  How do you politely deal with someone you don't like when you see them not taking care of themselves?

**She found the key a week later -- in her shoe, where she had placed it for safekeeping.  She finally remembered it was there when it caused a blister.

CaptainObvious:

--- Quote from: pierrotlunaire0 on December 12, 2012, 02:52:55 PM ---BG: I manage a staff of 10 clerks.  There is one clerk who has over 24 years working here at the DMV.  I "inherited" her 3 years ago when the office she was assigned to was closed down.  If it had been my choice, I would have preferred not to have her: she is extremely slow, does not keep up well with changes, and is difficult to work with, mostly because she really needs constant supervision and guidance to do anything.  As an example, when she transferred here, I handed her an office key at 10 am, and she told me at 12:30 pm that she had lost it.**  I am constantly arranging to have her passwords reset.  Bottom line: she is a lot of work.  End BG.

Mollie is retiring as of New Years (yeah!), and she is worse than ever - more forgetful, more distracted, slower.  Last night, the floor supervisor (Toni) and I were leaving when Mollie came back in.  Her car wouldn't start, and she needed the address if where we are to call for a tow truck.  We asked if she needed a jump, but she mumbled it was something else and wandered back outside. 

I felt very bad: this is Michigan, and it was cold outside.  OTOH, Mollie has a key and an alarm code to wait inside until the tow truck came.  Except, knowing Mollie, she probably doesn't know where either are.  We asked if she was going to wait inside, but she said no, and went back out.

I am so torn here, because Mollie is not a likeable person.  She also constantly places herself in bad situations (she parks in the one spot in the lot that is not lit even though this means she walks farther than anyone; we also have to hide candy and sweets from her because she is diabetic, and will eat them until she is ill).  I am just so tired of feeling that I should be taking care of her when she won't take care of herself.

What I said last night was, "Well, if that is the decision you have made," and I left.  She also lives less than a mile away.  How do you politely deal with someone you don't like when you see them not taking care of themselves?

**She found the key a week later -- in her shoe, where she had placed it for safekeeping.  She finally remembered it was there when it caused a blister.

--- End quote ---

After 3 years, she doesn't know the address of her employer? I'm not sure if I would say anything since she is retiring in 2 1/2 weeks.

bah12:
It doesn't sound like she's asking anyone to help take care of her though. She's careless and forgetful and doesn't seem to have too much common sense and I get that it's frustrating for your to see, but it does sound like she is taking responsibility to take care of herself...however badly that may be.

And it sounds like you don't have to deal with it too much longer.  It's mid December now and she's retiring at the New Year.  So, really your problem is solved.

If you are concerned about her well being, then perhaps you can ask her what her retirement plans are.  Hopefully, she has someone that can help look after her at home and will communicate that to you when she answers that question.  That would at least give you some peace of mind.

Outdoor Girl:
I think I'd be going around muttering, 'Twelve more days, twelve more days...', changing the number in my head each morning.   ;D

You can only do so much for someone.  If they refuse to help themselves, there's nothing you can do unless you are their caretaker.  It was really nice of you all to hid the candy but the fact that you had to?  Mind boggling.

Biker Granny:
I have one that I'm counting down 1 1/2 years.  I envy your two weeks.

I understand being torn between being a compasionate person and being frustrated because she doesn't seem to help herself.

Take a deep breath, pretend you're Dorothy...there's no time like January, there's no time like January.

On the good side you have some Holidays....you won't have to deal with her for an extra day! lol.

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