Author Topic: People who knock on your door...  (Read 7374 times)

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weeblewobble

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2012, 07:11:50 AM »
Definitely not rude.  Trust your instincts.  You didn't feel safe and you had every right to close the door on his face. He might've been the sweetest guy ever but it's not rude to protect yourself, esp given the fact that he is intruding on your personal territory.

I once refused to open the door for a salesman and he kicked the door and said "open it."  Yeah, as if that was going to all of a sudden convince me I was wrong for not opening it up.   ::)

To the OP, absolutely no, you are not being rude.  You felt unsafe.  You did the right thing.

Roe: I have a "don't open the door" policy, too.  I am home alone all day. I am cop's wife.  Over the last year or so, there has been a dramatic increase in daytime burglaries in our town.  If the doorbell rings and it's a man I don't know, I don't open the door.  I have a card I hold up to the window that says in big bold print, "Thank you, but I am not interested."  I have had some men yell, "That's so RUDE!" or "Come on!  Just open the door."  Er, no, thank you.

A few weeks ago, I was outside getting my mail and a woman with a clipboard caught up to me before I could get to the door. She wasn't wearing a uniform.  All she had was a blue piece of paper that looked like an advertisement for a carpet cleaning special, but when you looked closer at that paper, there was no business name. There was no logo.  During her spiel, telling me that "a new carpet cleaning company" was running a special for the holidays, she never said the company's name or gave me her name. There was no official paperwork on her clipboard, just a (handwritten) list of addresses.  She was REALLY pushing for me to let her in so she could look at the carpets and give me an estimate.  I said no.  Repeatedly.  She didn't give me a card, "just in case I changed my mind," which is standard operating procedure for door to door sales.  That REALLY set off my hinky meter.  She just wasn't doing any of the things you expected a salesperson to do.  I am pretty sure she and the person in the unmarked blue van down the street were sizing up houses for break-ins.

After a while, she noticed I wasn't moving toward my door.  She said, "Aren't you going inside?"

I said, "Not until you leave."

She said, "You don't have to be RUDE about it!" and huffed off.  Before calling all of my neighbors to tell them not to open the door to this woman or her partner, I called the police non-emergency number to report her behavior as suspicious and give a description.  The dispatcher told me there had been similar reports in other neighborhoods.  So far, we haven't had any break-ins.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2012, 07:34:21 AM by weeblewobble »

Piratelvr1121

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2012, 07:18:03 AM »
OP, there was no way you were rude.  I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech.  This was the late 1950s/early 1960s.  She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish.  She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you".  She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road.  I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church.  None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches.  Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent.  "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!"
"No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)
"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?"
"Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."
The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you.  They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know.  I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

I would find that really frightening, if I were a parent.

It is really frightening, not to mention a good way to make sure that if the people in that home ever do decide to attend church, they will not darken the door of the one that tried that technique. I was NOT happy. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

suzieQ

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2012, 07:23:38 AM »
OP, there was no way you were rude.  I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech.  This was the late 1950s/early 1960s.  She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish.  She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you".  She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road.  I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church.  None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches.  Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent.  "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!"
"No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)
"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?"
"Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."
The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you.  They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know.  I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

I would find that really frightening, if I were a parent.

It is really frightening, not to mention a good way to make sure that if the people in that home ever do decide to attend church, they will not darken the door of the one that tried that technique. I was NOT happy.

And yet, I work at a church that does just that - they send a bus to a close by town that comes back full of kids who have parents that have never stepped foot in the church and probably don't even know where it is. People can be odd.

weeblewobble

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2012, 07:26:50 AM »
OP, there was no way you were rude.  I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech.  This was the late 1950s/early 1960s.  She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish.  She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you".  She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road.  I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church.  None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches.  Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent.  "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!"
"No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)
"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?"
"Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."
The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you.  They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know.  I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

I would find that really frightening, if I were a parent.

It is really frightening, not to mention a good way to make sure that if the people in that home ever do decide to attend church, they will not darken the door of the one that tried that technique. I was NOT happy.

