General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Rude to ignore a direct question in email? (Small update - post #7, #14, #16)

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onyonryngs:

--- Quote from: Biker Granny on December 12, 2012, 04:03:02 PM ---I'd reply....Thank you for the warm wishes....Merry Christmas to you too!.


Nothing more.

--- End quote ---

This.  And if he presses further, tell him you're sorry, but you don't discuss your personal life with patrons.

nuit93:

--- Quote from: Biker Granny on December 12, 2012, 04:03:02 PM ---I'd reply....Thank you for the warm wishes....Merry Christmas to you too!.


Nothing more.

--- End quote ---

I like this.  It's to the point and he probably forgot that he mentioned it.

unnalee:
After posting here, I mentioned it to our director.  He heaved a big sigh, rolled his eyes and said he was surprised it took this long for the guy to ask me my religious ties.  Apparently, it's pretty much his MO anytime a new staff person is hired at the university, and is in no way meant to be rhetorical.  He tries to find a new connection to campus, since he's pretty much alienated everyone who's been around for a while.  He especially targets woman (so I've now been told), and feels that belonging to the same church denomination makes it easier to make and keep a connection with people. 

I didn't mention it before because it didn't seem relevant, but now that I know what this guy's agenda is, in the Azure church, it is expected that younger people (I'm in my 30s, but he's in his 60s) will show respect to church elders and that women will be deferential to male church members at all times, no matter if meeting in church or out in public (did I mention that I've moved away from the church of my youth?  There were abundant reasons...) This guy fancies himself to be quite the ladies' man. 

After finding all of this out from my director, some off-handed comments from my previous email dealings with this guy make more sense.  This guy is slimey.

My director also said it would be best to set boundaries with Mr. Slimey now, before I have to deal with him face-to-face.  What do you all think of my reply? Most of it deals with other things, but the end addressed the inappropriate question.


Dear Mr. Slimey,
Thank you  for sending the list of potential items to be donated to the archive.  I will look them over this week and let you know by Monday which will fit into our collections.  I will also need the name and address of the donor's family for our records.

As to my church affiliation, I prefer not to discuss my personal life with patrons or donors.

Merry Christmas,
Unnalee

onyonryngs:
I think it's a great response!

MrTango:
I suggest a slight change:


--- Quote from: unnalee on December 13, 2012, 09:34:11 AM ---Dear Mr. Slimey,
Thank you  for sending the list of potential items to be donated to the archive.  I will look them over this week and let you know by Monday which will fit into our collections.  I will also need the name and address of the donor's family for our records.

As to my church affiliation, I prefer not to do not discuss my personal life with patrons or donors.

Merry Christmas,
Unnalee

--- End quote ---

Saying that you "prefer not to" leaves the opening of trying to get past your preferences.  The stronger "I do not" is in no way rude.

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