General Etiquette > general

I liked I took it

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Quick question for everybody on whether my lovely mother in law has committed an etiquette violation. Just a bit of background-my husband and I went shopping last weekend to get three picture frames to put in pictures of our 5 month old daughter and we had a specific wall we wanted to put the series of three on. We got the last three frames at the place where we bought them and came home and my husband did the first photo frame up including printing out the photo on photo paper, doing the mount, etc. I really loved this photo.

Anyway, my husband wanted to take the photo to work to show some coworkers what our daughter currently looks like. On the way, he stopped at his mother's to drop off some things. During the course of dropping things off, she saw the photo and, according to my husband, assumed it was for her and took it. A little while later in the day, my mother in law stopped by and mentioned the photo. She said "I saw the photo and liked it, so I took it. After all, you can always do another photo up!"

I was really annoyed by this. If there had been an honest misunderstanding and she thought the photo was for her, that wouldn't be so bad. But she clearly knew the photo was our property and took it. Wouldn't a more appropriate response have been "Hey, I really love that photo. Is it possible for you to do me one up?" instead of taking ours. If she absolutely needed to have that photo, then wouldn't an appropriate response in that case have been "Tasryn....I hope you don't mind but I saw a photo of your daughter that I loved and I asked if I could have it. I hope you aren't offended but I have so few photos of granddaughter and it means a lot to me to have this photo on our mantlepiece." But her whole attitude seemed to be...."Oh, I saw something I loved. I knew it was your property but I took it anyway...after all you can get another one anyway". Is it just me, or is that attitude a bit rude or entitled? I just wanted to know as my mother in law acts this way about a lot of things and it gets under my skin. I really want to know whether I have any reason at all to be annoyed or am I just being oversensitive? I really don't mind that she has a lovely photo of our daughter it was just the way that she did it that annoys me.

Yes, she did commit an etiquette violation - she stole from you.  I am curious, though - why haven't you or your DH said anything?  I'd tell her to give it back.

The attitude is terrible. What else would she steal?

I think she was out of line. None of the mothers or mothers-in-law that I know would do that.

And I'd ask for it back, and tell her it's part of  matching set. It would probably be good for her to not get away with this all the time.

Then I'd ask, "Would you like me to get one printed up for you?" Betcha she doesn't say "Yes, please."

I would print up another copy of the photo and frame it up for her. Then I would tell her I needed the original back and trade her for the different one. She clearly did not understand that you had plans for this photo. Why didn't husband tell her?


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