That really is scary.  Was there a logo on the van or any proof that they actually were from a church?  For the record, our church also buses kids to church without their parents, but it's usually because the parents have signed the kids up for our youth programs and can't/won't drive them.

I have no problem with people from churches going door to door to offer people information about their church.  Again, I don't open the door for them if I'm home alone, but DH does.  As a matter of fact, a door to door campaign is what got DH and I back in church a few years ago. (We didn't go to the church that knocked on our door, but I think they should be happy they made a difference. :))

I DO have a problem with people who don't take, "I regularly go to church" as an answer.  We have had people say, in effect, "Well, that's not really the faith that will get you into heaven."  Or that their church is so much better.   We shut that conversation down really quick.

My BIL is a pastor.  His policy is that he will listen to evangelists, but they have to give him equal time to witness to them.  He tells them this up front.  VERY FEW people take him up on it.

blue2000

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2012, 07:46:12 AM »

<snip>

The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you.  They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know.  I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

I would find that really frightening, if I were a parent.

It is really frightening, not to mention a good way to make sure that if the people in that home ever do decide to attend church, they will not darken the door of the one that tried that technique. I was NOT happy.

And yet, I work at a church that does just that - they send a bus to a close by town that comes back full of kids who have parents that have never stepped foot in the church and probably don't even know where it is. People can be odd.

Most of the churches I know will pick people up (mostly kids and seniors). It is a nice thing to do for people who cannot get there otherwise. But it is generally something you arrange with the church beforehand, usually through someone you know. (I think the church has to have a liability waiver/permission slip from the parents. Too many things can go wrong if you are picking up a totally unknown, unaccompanied child).

 It is not a case of "Get in the van, little boy! We're going for a ride!" ??? :-\
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blue2000

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2012, 07:51:31 AM »

My BIL is a pastor.  His policy is that he will listen to evangelists, but they have to give him equal time to witness to them.  He tells them this up front.  VERY FEW people take him up on it.

Oldest Bro has a similar policy. He'll invite people in to discuss their views - he can go on for hours! He says most people don't ever come back.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

LeveeWoman

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2012, 07:56:54 AM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

Hollanda

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #37 on: December 14, 2012, 08:03:51 AM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

I was thinking that too.
 
I think it's universally agreed that anyone who tries to press religion, politics or beliefs on other people is rude.  That includes those who "cold call" knock on people's doors in order to try and sell something or ask for monetary donations. I would never and will never entertain these people.  I know they have jobs to do, but I don't agree with it.  It's infringing on people's privacy and it's just not right.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #38 on: December 14, 2012, 08:17:29 AM »
Honestly I don't remember if the van had a logo, probably did but I was really uncomfortable with the idea of them wanting to take our kids off to a church without us when we didn't even know them well or the church.

And I'm not knocking evangelicals in general, it was just the approach of this one guy that really bothered me. Most of them who come to our door I don't mind and I politely tell them "We have a church we're happy with", take their pamphlet and shut the door cause most of them are nice enough and don't feel the need to push, just hand me a pamphlet or door hanger that gives people the information for their church.  That's fine.  Heck our church has considered doing that to get more people in.

Our church has a van but it's for picking up already established members.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

msulinski

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #39 on: December 14, 2012, 08:56:08 AM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

I was thinking that too.
 
I think it's universally agreed that anyone who tries to press religion, politics or beliefs on other people is rude.  That includes those who "cold call" knock on people's doors in order to try and sell something or ask for monetary donations. I would never and will never entertain these people.  I know they have jobs to do, but I don't agree with it.  It's infringing on people's privacy and it's just not right.

Not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but I'm not sure if that is what the first poster meant by "knocking."

Hollanda

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #40 on: December 14, 2012, 09:21:11 AM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

I was thinking that too.
 
I think it's universally agreed that anyone who tries to press religion, politics or beliefs on other people is rude.  That includes those who "cold call" knock on people's doors in order to try and sell something or ask for monetary donations. I would never and will never entertain these people.  I know they have jobs to do, but I don't agree with it.  It's infringing on people's privacy and it's just not right.

