Next year I might drop the 1 kid per age birthday party

[YummyMummy66]

I don't have a Christmas babe, so take it for what it is worth.

Why must you have her birthday party exactly around the time of her birthday?  Why not pick the beginning of the month when more people are available or maybe in the middle of January?   As long as you have a small family birthday party on or around her birthday, your child will be fine with having a kid's party at another time. 

Even with my own three children, I don't think I have ever had a friend party on their exact birthday unless it happened to work out that way on a weekend.

[camlan]

As someone with a December birthday, I will say that a half-birthday party in the summer isn't such a bad idea.

As a kid, I felt that all the fun, important days happened in the winter--Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Years. There was only Easter and 4th of July for the rest of the year. Other kids had their birthdays to break up the monotony, I didn't.

All my presents, for the whole year, came in a two week span in December. So all I got was winter stuff. Winter clothes, winter toys.

Summer birthday parties seemed like so much more fun than winter ones. You could go outside and play games or go swimming. You could have a picnic meal outside, in the sun. Winter birthday parties meant you were stuck indoors and had to play nicely and keep your voices down. You had to watch out for crumbs and be neat.

[Lynn2000]

So I may have read it on this board, but I really liked the idea of 1 child per age of birthday kid idea for a party.

The first two years we just a random party with people and the birthday part was incidental. We didn't even have a cake if I remember correctly.

Then for her third birthday, she could pick three friends and it was all good. We have a small house and in December the parties need to be indoors so I wanted to limit the number of kids.

This year, she picked her 4 friends, but I hadn't thought through what a pain this was. Because I want to have 4 kids attend, she can't just invite 4 kids to party that is 3 days before Christmas. That could end easily up with zero attendees. So instead I have this revolving list of kids and then I email to see if the kids are free and then I need to get some more names and then email those kid's parents and of course this starts to feel more A list/B list the more people I contact.

So far, I contacted 3 of 4 kids from the original list and 1 can attend as the others are out of town. I have another 2 added to the list so I'll contact those next.

Next year, I think I will rent a place and invite everyone and let the invites fall where they may or I might just go with a family party and she can have friend parties in the summer (but not birthday parties)

Any other suggestions for the birthdays for the Christmas babies?

Sorry, I'm confused about something. So it sounds like your daughter has four specific people she wants to invite to her birthday party. But, given that you're holding the party so close to Christmas, most of them already have plans and aren't able to attend. Makes sense. Why not just have the party with the ones who can come? It will be a small party, sure, but maybe you can go to someplace/do something more special that you couldn't do with a larger group.

I guess I kind of interpreted your post as, you needed to have four warm bodies and when your DD's preferred guests couldn't make it, you just started calling other, less preferred kids to fill the slots. And to me that doesn't sound like much fun, to have to spend your birthday party with whoever was available, instead of your friends. I'm sorry if that's a mischaracterization, that's just how it sounded to me.

[bopper]

I agree with others...determine the best time to have the party, even if that is after his birthday.  My daughter has a end of august birthday and we had a couple of years with very low attendance because people were on vacation at that point.  We started having her party a cuople of weeks later after school started and had much better luck.  I would reach out to a couple of her best friends parents and make sure the day was good for them, and then invite the rest.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

My niece's birthday is December 23, but her birthday party was in early December.  My sister-in-law wanted to avoid date conflicts so she decided that the last two weekends before Christmas were not going to work.

If you want to have four kids come, why not invite more than four kids to begin with?  Then you can avoid the A list/B list.  Even if you get a few extra acceptances, I don't think it would ruin your daughter's party to have one or two kids more than your limit.  I think the goal of having 1 guest per year of age is aimed at having a small party, it's not that five guests for a 5-year-old is noticeably different than having four or six guests.

[bah12]

While I think that the one kid per age is a good rule of thumb, you'll drive yourself crazy trying to get exactly 4 kids, no more - no less, at a party.  If it were me, I would use it as a general guidline, not a hard and fast number.  In other words, she's 4 so she doesn't need to have a party with 50 kids, but she can handle more than one or two friends.

In the future, I would just let her make her list of her closest friends.  Invite them and whoever can come, can come.  One invite list and you're done.

I get the dillemma with the birthday being so close to Christmas and I like the suggestions you've already gotten....which pretty much boils down to havign the party a little earlier or a little later.  I also like the half-birthday idea.  She can have her friends over in the summer and then a family birthday on her birthday.

[Margo]

my cousin was born Dec. 23rd. When he was at the kids party age he had an 'official birthday' on 23rd June. It was much easier for everyone, as it didn't conflict with any major holiday, it was in school term time not a holiday, and you could have a dozen small boys running all over the garden, instead of being stuck indoors, or covered in mud if they went out.  Family would send gifts and cards for his actual birthday.

