General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Polite way to say: You need to be responsible for yourself

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cicero:
since she is retiring in two weeks, I would have been a little nicer to her in a semi emergecny type situation. If it wasn't too much of a bother to me, i would have helped her wait inside and made sure she knew the codes etc., only because as you say it is very cold outside and she is obviously in need of some help.

for the other stuff (candy etc) i wouldn't bother any more as she is leaving soon.

MyFamily:
If Molly had wanted help, Molly should have asked for help.  There is a whole thread going on in the Coffee Break folder about giving PA people what they want - she didn't want to wait inside, she didn't ask for any more assistance beyond getting the address; the OP gave her the assistance she requested.  I don't see what they did wrong here.  Would it have been nice to do more? Sure, but my guess is that Molly has set it up where the OP has had to step in and fix her problems so many times, they are burnt out on doing it. 

siamesecat2965:

--- Quote from: MyFamily on December 13, 2012, 03:31:24 PM ---If Molly had wanted help, Molly should have asked for help.  There is a whole thread going on in the Coffee Break folder about giving PA people what they want - she didn't want to wait inside, she didn't ask for any more assistance beyond getting the address; the OP gave her the assistance she requested.  I don't see what they did wrong here.  Would it have been nice to do more? Sure, but my guess is that Molly has set it up where the OP has had to step in and fix her problems so many times, they are burnt out on doing it.

--- End quote ---

This was my take on the situation as well.  I work with someone kind of like this. For a while, she and her husband only had one car, and they live in PA, where we are in NJ.  Neither one of them had cell phones at the time either, which I just thought was kind of unwise, due to the distance she had to travel to work.

He was driving her to work, and picking her up. But while he knew what time the store closed, and how long it took him to get there, many times, we were leaving, and he still wasn't there.

She tried the PA route one night, moaning about how she wasn't sure what time he was going to make it, and so on, and asking out loud, "I wonder what time Starbucks closes?" I think she was trying to get one of us to say "oh don't worry, we'll stay and wait with you" which wasn't ok with any of us. Many of us work 2 jobs, and at the end of the day, we want to go home. Her transportation sitaution is NOT our problem.  In an emergency, absolutely, no problem, but this went on for several months, and it got old fast.

So I said to her, well, call and find out what time they close. Which turned out to be 10, an hour after we do. So most of us leave, and then she and the one other employee (a friend of mine) leave, and he's still not there. She offered to drive her down the strip mall but no, she'd just wait. So she left. While some may say not cool, it was a well lit area, and very safe. And there's also a diner just up the road, which anyone would have been happy to take her too, but as neither one had a phone, no way to let him know.  So she sat outside, and he came about 15 minutes later.

My friend told me later another manager commented to her SHE wouldn't have left her there alone, but hey, our feeling was, your DH knows what time you get out, so it behooves HIM to be there and waiting for you, not the other way around, and it isn't any of our jobs to wait for him with you, OFF the clock.

Moray:

--- Quote from: snugasabug on December 13, 2012, 06:50:47 AM ---I have a different take on the situation as you present it....

You say you have "inherited" her just 3 years ago and she is due to retire shortly? It is possible that she is showing early signs of Alzheimer's / dementia?  Maybe that explains her speed and her forgetful mind.

Her not being a "likeable" person should not have any bearing on your professional rapport with her.  She may be more work, and less "fun" than the others, but she is a part of your team.  I am personally surprised by your reaction to her car issues.  An ounce of humanity, not to mention your role as her manager, might have offered to stay with her until the tow truck came.  Maybe she was frazzled and just in need of someone to show some compassion? 

I'm sure she can sense that she is a nuisance to you and her team.  She doesn't need you to hide the sweets, she needs you to be patient with her and show her some compassion.

--- End quote ---

This is a little harsh, don't you think? Personally, if I told my boss "I got this" and they demanded to stay, I'd be uncomfortable.

The OP didn't leave her in the lurch. She offered help and was turned away *repeatedly*

They only hide the candy because she makes herself sick and *therefore puts more work on them*

She's her manager, not her minder.

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