Not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but I'm not sure if that is what the first poster meant by "knocking."

No, I just didn't make my point well.  What I intended to say was that it doesn't matter whether it's evangicals or catholics or whatever religion being pushy.  There seemed to be a lot of posters singling out evangicals, I'm sure by coincidence, but I guess to an evangical believer it might have looked a bit like being picked on.  I guess my point was it doesn't matter particularly what particular group or religion someone belongs to, being pushy about it is wrong.
 
Sorry for the confusion.  I appear to have left my brain on the pillow this morning.
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msulinski

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #41 on: December 14, 2012, 09:28:43 AM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

I was thinking that too.
 
I think it's universally agreed that anyone who tries to press religion, politics or beliefs on other people is rude.  That includes those who "cold call" knock on people's doors in order to try and sell something or ask for monetary donations. I would never and will never entertain these people.  I know they have jobs to do, but I don't agree with it.  It's infringing on people's privacy and it's just not right.

Not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but I'm not sure if that is what the first poster meant by "knocking."

No, I just didn't make my point well.  What I intended to say was that it doesn't matter whether it's evangicals or catholics or whatever religion being pushy.  There seemed to be a lot of posters singling out evangicals, I'm sure by coincidence, but I guess to an evangical believer it might have looked a bit like being picked on.  I guess my point was it doesn't matter particularly what particular group or religion someone belongs to, being pushy about it is wrong.
 
Sorry for the confusion.  I appear to have left my brain on the pillow this morning.

I see... I thought, based on the poster's statement of "stop knocking evangelicals" that you took to mean that the poster wanted to put a stop to evangelicals who knock on doors.

Hollanda

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #42 on: December 14, 2012, 09:47:25 AM »
My brain hurts!
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nuit93

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #43 on: December 14, 2012, 12:43:37 PM »
Can we stop knocking evangelicals?

I was worried this was going to go into attack mode too, even though I'm about as far from evangelical as one can get.

It does sound more like people are attacking the actions (taking kids to church w/o a parents' ok, not taking 'no thank you' for an answer, putting down other churches) rather than the evanglicals themselves, though.

Minmom3

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Re: People who knock on your door...
« Reply #44 on: December 14, 2012, 01:54:14 PM »
*** clipped ***

I would find that really frightening, if I were a parent.

I found it offensive when it happened to our family.  I've posted about it here before.  We had a neighbor in a condo complex who had a DEGREE in child evangelism  :o  :o  :o, and thought nothing of telling my 4 year old daughter that 'they stuck swords in Jesus, and he died for our sins'.  Imagine my dismay when my daughter came home from play at the little playground on the other side of our building and told me this.  Know, further, that we are atheist in our household.....  It took 2 years to shut her down, and I had to call her pastor and threaten to call the police if she didn't leave us alone.  She wasn't doing it to be malicious, and I knew that then.  But she had no children of her own, and could not and would not understand how thoroughly she crossed appropriate boundaries even when told bluntly that she had done so.  She would repeat the transgression and go on to new ones she added to the list.  She, in her willful innocence/ignorance/naivete could NOT conceive that her degree did not give her permission to say anything about ANYTHING to anybody.  Everything was her business, not just educating children in her version of fundamental Christianity.  She regularly reduced grown women to tears with some of her nasty words.

On the funny side (at least for ME), I discovered that all my deadly serious curses are blasphemes...  I was raised a 'cultural Christian', even though we don't believe, so I got a lot of early training from my lapsed Grandmother.  It stuck much better than I ever thought.   ;)  Miss my Grandma, she was a wonderful woman. 

ETA:  Not knocking Evangelicals in general, as long as they target grownups, or at least teens.  I take serious offense, though, at somebody who thinks it's just fine to discuss religion with my pre-schooler without asking for my permission first.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2012, 01:56:46 PM by Minmom3 »
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