Author Topic: Can I Ignore Him?  (Read 3720 times)

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Sparkle Star

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Can I Ignore Him?
« on: December 14, 2012, 08:23:36 AM »
I do a lot of business networking and use LinkedIn for a great deal of my online activity.

Yesterday I accepted an invitation to connect from a sales guy with an established - and respected - local firm of property lawyers and sent my standard message - "Thanks for the connect, good to 'meet' you, happy to get together for coffee if you ever feel we could help you' type of thing.

He messaged me back saying: "Yes great, where do you live? I'm out in Local Town later."
I thought that was inappropriate but I didn't want to be rude and ignore him so I sent a reply this morning that said "I hope you had a pleasant evening. Our offices are in Nearby Village."

About an hour ago I got another message that says: "Yes, great thanks. What's up, didn't you fancy coming out?"
And I've just received another that says: "You have a great smile." (Presumably from my profile photo.)

This is definitely outside accepted boundaries. I'm thinking maybe he's just some sales kid trying to make contacts and doesn't realise he's being inappropriate, as the firm isn't some fly-by-night cowboy business. I also wouldn't mind an "in" to work with them, but I'm not pursuing it through this guy.

Is it rude if I just ignore these last two messages or should I respond but make it clear he's behaviour isn't acceptable?
Love, dance and chocolate fudge cake - what more do I need?

Kaypeep

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2012, 08:28:49 AM »
I'd reply back with something like "I appreciate the Link connect and will be in touch if our company is in need of (type of business) services.  Right now, we are all set.  Thank you." and hopefully he'll take the hint you aren't interested.

bah12

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2012, 11:46:36 AM »
It seems like he's using LinkedIn as a social site vs a business one.  I don't think it would be rude to ignore him, but I would probably lean towards saying something if it were me.  Be clear and direct.

"I do not use business contacts for social engagements.  All correspondace should be business related.  If we need your services I will be in touch."

onyonryngs

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2012, 11:51:01 AM »
Ignore, but if you want to take it further, you can flag his profile as inappropriate and send a note to LinkedIn. 

Morticia

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2012, 01:12:42 PM »
"I'm sorry. You seem to have confused your LinkedIn and eHarmony accounts. LinkedIn is the one for business."  >:D
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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JoyinVirginia

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2012, 01:20:13 PM »
I would ignore. Its there any way on LinkedIn you could block his messages?

JoyinVirginia

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2012, 01:21:19 PM »
Ignore, but if you want to take it further, you can flag his profile as inappropriate and send a note to LinkedIn.
If you can do this, it would be good action

SoCalVal

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2012, 01:32:38 PM »
I would ignore him.  He sounds like he's a newbie who thinks that flattering someone's appearance will help give him an in (I've had that experience with a salesperson or two; I've just blinked back at them or gave an abrupt, "Thank you; how may I help you?" in order to keep them on track and to show I wasn't buying the attempts at flattery).



yokozbornak

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2012, 04:29:22 PM »
Is it possible that you mentioing going out for coffee was viewed as a social invitation to him?  I'll be honest, if I am making a business connection, I would expect to be invited to an office, not to coffee.  I am not saying that his responses haven't been offensive and creepy, but I thank he may have misinterpreted your initial comment and thought you were interested socially. 

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2012, 06:15:08 PM »
Just another flirt. I would just ignore him. They are a dime a dozen. Besides, I'm sure he's used to being ignored if he sends messages like that very often.

Queen of Clubs

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2012, 10:22:02 AM »
Is it possible that you mentioing going out for coffee was viewed as a social invitation to him?  I'll be honest, if I am making a business connection, I would expect to be invited to an office, not to coffee.  I am not saying that his responses haven't been offensive and creepy, but I thank he may have misinterpreted your initial comment and thought you were interested socially.

I agree.  Yes, I think his last message was totally over the line, but I felt confused over the beginning of the post as you'd mentioned going out for coffee together first.

Barney girl

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2012, 12:43:20 PM »
I wouldn't consider suggesting meeting for coffee unusual when following up a contact like this. It's a more informal atmosphere, than sitting either side of a desk as you would with clients.
I see the OP is in the UK too, so it may be different ways of networking in different countries. I certainly wouldn't expect the contact to view it as a social engagement.

pinkyblue

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2012, 02:23:22 PM »
Is it possible that you mentioing going out for coffee was viewed as a social invitation to him?  I'll be honest, if I am making a business connection, I would expect to be invited to an office, not to coffee.  I am not saying that his responses haven't been offensive and creepy, but I thank he may have misinterpreted your initial comment and thought you were interested socially.

That was my reaction, too, especially as it seems meeting for coffee is many peoples' preference when it comes to a first date or social encounter.  I can see how he might have misinterpreted it.  If it were me, I'd change that standard message to "happy to set up an appointment if you think our company could help you" or some other wording that makes it clear the offer is strictly business.

I think it would be very awkward straightening this out at this point, so it's probably best to ignore him and hope it blows over.  If he persists, though, reporting him sounds like a better option than trying to deal with him directly. 

magician5

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2012, 04:52:42 PM »
"Where do you live" might have meant "what town" or "what part of the area" so that he could arrange a meeting convenient to you. It may not necessarily have meant "what's your home address?"
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Sparkle Star

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Re: Can I Ignore Him?
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2012, 08:05:43 AM »
Thanks for the comments everyone.
I haven't replied to him and have had no further contact so I will leave it there.... Especially as a friend of mine mentioned someone had recently started following her on Twitter, she put out a usual 'thanks to new followers' Tweet and then got a private message saying "You have a beautiful smile." Guess who......?!?!  ::)

Interested to read the responses about coffee being mistaken as a social invitation; it's a pretty standard thing in our circles to have this kind of informal meeting to learn more about each other's businesses, but I take the point that might be misconstrued by some. I shall reword in future!  :)
Love, dance and chocolate fudge cake - what more do I need?