But you could have it much nearer to your daughter's actual birthady - maybe in the 2nd or 3rd week of Jan, when the schools are back and everyone is over the christmas rush.

[johelenc1]

I agree with the above posters.  Just because she can invite 4, it doesn't mean she has to HAVE 4 friends.  Because of their extreme prematurity and because we were between churches, my girls honestly didn't have any real friends until they were really 4 years old.*  (We met that little friend at Little Gym).  Their 3rd BD party was at our house with family - and their one friend (and her mom - my friend).  They dressed up as princesses and we had a princess pinata and cake.  Other than that - they just played.

Year 5 - they then had 2 friends - same friend from before and new little girl from church.  So - party at home, flower pots to paint, food, family and their two little friends playing in the playroom and back yard.

Now that they are in school, (K), they will probably have friends from school to invite, but I will keep it small. 

Parties don't have to be elaborate or fancy.  Some balloons, cake and a friend to play with, and most kids are pretty happy:-)

[Deetee]

I guess I kind of interpreted your post as, you needed to have four warm bodies and when your DD's preferred guests couldn't make it, you just started calling other, less preferred kids to fill the slots. And to me that doesn't sound like much fun, to have to spend your birthday party with whoever was available, instead of your friends. I'm sorry if that's a mischaracterization, that's just how it sounded to me.

Not really. But as I said, this close to Christmas, it is very possible to invite 4 people and have exactly zero people who can attend so I need to invite in a few rounds. She has a reasonable number of children that she enjoys the company of. I asked her to choose who we should invite and as long as they are her close friends, I'm happy if they come. (It was odd. Her first picks were not the ones that I would have guessed at all).

I mean, I am OK explaining to my kid that we can only have 3 kids instead of the 4 she invited due to circumstances, but I am not going to tell her that she can have no kids for her friend party because no-one could make it and I won't invite anyone else.

The other parties we have, she can say who she wants to invite, but we make the final guest list ourselves and it's really up to us. (Those parties are for kids and adults as well). It's only her birthday where I really liked the idea of one kid per year in theory. However in practise, it is a bit of a pain. The A list/B list thing would not work with older kids, but I am cool with it for a 4 year old. I've been emailing people over a few says anyhow.

There are a few things to juggle. We are crazy busy in December. And while we are cool with a flex birthday, but I decided I didn't actually want a summer half birthday as it just seems excessive.

Like I said, I really liked the idea of 4 kids for 4, but the logistics did not hit me until I started dealing with invites this year. (I think last year it may have been earlier so people were in town.)

Anyhow, I like all the ideas and I'll sort something out for next year. Likely, I'll move it earlier.

[Sophia]

Instead of a half birthday, you could do it one month later.  Often January is such a let down after the holidays

[georgedillo]

Another December baby here, and I second the half-birthday idea.  I grew up in a small house in the Frozen North, and there was no way my mother wanted a bunch of little girls running around inside when it was snowing out, so we always had my party in June.  It worked great, and I think more people were able to come that way.  Not that it helps this year, but for future reference...

[rain]

I haven't read all the answers- I like the early b-day party with friends - one year I did a Halloween birthday party for DS and it was a big hit.

the kids loved getting to wear their costumes, had Halloween themed games outdoors, did trick or treating in our neighborhood, and left early enough to do trick or treating in their own neighborhoods

[Giggity]

As a Christmas baby, I see two options:

1) Have an early party (in October/early November) or a late party (late January/early February).  Then have a special party with just immediate family on/near her birthday.

or

2)  Do half-birthday parties in June.

My parents did the June thing for me when I was small (December 27 birthday). All my friends were around in June, so it worked out great.

[MommyPenguin]

Wow, this is making me feel so much better about my daughter's January birthday!  Planning a party while busy with Christmas preparations is one thing, but having the party sounds a lot worse!

Honestly, I sympathize with wanting "4 warm bodies" or the like.  With little kids, sure, sometimes they have super close friends.  But sometimes?  They just like playing with other kids.  My oldest is about to make her 6th major move in 6 years.  For her 4th birthday, we were having trouble coming up with kids to invite.  She was so excited about having a birthday party... cake, ice cream, a pinata, games, etc.  The issue was finding other kids to invite, especially when only one of her friends could come.  It's just hard to really play some of those games with two kids, and she'd been waiting all *year* for the chance.  (I ended up calling a friend who had kids just a bit older.  She brought over her daughter and the daughter's friend, so there were two more little girls who played with mine at church, even if they weren't super close friends.)  Thankfully, this year we've been in one place for 18 months or thereabouts, so she's got plenty of kids to ask.

[girlysprite]

I'm reading some great ideas here! My son has been born on 5th December, which is de date of a big child holiday here (netherlands) which would completely overshadow his birthdays to come. I thimk that once he is old enough to invite friends over, we'll do the half birthday.